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Kitu gani hatari uliwahi kwepa kijanja?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Oct 26, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Dah nakumbuka nilipokuwa mtoto hvi nilikuwa mtundu kimtindo,siku moja mbwa anakatiza mtaani,nikaanza kumfukuza,akisimama na mimi nasimama,akianza kutembea na mimi namfuata,mbwa alipoona namfuatilia sana akageuka na kunikimbiza huku amekenua meno.dah niliogopa yaani moyo ulidunda haraka...nikajisahau nikaanza kumsemehesha huku nakimbilia juu ya mti...''oya acha basi mtu wangu,acha hizo nakutania tu'''kama siyo kupanda juu ya mti leo ningekuwa na jeraha.


    Lingine nilienda kwa babu ,pale jirani kwa babu walikuwa wanafunga kondoo,kumbe watoto wa jirani wamefundisha kondoo dume wao kupiga watu kwa kichwa,kwahiyo ukijisahau ukasimama hivyo unakuta kondoo anasogea kinyume nyume hatua kama 15 hivi halafu anakutifua kwa kichwa,akikupata anaweza akakuvunja kiuno au miguu.
    Sasa siku moja niliona kama kondoo wamelala halafu nikajisahau,kumbe kondoo akaamka taratibu nakuanza kusogea nyuma,akaja kwa speed ile kushtuka naona ameshakaribia,nilichofanya ile karibia ananipiga kichwa mi nikaruka juu na kuachia msamba ye akapiga hewa mpaka akaangua mwenyewe..

    Je ni hatari gani au mchezo gani mbaya ulipokuwa mtoto unakumbuka?
     
  2. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 26, 2011
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    ... tembea uone! Bila JF watu kama nyinyi ningewakuta wapi tena?
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Russina,Dah hata mi sijui ningekukuta wapi .
     
  4. chapaa

    chapaa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 26, 2011
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    hapo kwenye msamba cpati picha
     
  5. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #5
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Ahahahahaaah!! Excellent kwa sound.
     
  6. mojoki

    mojoki JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 26, 2011
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    huo msemo wa acha basi mtu wangu ulikwepo wakati u mdogo?...au una miaka 8?
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 26, 2011
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    hapo nilikuwa kama miaka 13-15 mkuu
     
  8. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 26, 2011
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    sasa we unadhani mi nakupiga sound
     
  9. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 26, 2011
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  10. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Kweli JF ni kila kitu mazee.
     
  11. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Mi sitasahau siku moja nilimpora mama paka mtoto wake na kukimbia naye.Yule aliniandama huku akifura kwa hasira.Nilipoona hali ni tete nikaamua kumrushia katoto kake lakini yule paka hakujali,akaendelea kuniandama.Alipozidi kunikaribia nikasimama nikamwambia;'mtoto wako yule pale!.Cha ajabu baada ya kumwambia maneno haya,yule paka aliacha kunikimbiza,akarudi zake.
     
  12. Slave

    Slave JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 26, 2011
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    hapo ungesikia anakuambia. We kijana usijerudia tena kawa babaishe binadamu wenzako si mimi. Next time nitakutia adabu. Alaaa!
     
  13. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 26, 2011
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    teh teh teh hiyo kali mkuu,mi hata ishanikuta kwa kuku na vifaranga
     
  14. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 26, 2011
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    Excellent ulivyotaja msamba umenikumbusha muvi za Bruce lee enzi zile, wee ni noma babake!
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 26, 2011
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    mkuu kwenye hatari lazima uwe na mbinu mbadala
     
  16. Vinci

    Vinci JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 26, 2011
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    hahahaha....mkuu hii ni ya kweli au umetupiga fix....ulivyokuwa mdogo kweli ulikuwa mtundu sana inaonekana
     
  17. M

    Mnyalu wa Kweli JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 27, 2011
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    Nakumbuka siku moja mwaka 1985 nikiwa darasa la nne nilienda shambani kuchunga ng'ombe na mjomba wangu. Wakati huo huyo mjomba wangu alikuwa darasa la tano. Katika kundi lile la ng'ombe alikuwapo ng'ombe jike aliyekuwa na ndama wa kama mwezi mmoja hivi. Basi siku hiyo katika harakati za kuchunga ng'ombe hao tukajisahau wakaingia katika shamba la mahindi. Katika purukushani za kuwatoa katika shamba hilo mimi nikajisahau na kwenda kumshika yule ndama aliyekuwa busy akirukaruka kwenye mahindi. Du! kufumba na kufumbua nilishitukia nimepigwa kichwa na yule jike( mama ng'ombe) kisha akanivuruga pale chini huku akinitemea kamasi zake. Yule Uncle kugeuka kunitama akakuta nipo chini navurguwa na yule ng'ombe kisha akaja kumtandika fimbo za mianzi( kwa wale wanaotoka Iringa wananielewa) na kuniachia. Hadi hivi leo nina makovu kibao miguuni. Ng'ombe wa kienyeji aliye na ndama na hasa kichanga, basi muogope!
     
  18. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Mkuu hivi ushawahi kuchukua kifaranga cha kuku halafu akakuletea soo?dah hapo ndo mtihani
     
  19. E

    Elizabeth Dominic Platinum Member

    #19
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Mi nakumbuka mimi na genge la watoto wenzangu tulipata kumliza mtu mzima. Ilikuwa hivi. Huyu jamaa akiitwa Mselem alikuwa mlinzi wa mzungu hasa kila akipita jioni kuelekea lindoni alikuwa akimkuta sis wetu anamtongoza, sister anamtolea nje jamaa haelewi mwisho dada akajenga chuki kwa jamaa na sie madogo tukawa hatummaind. Tukaunda kikundi chetu cha ngoma kila akipita tunaanza imba tukigeuza jina lake kidogo "mselenge yulee, mselenge yulee, mselenge yule yule" yani tukimaanisha Mselem ni m**nge, madogo tulikuwa waungwana tulipunguza makali kidogo. Hali hiyo ya kumfanyia visa iliendelea na kuwa kama project fulani mara leo tunamzome, kumghasi hali mradi tu. Jamaa alikuwa anakwazika lakini hakujua atufanye sababu tulikuwa watoto. Hasa showdown ilikuwa kuvamia lindo lake, tulitayarisha vipeperushi vingi (homemade) tukaandika maneno ya maudhi tukasambaza mtaa mzima mengine tukatupia ndani ya geti lake huku tukiimba na kufanya maudhi mbalimbali, jamaa uzalendo ukamshinda akatukimbiza atudunde, tukakimbilia nyumbani tukajifungia akasema kwa lafudhi ya kilugha "siondoki hadi baba yenu arudi" akapiga kambi getini kwetu. Sie tukawa tunamlia chabo, alikaa kweli maana wakati huo mama alikuwa hayupo. Mida ya usiku wa manane baba akaingizana sie kusikia gari tukajisogeza hadi getini maana muda wote kulikuwa na sintofahamu fulani, jamaa akamtaim mdingi akaanza kumwaga malalamiko, kusema kweli tulikuwa tunamharibia kibarua chake, mdingi hapo ashatoka kupombeka akaanza kumshushua jamaa "bloody fool kabisa, yani unababaishwa na vitoto, fankulo madonna" huyo akaenda zake kulala, wala hakutukaripia RIP baba. Jamaa asiangue kilio nini, maskini hakukaa sana akaondoka.
     
  20. Lord K

    Lord K JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Umeonaee!! Nomaaa
     
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