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MORAL CUSTODIANS - Wanaume wanaweza kuleta mabadiliko ....ikiwa....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by WomanOfSubstance, Oct 27, 2009.

  1. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 27, 2009
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    Wanaume ni viongozi nje na ndani ya nyumba si ndiyo?
    Kiongozi anaangaliwa na waongozwa kama kioo na dira ya kila kitu.
    Katika setting ya nyumbani/familia wanaume aghalabu hujichukulia kama ni kichwa na wengi wetu tunakubali hilo bila ubishi wowote na kama mamlaka basi hatuna budi kuiheshimu.
    Inakuwaje nyumba nyingi na familia nyingi zimekumbwa na mitafaruku, mizozo, ukengeufu na kila aina ya ubaya? Kuna thread imeanzishwa na mwana mama mmoja hapa akikiri kuwa amefanya kinyume na matarajio kama mke. Kilichovutia katika mjadala huo ni kuona akina kaka/baba wakiwa mstari wa mbele kabisa kumpasha na kuzodoa kwa kitendo alichokifanya cha kuwa na mwanaume wa pembeni baada ya mumewe kumsaliti.Hapa inaonyesha kuwa kweli akina baba wanashika ile hatamu ya uongozi kwa kukemea maovu katika jamii.Lakini je, ni akina baba wangapi wanaonyesha kukereka na tabia hizi kwa vitendo ukiachilia mbali maneno matupu?Wangeonyesha kwa mfano nadhani familia nyingi zingesimama imara na matatizo mengi ya kijamii yangepungua sana.

    Je Viongozi hawa wameshindwa wajibu wao?
    Familia zingekuwa ni nchi, hawa viongozi tungewachagua na kuwarudisha tena madarakani?
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
    Oct 27, 2009
    Joined: May 15, 2006
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    Tatizo ni inherently, binadamu wengi ni wanafiki. Wake kwa waume. Unakemea kitu wakati na wewe uko hicho hicho unachokemea.
     
  3. Bluray

    Bluray JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 27, 2009
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    Let's talk about people, hizi habari za "wanaume/ wanawake" zitaanzisha sex wars zisizo na tija.

    Wanawake kama wanataka maendeleo na usawa wa kijinsia inabidi waanze kujiangalia kama watu, na si kama wanawake. It sounds counter-intuitive lakini ndiyo ukweli.

    The more wanapo assert kwamba wao ni victim na wanaume ni tatizo the more wanavyo surrender uwezo wao wa kufanya mabadiliko.
     
  4. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 28, 2009
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    Ukiwa positive hutaona connotations of wars of the sexes... just focus on the issue.

    The thing is when it comes to maintaining "morals" we like harping a lot but when it comes to walking the talk kuna back-peddling kwa hali ya juu.Kwanini tusiwe consistent? Thats my concern.

    If its not good for "X" its not good for "y" either thats all im saying.Kama matendo fulani ni mabaya machoni mwa binadamu basi yakemewe all the way na siyo kuyapunguzia uzito kwa vile aliyetendewa siyo mimi.
     
  5. Kweli

    Kweli JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 28, 2009
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    Katika jamii nyingi tendo la ngono linapewa kipaumbele kwenye ndoa na ndio maana tunakuwa so emotional pindi mmoja aki-cheat, Na mara nyingi huwa ndio chanzo cha kubomoka kwa familia nyingi. Kuna watu wachache katika jamii za Magharibi wana practice vitu kama wife/husband sharing na kwao ni norms kabisa, na hawa huwa wanaishi maisha ya kusikilizana sana kuliko wale tulio kwenye traditional marriage, utakuta huyo mke akiulizwa na mumewe ulikuwa wapi anamjibu openly nilienda kumegwa na mume naye ni hivohivo akienda kumega anarudi kumuhadithia live mkewe, to most of us this is an appalling behaviour, inhumane and morally wrong, lakini ukweli unabaki binaadamu hatujaumbwa katika mazingira ya kuishi mke/mume mmoja. Pengine tunajilazimisha kwa kufuata misingi ya dini, It is all in your brain.
    Kama (in our brain) sex isingekuwa big deal as a foundation in happy relation basi mizozo mingi isingekuwepo, most marriages would survive and families remain intact.
    Ukweli ni kwamba asilimia nyingi wanacheat na itaendelea kuwa hivo mpaka mwisho wa dunia kwa sababu ni instinctively human nature.
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 28, 2009
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    Wanaume wanaweza kuleta mabadiliko ....ikiwa.... wanawake watakubali kuongozwa.:)D)


    Hakuna mhitimu wa cheti cha ndoa, Diploma au Digrii... Kila mtu anaichukulia ndoa kwa muono, tafsiri na maamuzi jinsi upeo wa akili yake na experience inavyomuongoza.

    Ikiwa unaiheshimu misingi na mipaka ya maisha yako kuanzia kiimani, kimila na tamaduni, kijamii nk sidhani kama mitafaruku midogo midogo kama hii ya ndoa itakuwa mikubwa kiasi ya kuathiri maisha binafsi...

    Tatizo la wengi, miiko, mila, maadili na tamaduni zilizojenga misingi ya jamii husika inakiukwa kwa makusudi kabisa, na athari zake ndio hizi sasa, na tena sumu yake ilivyo mbaya vizazi navyo vinaathirika kwa kwenda mbele...

    Ndio maana leo hii matendo ya kusagana na ushoga, hata kula 'Tigo' imekuwa kawaida... mtu Kutembea na Mke/mume/shemeji/rafiki imekuwa kawaida,
    Viongozi wa dini kutembea na waumini wao ishakuwa kawaida, watu wazima kuzini na watoto ni kawaida,...Almuradi kawaida imekuwa kama sheria, na watu wanajisifia, na kusifiwa kufanya mambo haya, na jamii inawashangilia serengeti boys, nyumba ndogo nk...

    Kuwalaumu wanaume pekee sidhani kama ni haki...

    Jamii nzima imeangamia!
     
  7. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #7
    Oct 28, 2009
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    Ni kweli kabisa Bluray, akina mama wengi huwa wanajiweka nyuma hata kama wanaona mambo yanaharibika sababu tu wao sio viongozi katika nyumba. Tena wengine badala ya kuongea na Mr na kushauriana jinsi ya kujenga nyumba yao wao kutwa kuongea na marafiki jinsi nyumba inavyobomoka. na kwa jinsi marafiki wasivyopenda nyumba zinazopendeza watakutia ujinga ilimradi tu uzidi kubomoa nyumba yako.
    Ni wakati sasa akina mama tujione kuwa tuna majukumu ya kuongoza familia zetu sawa na akina baba. na wababa wengi huwa wanasikiliza sana wakikuona upo serious, na wanafurahia sana ushauri mzuri
     
  8. Q

    Quiet Member

    #8
    Oct 28, 2009
    Joined: Oct 16, 2009
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    kama mume ni rais basi mke ni waziri mkuu. jahazi likiparaganyika inabidi serikali nzima ilaumiwe (mke na mume).
    tukikubali au kukataa, ukweli unabaki kwamba mwanamme hawezi kuishi bila mwanamke na mwanamke hawezi kuishi bila mwanamme (in exception ya gays na lesbians). mimi nadhani mzimu mmoja unaotuandama ni saikolojia ya kuamini kwamba kuingia ndani ya ndoa ni kuingia ndani ya matatizo. tukumbuke kwamba utakapoingia ndani ya ndoa na mtazamo huu basi hata kama ndoa yako haina tatizo utaitafutia tatizo ili uthibitishe kile inachoamini akili yako.

    pili ni kwamba wengi wetu tunasahau kwamba ndoa inawakutanisha watu wawili wenye asili na tabia tofauti, hivyo tunaingia kwenye ndoa tukitegemea kwamba tutaishi bila mikwaruzano.

    mimi nadhani jukumu la kudumisha ndoa ni la wanandoa wawili (mke na mume), hata kama mume atakuwa kiongozi.

    NYUMA YA KILA KIONGOZI MZURI BASI KUNA MSAIDIZI MZURI.

    quiet.
     
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