Just a friend na matatizo yake.....

The Boss said:
best friend without the benefits lol
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The benefits of friendship lie withing the friendship itself. Ukianza kwenda beyond the friendship then you risk losing them.
Ikiwa both friends watakumbuka hivi all will be fine.
Hapo juu umetaja wivu, mapenzi, sex na kadhalika kama matatizo. I think wivu ndio tatizo. Mapenzi na sex sio tatizo, so long as they don't kill the friendship.
 
RussianRoulette said:
The benefits of friendship lie withing the friendship itself. Ukianza kwenda beyond the friendship then you risk losing them.
Ikiwa both friends watakumbuka hivi all will be fine.
Hapo juu umetaja wivu, mapenzi, sex na kadhalika kama matatizo. I think wivu ndio tatizo. Mapenzi na sex sio tatizo, so long as they don't kill the friendship.
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in that case hakuna tatizo
if wote mnajua hii
 
RussianRoulette said:
The benefits of friendship lie withing the friendship itself. Ukianza kwenda beyond the friendship then you risk losing them.
Ikiwa both friends watakumbuka hivi all will be fine.
Hapo juu umetaja wivu, mapenzi, sex na kadhalika kama matatizo. I think wivu ndio tatizo. Mapenzi na sex sio tatizo, so long as they don't kill the friendship.
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Really?? Is this realistic RR? :nerd:
 
RussianRoulette said:
If they are best friends as you say, they will make sure they communicate on this before hand.


Michelle, mbona wapenzi wengi ni best friends? Na ndio inatakiwa kwanza...
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Nafikiri sikuwa nimeelewa, nilidhani umesema mtu aweza kuwa na commitment,then aka-maintain friend with benefits na mwanamke ambaye ni rafiki yake as long as huyo mwanamke au mwanaume hana wivu....hilo ndo nimeona kama ni gumu sana especially kwetu wanawake japo survival ya nyumba ndogo inazidi kukua,that meaning watu wanakubaliana na vigezo na masharti za infi....!
 
Michelle said:
Nafikiri sikuwa nimeelewa, nilidhani umesema mtu aweza kuwa na commitment,then aka-maintain friend with benefits na mwanamke ambaye ni rafiki yake as long as huyo mwanamke au mwanaume hana wivu....hilo ndo nimeona kama ni gumu sana especially kwetu wanawake japo survival ya nyumba ndogo inazidi kukua,that meaning watu wanakubaliana na vigezo na masharti za infi....!
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Kwani hili swali la The Boss lina husu friendship between watu wenye commitments zingine? sorry, sijasoma vizuri huko nyuma...
 
RussianRoulette said:
Kwani hili swali la The Boss lina husu friendship between watu wenye commitments zingine? sorry, sijasoma vizuri huko nyuma...
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Vilijadiliwa vitu tofauti tofauti, kwa topic ya The Boss yeye nafikiri ana focus kwenye friends kama friends,lakini siwezi elewa unamuonea vipi wivu rafiki wako wa jinsia ya tofauti asiye na uhusiano wa kimapenzi na wewe bila ya yeye kuwa na uhusiano na mtu mwingine!! As kama yuko single na wewe uko available then ni suala tu la mmoja kuanza kuonyesha interest,akubaliwe au akataliwe....but sioni sababu ya kuona wivu.
 
Michelle said:
Vilijadiliwa vitu tofauti tofauti, kwa topic ya The Boss yeye nafikiri ana focus kwenye friends kama friends,lakini siwezi elewa unamuonea vipi wivu rafiki wako wa jinsia ya tofauti asiye na uhusiano wa kimapenzi na wewe bila ya yeye kuwa na uhusiano na mtu mwingine!! As kama yuko single na wewe uko available then ni suala tu la mmoja kuanza kuonyesha interest,akubaliwe au akataliwe....but sioni sababu ya kuona wivu.
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Hapo tunakubaliana. Ndio maana nimesema ikiwa wivu unaingia kati hapo ni shida, ila kama ni mapenzi au sex vimeingia kati sioni shida. Na urafiki bila wivu upo sana tu, hasa kama hamjaanza/mmevuka vya mapenzi na sex.
 
The Boss said:
tunzangumzia best friends bila kujali wako kwenye commitments or not
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Ukisha kua na commitment make sure your partner is your best friend. Ukienda kutafuta mngine huko then don't get too close if you want to be 'just friends'.
 
The Boss, I saw this graph that helps to analyze friendship and I thought it was relevant:
403205_232149196873003_162594613828462_497057_1381283516_n.jpg


  1. Marafiki wakianza kuona matatizo ya friendship ina maana they are no longer in the same sphere.
  2. yule anaetaka sex but not love anadhani they are "friend with benefit" wakati mwenzake ana taka love with no sex (be my best friend, just friends) anaona 'it's complicated'.
  3. Kama ni marafiki wa kweli they need to sort this out : wako wapi in this diagram, na wanataka kua wapi going forward. once that is clear, they define boundaries together and stick to them.
  4. If one of them has other commitments (or both) the relation should not leave the yellow circle.
  5. Most men will prefer a combination of pink and yellow when most women will prefer the blue and yellow one.
  6. Ndoa nyingi ninazo zijua ziko between blue and pink but ideally all love relations should be hapo kati.
 

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Husninyo said:
Wanaume wengi hawawezi hii. Wengine inabidi tu kupoteza marafiki sababu hiyo.
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Sio wanaume peke yao, wanawake wanachanganyikiwa pia. They wouldn't necessarily want to have sex ila they will develop feelings na possessiveness ya hali ya juu over their male friends.
 
very possible kuwa marafiki tu wa kawaida bila kuraise hisia zingine!
lakin wanaokuwa close saana uje wote wako available hao hamna aliye commited somewhere else, ivyo kwa wao kuanzisha mahusiano mengine ni rahisi.
 
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