laugh out loud loooooool

Mohammed Shossi said:
Joe: Your secretary is very sexy. John: Thanks, it is a robot from Japan her name is Kotto. If u squeeze her right breast she takes notes and if u squeeze the left she types. You can borrow her for a day and see for yourself. Next day Joe called from the hospital and shouted: John you BASTARD, you didn't tell me Kotto's pussy is a pencil sharpener.
Click to expand...

teh teh teh. Hata mm ningeazimwa yangenikuta hayo ila mm kingeanza kuchongwa kidole kwanza.
 
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit and a diamond rolex steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $5,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You fu#k her again'.
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!’ The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit and a diamond rolex steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $5,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You fu#k her again'.
Click to expand...

YAh! Biashara nzuri sana!
 
komedi said:
Chinese in Kariakoo

A chinese came to do some petty business in Kariakoo in Dar with his newly married chinese wife. After a year she gives birth to a purely black bouncing baby boy.

He names him ''Sum Tin Wong''.
Click to expand...


"something wrong" lol.
 
A Girl posts an advertisement in newspaper for her Life-partner.

"Need a person who never leaves me,
never beats me
And
can satisfy me on bed"

Next day a guy with no arms and legs knocks at her door.

Girl: who are U?

Guy: I want to be ur husband.

Girl: U don't fit for that.

Guy: I don't have arms,
So i can't beat u.
I don't have legs,
so i can't leave u.

Girl: How can u satisfy me on bed ?

Guy:
How do u think i knocked the door..?
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
A Girl posts an advertisement in newspaper for her Life-partner.

"Need a person who never leaves me,
never beats me
And
can satisfy me on bed"

Next day a guy with no arms and legs knocks at her door.

Girl: who are U?

Guy: I want to be ur husband.

Girl: U don't fit for that.

Guy: I don't have arms,
So i can't beat u.
I don't have legs,
so i can't leave u.

Girl: How can u satisfy me on bed ?

Guy:
How do u think i knocked the door..?
Click to expand...
hahahahahaahahahah ebwana ndio....
 
duh hiyo safi,ngoja na ww ucheke shoga mmoja alikosa soko akaona bora ajiue yaishe. jamaa akapanda juu ya gorofa ajiachie lakini akakumbuka ukijiua lazima utaingia motoni akasema haina noma akafumba macho akajiachia akaangukia kwenye lori lililobeba ndizi kupapasa akashika zile ndizi akasema ndo raha ya kuingia motoni mboo zote hizi nitazipanga mpaka wakome
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv. Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again." The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?" The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
Click to expand...


hahahahaahah
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?

Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "Jamii Forums". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"

Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",

We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"

Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"
Click to expand...

.... Ambaye hakucheka, basi mnafiki... Hah hah hah
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!’ The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit and a diamond rolex steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $5,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You fu#k her again'.
Click to expand...

....huyo baba atakuwa na asili ya kichagga!
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Basi pata na hii.....

This seem fair what do u think? Husband & his wife agreed dat anytym dey wnt 2 v sex, dey wil cal it 'Fone call' so dat d kids wil nt knw. 1day,d husband was horny & snt his son 2 tell his mother dat he wnts 2 make a fone call.Mother replied: Tell ur father,d network is bad 2day,father says: tel ur Mother dat if dere is no network @ home I wil go 2 d 'public fone' wife replies: tell ur father dat if he dares go to a ''Public fone'' den I wil open a call center
Click to expand...

dah hapo dogo haelewi lakini mzigo unaoongelewa hapo ni mkubwa kiiiinyama yani.... dah
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
A Girl posts an advertisement in newspaper for her Life-partner.

"Need a person who never leaves me,
never beats me
And
can satisfy me on bed"

Next day a guy with no arms and legs knocks at her door.

Girl: who are U?

Guy: I want to be ur husband.

Girl: U don't fit for that.

Guy: I don't have arms,
So i can't beat u.
I don't have legs,
so i can't leave u.

Girl: How can u satisfy me on bed ?

Guy:
How do u think i knocked the door..?
Click to expand...


dah ebwana hhiihihihihiiiiihihiiiihiiiihihihihihi ni kali kinyama dah
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?

Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "Jamii Forums". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"

Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",

We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"

Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"
Click to expand...

asee hii imekaa safi kweli yani
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?

Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "jamii forum". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"

Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",

We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"

Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"
Click to expand...

dah asee leta nyingine bannnnna
 
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