Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Kuolewa ni heshima?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by gracious mosha, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. g

    gracious mosha New Member

    #1
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 13, 2011
    Messages: 2
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Eti jamani, ni kweli kwamba kuolewa ni heshima........na kama kweli how and why?

    Kwa sababu siku hizi mabinti wanaolewa hata na wanaume wasiowapenda wakiitafuta hiyo 'heshima'
    Watu wamekuwa fake kwa mahusiano wakificha tabia zao halisi ili waolewe, baada ya hapo ndoa zinakuwa ndoano
    Watu tunawapenda wapenzi wetu kweli but wanafika mahali wanaogopa........utakuta mtu anasema asijekuwa anafake ili nimuoe...'aheshimike'
    Naumia kuona mtu anaacha mpenzi kwa sababu tu ya mapungufu madogo tuu, utakuta anachowaza ni kwamba mbona wanaotaka kuolewa ni wengi? so thi is not perfect, ngoja nitafute mwinginine?

    So hata kama ninajiheshimu, nikiwa sina ndoa......bado heshima haijakamilika

    Mbaya zaidi hili linahusishwa hata na wazazi, binti yako asipoolewa hujaheshimika.....

    Matokeo yake watu tunaanza kuwa desperate kuolewa....

    So huna ndoa huna heshima.....bora hata uolewe pasipo furaha ili tuu kusaka heshima.......

    Aktiokea tuu mwenye promise ya ndoa ndo anayefaa, hata kama yupo mwingine, but hayupo tayari for nw..

    Mimi jamani hili linaniconfuse.......ukikutana na mtu swali la kwanza ni bado hujaolewa? Why?
     
  2. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Aug 21, 2008
    Messages: 6,724
    Likes Received: 61
    Trophy Points: 145
    Kuolewa ni UTUMWA!
     
  3. rosemarie

    rosemarie JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Mar 22, 2011
    Messages: 6,679
    Likes Received: 277
    Trophy Points: 180
    wow!!!!
    kuolewa ilikuwa heshima zamani kwa sababu mama zetu waliandaliwa kuolewa zaidi,
    leo hii kuolewa na kutokuolewa mimi binafsi naona kama ngoma draw.
    sijaolewa lakini nina mtoto,tunaishi vizuri kwa raha mustarehe,sina mtu anayenipigia kelele kwa lolote
    kusema kweli sitaki kabisa kuolewa!!!mpaka mwisho wa maisha yangu
     
  4. Babuu blessed

    Babuu blessed JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Oct 14, 2010
    Messages: 1,240
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ndoa ndoano,lakini wewe mosha unapenda kuwa na ndoa au kuhishi kama mkimbizi hapa duniani!
     
  5. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Walio kwenye ndoa wanatamani kuchomoka.
    Ambao hawajaolewa au kuoa wanataka kuingia kwenye ndoa.
    Kwa ujumla ndoa ni heshina na inahitaji uangalifu mkubwa kuweza kuifurahia.
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Wengine wanasema ni BAHATI...wengine HESHIMA...baba Enock UTUMWA na yote ni kweli.

    Kuoa/kuolewa kwako kutagundulika kama ni chochote hapo juu pale utakapogundua kama ulichodhani ndicho ndicho kweli au sicho.Tatizo ni kwamba siku hizi wengi wanaoa na kuolewa hovyo tu bila malengo wala mipango...wakikutana na changamoto humo ndani kila mmoja anatafuta njia yake kwasababu hata kuingia hawakuingia kwa lengo moja.
     
  7. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Usije ukawa ndo nyumba yangu ndogo kwani mchango wako ni sawa na yale anayonieleza mpenzi wangu
    Ana mtoto mmoja,
    Anafanya kazi,
    Hapendi tuishi wote, ila nikimhitaji anakuja na mambo yanaendelea kama kawaida
     
  8. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Tunahesabu point
     
  9. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Dec 9, 2010
    Messages: 3,021
    Likes Received: 33
    Trophy Points: 145
    Kwa maisha ya sasa hivi nadhani kuoa ndio heshima!!!
    Angalia single mothers wanaongezeka daily na wengi ni kutokana na stress za ndoa mtu anaona bora kuishi mwenyewe.
    Sijaolewa nafurahia maisha japo vijineno vya kunisakama haviishi ila dada yangu wa kwanza aliolewa na wakapata watoto wawili lakini baadaye mambo yakawa magumu ikamlazimu kuondoka bila talaka.
    Analea watoto, yuko happy, mume akasogeza mke mwingine nae wakaachana wakiwa na mtoto mmoja.
    Nina mifano mingi ya kweli na ya karibu yangu kabisa.
    Kikubwa kupangilia maisha, kufanya kazi upate kipato halali na kama itatoke ukapata mtu mkapendana na kufikia kuoana pia ni vizuri lakini sio kitu cha kuumiza kichwa ndio matokeo yake kuokota ubavu usiofit!
    Ni mawazo yangu.
     
  10. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Una mpango wa kuolewa au utaendelea kuishi peke yako?
    Mdogo wangu umri unakwenda, utafika hatua utakuwa hautamaniki. Wachumba waweza fikiri labda ulishaolewa ukaachika. Tumia busara katika kuchagua maisha ya kuishi.
     
  11. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Dec 9, 2010
    Messages: 3,021
    Likes Received: 33
    Trophy Points: 145
    Nilikua najaribu kutafuta umri wako, huenda nimekuzidi sana.
    Ndipo busara yangu ilipoishia,ndoa ni matokeo tu kupata na kukosa yote heri!!!!
     
  12. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Sio rahisi hiyo, mi mkubwa mdogo wangu.
     
  13. Babuu blessed

    Babuu blessed JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Oct 14, 2010
    Messages: 1,240
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 135
    Kuolewa naona ndo heshima wanawake ndo wanasilika ya kupondana na kudharauliana na mwanamke asipoolewa uwa anaonekana ni mtu mwenye mikosi na asiye na bahati.
     
  14. Rejao

    Rejao JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: May 4, 2010
    Messages: 9,223
    Likes Received: 146
    Trophy Points: 160
    All in all... hata tuseme vp, kuna heshima fulani mwanamke akiolewa, tena inanoga zaidi akiolewa kwa harusi! Wazazi huwa wanafarijika sana
     
  15. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Asiolewe kwa ajili ya kuwafurahisha wazazi.
     
  16. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #16
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
    Messages: 16,200
    Likes Received: 156
    Trophy Points: 160
    Kuolewa kuitwa heshima au kutokua heshima ni mtu binafsi mwenyewe anavyo fafanua...

    Kitu cha msingi labda tuangalie kua jamii inamchukkulia vipi dada/mama ambae hajaolewa...

    Yule ambae hajaolewa... na kawahi olewa huishi kwa amani zaidi katika maisha yake, sijui
    ni kwanini ila wataona kua' kua divorced/widowed/telekezwa at least inam paint kua
    anafaa na kawahi kua wife wa mtu...

    Yule ambae hajaolewa kabisa ni shida saaana jamii kumchukulia positively hasa kama
    umri umeenda saana, hata kama yeye personally hataki maisha ya ndoa (ambao ki ukweli
    ni rare...) wataishia kumzushia alikua anachagua saana wachumba sasa kakosa wote,
    au alikua mhuni saana, au kua sio wife material na maneno kibao... yeye anaweza asisikie
    but ukweli ni kua majority inamchukulia hivyo...

    Kwa kujibu kutumia jamii yetu ya Tanzania hii... kuolewa ni heshima mbele ya macho
    ya jamii, na huheshimiwa kuliko yule ambae hajaolewa... tuache haya mambo ya mjini
    na kuangalia jamii kama jamii yetu ya TZ... Hivyo bora hata uolewe uachike kuliko kutoolewa kabisa.
    Number ya wadada wanokataa kua kuolewa sio heshima unakuta mara nyingi ni wale
    walisha olewa alafu mwanaume akawa hafai... au bado she is young... au kweli
    ni mkubwa lakini karidhika na maisha yake ingawa lazima kuna pressure from
    family na jamii hapa na pale..
     
  17. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #17
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
    Messages: 10,479
    Likes Received: 57
    Trophy Points: 145
    Its a social constructed thing ..........so it depend on which society you are coming/living in. Kama unaishi kwenye jamii inayoamini katika ndoa kama ilivyo kwa jamii nyingi za kiAfrica, kuolewa ni heshima ndio kwa sababu kuna miundombinu yote inayosupport uheshima wa ndoa mfano
    1.Tamaduni (Culture) na elements zake i.e. Mila na desturi na hata dini ambazo ni sehemu ya tamaduni- kusupport dhana ya familia ijengwe na wanandoa!- the whole aidia ya kulaani mimba nje ya ndoa, watoto nje ya ndoa ni mwendelezo wa support kwa kuwa mwanandoa. Katika jamii ya aina hii utaonekana huna heshi,ma iwapo utapata mtoto nje ya ndoa, utatoka/acha/achika ndani ya ndoa hata kama umekabwa hadi kooni na ndoa hiyo......ndoa ni heshima.
    Vitu vingine ambavyo vinafanyika kwa minajili ya kushereheka lakini vinabeba ujumbe wa kuolewa ni heshima ni pamoja na sherehe za vitchen party, send-offs/special nights and you name it na harusi .....hizi zote zinaandaliwa katika maudhui ya kumpongeza mwolewaji au mwoaji.

    Unisamehe kwa 'kusema' sana. Emotionally am not fit!
     
  18. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,738
    Likes Received: 1,320
    Trophy Points: 280
    Duh! point zako zilikuwa nzuri lakini hapo mwisho umenichanganya.
     
  19. First Born

    First Born JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 11, 2011
    Messages: 5,267
    Likes Received: 33
    Trophy Points: 145
    sanaaaa!!!
     
  20. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #20
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
    Messages: 16,200
    Likes Received: 156
    Trophy Points: 160

    ha ha ha... sina maana kua napenda watu waachike, ila thats the reality
    watu wanaachana saana sasa hivyo narudi bora alie wahi olewa akaachika
    kuliko yule ambae hajaolewa kabisa alafu ni mtu mzima...
     
Loading...