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Mapenzi! (?)

Discussion in 'JF Doctor' started by Mbu, Jul 27, 2008.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 27, 2008
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...Hakuna utamu maskioni kama siku ya siku mbele ya kaasisi, shekhe, au msajili bomani unapotamka/tamkiwa maneno haya;...


    ...iweje siku ya siku unashindwa uvumilivu?, unaporomosha matusi, kejeli, na mangumi kwa huyo huyo laaziz wako kudaiana talaka, kunyang'anyana mali, watoto na hata wengine kuuana?

    Mapenzi ni nini, au ni neno linalokuzwa tu bila watu kujua maana yake?

    ...au ndio kama Brand?, 'tangible product'?, watu wanafuata mkumbo tu (i.e ...'na mimi pia napenda')?...
     
  2. Gang Chomba

    Gang Chomba JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 27, 2008
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    hakuna mapenzi yasiyo na mikwaruzano
    kwa sababu hakuna mwanadamu aliyekamilika
    so cha msingi ni kuvumiliana tu na yakizidi basi hayo mengine ni lazma yachukue mkondo wake.
     
  3. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 27, 2008
    Joined: Dec 22, 2007
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    MCHONGOMA;
    kuna watu wanatamka maneno hayo kwa sababu tu wanataka hifadhi,au mmoja anataka hela za mwenzake,au mmoja ameambiwa bila mke/mme no promotion kazini,au umri umeshapita au anataka ngono au title au suna tu na sababu nyinginezo.

    Kwa ufupi wanao maanisha ktk mapenzi ni wachache sana siku hizi.kupishana kupo,hata waliokaa miaka zaidi ya 40 ktk ndoa/mapenzi watakwambia. Ndoa/mapenzi ni taasisi yenye miiko yake na kanuni zake na ni lazima ufuate.

    Girlfriend hatendewi kama mke(vice versa),sasa unapotaka kuishi na mke/mme kama girlfriend/boyfriend ndipo mziki unapoanza.

    Nimechangia kidogo na wengine wachangie tupate jibu
     
  4. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 28, 2008
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    Mkuu hapa zaidi nadhani unamaanisha mapenzi ndani ya ndoa?
    Katika ndoa kuna mambo mengi sana yanayoweza kusababisha wanandoa/wapenzi kutofautiana na hata kufarakana kabisa. La muhimu na ambalo nimejifunza kutoka kwa wakongwe na wazazi wetu ndoa inahitaji uelewa mkubwa sana na pia busara.

    Kama unaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu unaona age mates wako wanaoa/kuolewa then ujue unapotea. Inahitaji moyo na akili zza ziada kufanya tafakari kabla hujaoa/kuolewa. Ndoa nyingi zinaishia kuharibika kwa sababu kila mmoja anaassume yeye ni mjanja na pia anaona bado kuna mambo hayapati katika ndoa hiyo na ndio maana yanatokea haya....

    someni hii habari fupi hapa chini ndo mtu utaweza kujua uelewa unaotakiwa ili mtu uishi kwa amani sio kwenye ndoa tu hata katika maisha mengine....
    Nawasilisha wakuu...
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #5
    Jul 29, 2008
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    dmussa this is a very useful message to all whether you are married or still in courting relationship.... just be in the first class because they do say that ' you never know what you have until you loose it'
    Thanks dmussa
     
  6. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 29, 2008
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    dmussa,
    asante kwa mchango wako. Ni kweli kabisa, ndio sababu tamaa ilimshinda fisi.
     
  7. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 29, 2008
    Joined: Sep 25, 2007
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    dont you know kwamba tunalazimishwa to say those words ... uniform to all married couples ...tangia enzi na enzi .... wangetuachia kila mmoja akawa na kiapo chake ... pangekuwa patamu hapo ... i swear ningefuatilia kila harusi .... tena batangulia mimi front kabisa nyuma ya shekhe au front bench kanisani kusikia hizo vows
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 29, 2008
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    dmussa, maneno mazito sana hayo mkuu uliyoyaleta, uzidishiwe!!!
     
  9. K

    Kungurumweupe JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 29, 2008
    Joined: Jun 17, 2008
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    Kweli kabisa wangetuacha kila mtu aseme maneno atakayo. Pangekuwa patamu... kwani ninauhakika wanawake wangesema hawakotayari kuendelea na mahusiano ya ndoa wakati wa family financial calamity!
     
  10. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 29, 2008
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    ...dah, naona wengi mna advocate mikataba tofauti na hivyo viapo vya asili. au ndio sababu ya ndoa nyingi kuvunjika siku hizi, maana vile viapo vya asili havitekelezeki kwa mfumo wa maisha ya siku hizi.

    imagine; "...until death do us apart we marry for better but NOT for worse!, ...NO WAY, and i insist, Big NO!"

    Hivi mmegundua baina ya wanawake na wanaume, ni kina nani kwa asilimia kubwa sasa wanakosa uvumilivu zaidi ndani ya nyumba?

    we acha tu!
     
  11. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 29, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2008
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    :cool:Aisee safi sana..... hiyo story ya first class, jamani ukiwaona wamenyoosha miguuu..... nyie mwafifinyana tu huko coach class.....

    if you keep comparing yourself with other pple u will be miserable kabisa,...... we actually forget that we are better off than a million other pple.......
     
  12. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 30, 2008
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    Go away man!!! .... ni nyumba ndogo tu ndizo tusizovumilia lakini shida ... tena tunavumilia kweli kweli ... maana unakuta mwanaume anakuachia hela kidogo tu ya matumizi ilhali anajua vyema kwamba familia yake yote inategemea kila kitu hapo hapo ...

    hakika wanawake tuna moyo hasa .. tupeni pongezi wanaume wote humu JF
     
  13. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #13
    Jul 30, 2008
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    mchongoma unazungumzia uvumilivu wa kitu gani?..... Kama ni uvumilivu wa maudhi ya kwenye ndoa basi tujiulize nani is more likely kufanya makosa na maudhi ndani ya ndoa so as to be able to judge nani ni mvumilivu.
     
  14. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #14
    Jul 30, 2008
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    You said it all da naima.
     
  15. M

    Maindainda Member

    #15
    Jul 30, 2008
    Joined: Jun 1, 2008
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    Mchongoma,

    Mimi nadhani nashangaa kama wewe ila si sana.
    Kuna nguvu kubwa sana inayompeleka mtu altareni, na nadhani maharusi wanapogeuka kutoka kwa padri anayefungisha ndoa kurudi nyumbani nguvu hiyo hupungua taratibu hadi kufa kabisa kama hakuna uangalifu na tahadhari kuchukuliwa. Hiyo nguvu ni upendo. Ikiisha hapo ndipo mtu anaanza kumuona mke/mume kama colleague wa ofisini na anapata ujasiri wa kumtusi na kutokumvumilia kama awali. Ndio wengine hata huuana kwasababu upendo hamna tena.

    Wanandoa wengi hujisahau. Wangapi wenu hamkumbuki ni lini mmewapa full attention wake/waume zenu kwa at least saa moja ktk kipindi cha mwezi mmoja uliopita? Hapa simaanishi kwenda party/bar pamoja, au kazini. Namaanisha kumwangalia mwenzio machoni, kumsikiliza bila interruption yoyote na kumpa maneno matamu!

    Ndoa ni gharama na watu wengi hawapendi kuilipa hiyo gharama. Ndio watu wanaishia nyumba ndogo, maofisini, kulewa maana nyumbani si mahali pazuri tena, ile nguvu iliyowapeleka altare imekufa, imekwisha.

    Hakuna mwanadamu asiyependa kupendwa, na pia ni wachache ambao hawa respond unapowapenda kwa dhati. Ila penda unapopendeka, mapenzi ya upande mmoja yanachosha na jamii yetu imekuza kuwapenda sana wanaume na kuwaenzi bila kuwaambia wao wawapende na kuwajali wake zao, na ndio maana kitchen party haziishi.
     
  16. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jul 30, 2008
    Joined: Sep 24, 2007
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    Maindainda,
    Point noted.....
    bado wengi wetu tunaoa/kuolewa kwa sababu tunafikiri kuwa kwenye ndoa tunabadilisha status!! Pete kuuubwaa kwenye kidole inatufanya tudhanie kila mtu anaetuona atatupa heshima kwa sababu tumeoa/kuolewa. This is not the case!! Ile nguvu inayompleka mtu altareni/msikitini/kwa mkuu wa wilaya inastahili kuwa nguvu ya kweli!!! Mke/Mume mwema anatoka kwa Mungu lakini na sisi pia tunachangia sana kupata wake/waume wasio wema kwa sababu ya tamaa zetu.
     
  17. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jul 30, 2008
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...dada'ngu hivi hao wanaume wa hivyo mnawapata wapi, ulipendana nae kabla ya kuoana au ndio mambo ya kutafutiwa mchumba?

    haijalishi mtu wa namna hiyo kuwa ni yule yule uliyekula nae kiapo, "tunaoana kwa heri, tutaishi kwa heri,... kuhurumiana, kuheshimiana..."

    ...au nawe umechangia katika mmomonyoka wa ndoa hiyo dada'ngu jamani? :(
     
  18. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 30, 2008
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    Mchongoma ... wanaume wenye shida au wenye kupenda nyumba ndogo??? ... viapo ni vile vile mwenzangu ... kibaya zaidi huwezi kujua yaliyo moyoni mwa mwenzako huenda anahapa toka mdomoni na si moyoni

    Wanaume wengi siku hizi wanavitabia vya ajabu .. ajabu .. kila kona wanawake wanalalama....

    Mimi nafanya yaliyo ndani ya uwezo wangu nikishindwa sibebi mzigo miye.. na ubwaga puuuuu ... na talaka itanikuta mbele ya safari
     
  19. Triplets

    Triplets JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jul 31, 2008
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    hivi viapo vya kuapa kama kasuku navyo vina walakini, kwa kweli itakuwa ni jambo la maana sana kwa wale ambao bado hawajaingia kwenye ndoa kupewa hicho kiapo mapema na kukisoma, kukitafakari, kujadiliana, kuchanganua kwa undani yaliyopo kwenye kiapo hicho miezi kabla ya siku ya harusi, ili wanapotoa hizo ahadi mbele ya Mungu na kadamnasi angalau wawe wanamaanisha wanachoongea yaani kutoka moyoni

    na wenye ndoa nao wavipitie hivi viapo tena mara kwa mara na kwa pamoja ili kujikumbusha yaliyoandikwa humo kwa sababu ni maneno mazito sana, ukiyatafakari kabla ya ndoa unaweza hata kuahirisha harusi kama kweli uko serious na maisha

    oohh...naapa kuishi nae kwenye shida na raha, ugonjwa na uzima...halafu baadae tuna ondoka eti mume/mke wangu ana kichaa... kwani kichaa sio ugonjwa?
     
  20. V

    VURU New Member

    #20
    Sep 2, 2008
    Joined: Aug 29, 2008
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    MCHONGOMA hayo ni maneno umetoa.shukuru ulichonacho na kama jamani kuna matatizo ndani ya ndoa watu tuongee na partners wetu na kufindishana tunapendelea nini
     
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