lara 1
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 10, 2012
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- 29,116
Kwanza kabisa naomba uamini kuwa dreams do come true…. Yes unaweza ku end na yule unaemtaka wewe. Ila sasa tujaribu kuwa real kidogo kuwa chances za wewe kumnasa Brad Pitt and the like are close to zero…lol… So hata dreams zako basi ziwe na reality kidogo. Maana kama unadream kunmnasa BILL GATES chances are you will be disappointed.Hapa mie ntakupa hints za kumnasa mwanaume mwenye maisha mazuri, sio tajiiiriiii ila mwenye maisha mazuri, ten asana tu.
Ila kama you are lucky unaweza kumnasa BILL GATES wako kwa ushauri huu huu… Ila ndo hivyo tena mambo ya nyota. Hahahahhaha…
USHAURI WA KWANZA KABISA WA KUPATA MUME/BOYFRIEND UNAEMTAKA WEWE NI PRAYER…. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER…. SALI, LIA NA MUNGU NA ATAKULETEA YULE UNAEMTAKA, KAMA HATOKULETEA YULE UNAEMTAKA BASI ATAKULEEA YULE ANAEONA ANAKUFAA… MUNGU NI MWEMA NA SOMETIMES HUWA ANA NEGOTIATE. UKIONA ALIEKULETEA ANAKUFAA ILA SIO YULE UNAMTAKA PIA UNAWEZA KUMUOMBA KWA NJIA YA SALA AMTOE KWENYE MAISHA YAKO AKULETEE YULE UNAEMTAKA WEWE….LOL….
Haya ngoja tuanze. Kwanza kabisa ujue kwamba jinsi ulivyojiweka,marafiki ulionao, sehemu unapoishi ,sehemu unazopenda kutembelea ndio haswa vitu vinavyo ashiria utapata mume/boyfriend wa aina gani. Kama ujuavyo mara nyingi mwanaume unakutakana nae either kwa kuwa introduced by friends, au ukiwa outing, au harusini, au kazini. I think wengi wamekutana na watu wao through introductions za marafiki. Sasa kama marafiki zako woooooooote ni wachovu ujue kuwa yoyote watakae kuintroduce kwako chances are nae ni mchovu. Ila kama angalau pia unajua na watu wenye maisha mazuri siku wakiku introduce kwa mtu, chances are huyo mtu anazo. Au vipi??? Pia kama unaishi kwa mtogole what are the chances that utaolewa na mkaka wa masaki? angalau jisogeze uishi hata Victoria, au Mikocheni.
Imagine mwanaume amekupenda alikuona Hyatt kwenye brunch haya ikaja firstdate , anakwambia ntakuja kuku pick up nipe address. Ooh mie naishi kwa mtogole.. hahahaha Kaka wa watu alete benzi lake kwa mtogole…. hiyo ni goodbye!Tukija kwenye jinsi unavyoishi maisha yako, unapo hangout na unapoishi ntatumia mfano wangu mwenyewe. Nilipotuaga tu Dubai nilikuwa nakaa uswekeni panaitwa Deira. Tena kwenye apartment ya kushare watu kama 10. Kumbuka nilikuwa nimeenda kwenye interview hata kazi bado nilikuwa sijapata. Ila nilikuwa mjanja siku quit kabisa kazi yangu Stanbic Bank. Nilichofanya ni kuwaambiwa kuwa nahitaji kusafiri for a few days only ili kama kikinuka Dubai nirudi zangu kazini fastaaa….lol….. Bahati nzuri nikapata kazi a week later. Ila kumbuka bado nilikuwa nakaa uswekeni a.k.a Deira. Yani nilikuwa nadata hao wanaume naokutana nao nikisema hata niende dukani. Kiruuu yani ni wanaigeria tuuuuuuuu, ‘HOW ARE YOU MY SISTER", WHAT'S YOUR NAME MY SISTER" .
Sasa hiyo reaction yangu mngecheka mpaka mkae chini, jamani nilikuwa nanunaaaaa utasema huyo kaka aliwahi kunikosea kumbe ni kwamba tu nna hasira nasalimiwa na wachovu tu kutwa nzima. Basi nikisema nimuulize unafanya kazi gani Dubai, wote jibu ni lile lile " I'M IN CARGO BUSINESS" Yani wanaigeria woooote wa Deira ni "CARGO BUSINESS""… Yani mtu alikuwa akinijibu cargo business basi navyobadilika sura na kuwa mkali ghafla utasema nna mood disorder…hahahahhaha Yani nilisema bora niwe single kuliko kudate huu uchafu… Ehh kwanza TZ nimeacha better guys alafu nije Dubai kukimbizana na hawa ma cargo business wa kinigeria , I'm sole chief…..Ila umeona tatizo liko wapi??? Tatizo sio hao wanaigeria wala maskini ya Mungu? Tatizo ni langu mimi. Why am I putting myself in a position where these kind of guys can even have access to me??? So tatizo ni kwamba nilikuwa naishi in the wrong area. Huyo dream guy wangu ningempatia Deira kweli? Hapo Baba Kenzo anaishi Dubai Marina ukumbuke eeh? Mie niko Deira what are the chances our paths will ever cross? None. Haya angalia upande mwingine humo kwenye apartment naishia na wadada wa kiwest Africa, wengine wana vikazi vya ofisini wengine nilihisi ni machangu though sikuwahi kuwaona na wanaume pale sababu ilikuwa marufuku kuleta mwanaume kwenye ile apartment.
Sasa kumbuka hao ndo shoga zangu wa Dubai. What are he chances kuwa through them ningemeet mwanaume wa maana? NONE right???Yani niliishia kula vyakula vya kinigeria kutwaaa. Ila mpare nilikuwa nimeweka akili kumkichwa nasubiri tu nipokee mshahara wa kwanza nifanye mambo…. Hahahahahhaha…. Basi nilivyopokea tu mshahara wa kwanza nikahama DEIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…… Guess nilihamia wapi?? nilihamia JUMEIRAH BEACH, one of the poshiest neighborhoods in DUBAI. Only rich people live there.
Yani hata ukitoka nje kwako magari ya barabarani yanayopita unaweza kushiba kwa kuyaangalia tu, maana ni noma. Tena nikitoka nje kwangu naona Burj Al Arab ile paleeeee….. Aisee Im not joking… Sasa je how did I afford to live where the millionares live? Nilipata sharing housing…. Yes, dubai kuna nyumba za kushare. Basi tulichukua mansion la vyumba 12 on JUMERAH BEACH ROAD. Kila chumba mnakaa 2 girls. Yes I had a room mate ,omg I loved that girl, Alikuwa anaitwa Sanaa mmorocco. So why go through all that? Well first of all I knew mwanaume yoyote ntakaekutana nae maeneo ya nyumbani kwangu akanipa hie he wont be a loser…lol… Sasa basi how much was this life style costing me? Well, let just say 80% of my mshahara was going into accommodation,yes hiko kichumba tu ,tena cha kushare na mtu, just because kiko in a mansion in Jumerah Beach. 20% into kupanda mabasi kwenda kazini, kula chakula, na kuvaa vigauni vya forever 21.Yani nilikuwa sisevu hata shingi moja.
Ila haikunipa shida coz I knew what I wanted…. Yes nilikuwa napanda basi kwenda kazini maana sikuwa na gari nilivyofika. Na mabasi ya wenzetu sio kama bongo kugombania na kulowa jasho. Kule full kipupwe tena hata bus stop mnasimama kwenye kibanda kina AC ndo msubiri basi. So although nilikuwa namaliza pesa zote kulipia hiyo room inside that mansion ila sasa viwanja vyoooooote vya maana vilikuwa ni either walking distance au ni taxi ride ya pesa ndogo sana . Wakati nipo Deira nilikuwa siwazi hata kwenda hivi viwanja manaa sina gari nikiwaza hiyo pesa ya taxi ya kwenda huko na kurudi ni balaaa. Either sasa nimchekee mnaigeria ani drive huko viwanja vya maana ila sasa ndo nikifika huko anigande, hahahahhaha nkawa naona bora nilale ndani tu na niwe single kuliko kuwa na mtu asie na msaada kwangu….
The mansion we were renting on Jumeraih Beach Road…… Invest in your future ladies…lol
Basi nilivyohamia Jumerah Beach ndo nikaanza ku enjoy Dubai life,, yani kwanza nikitoka nje kwangu tu yale magari yanayopita Jumeirah beach road mie mwenywe tu najihisi nisha make it… ahahhahahahaha…… Alafu kule black skin unahesabu, nkasema hapa kweli lazma nipate my mzungu mume…. Hahahaha…Basi kila siku nikawa ni outing, sehemu za maana tu. No low class clubs and bars, nope…. My room mate nae alikuwa single lady. Yeye alikuwa anafanya kazi another company,mie nilikuwa Barclays nilikuwa ki banking officer tu nothing much but it paid the bills. Ndo tulikuwa tunatoka outing wote…. She eventually married a local guy kama mke wa pili. Ila huyu kutoka nae ilikuwa shida kweli maana yeye alikuwa anataka twende kwenye shisha tuuu maana huko ndo kwenye arab guys…hahahahahaUkiwa single and want to meet someone. Hang out kwenye viwanja unavyodhani utakutana na mtu unaemtaka wewe. Na isiwe unaenda mara moja kwa mwezi alafu siku zingine unaenda kwenye viwanja vyako vya uswekeni.
NOPE.Change your lifestyle completely. Acha kwenda ushuzini. Nenda huko viwanja vya wenye pesa kila unapotoka. Yani hayo ndo yawe maisha yako. Hapo kweli utakuwa na chance ya kukutana na mtu….. Hata kama you cant afford them we nenda. Kanunue fanta orange yako moja unailamba lamba the whole night. Ila sasa sio upewe offer uagize bia. Nope . Be classy. Hata ukipewa offer endelea kunywa fanta yako. Also achana na night clubs. Very few hardworking men with good money go clubbing. They work too hard during the day to have any energy to go clubbing. Go to lunch, brunch, dinner bila kusahau Lounges and very classy upscale bars. Achana na clubbing.
Kuhusu kwenda wrong places, ndo maana watz wengi walioko nje lazma waolewe na watz wenzao au na wanaume wasio na kitu sababu ya hangout, mtu uko ulaya/marekani ila kutwa kufatana matakoni na watz wenzako hivi utapata mwanaume mwingine zaidi ya mwanaume wa kitz? akitoka outing basi ni kwenye function za wabongo tu, sijui harusi, sijui Khadija Kopa kaja, sijui Mzee Yusuf kaja, akienda club basi ni club za watz au akiwa na class basi ni aende club za wanaigeria…hahahha…Hivi huko utakutana na mwanaume wa maana kweli? sana sana ukutane na likaka halina hata papers na kazi za kubeba box na bado linakucheat. maana huku wadada kwa kuchukuliana mabwana ndo maisha yao. Sasa hao wanaume wenyewe wanaowaendesha ni kituko tu maana shingi tano hawana.lol…Kitu kingine ni kwamba NEVER GO OUT BY YOURSELF,NEVER EVER. Only prostitutes go out on their own and seat at the bar all alone. Yani ukishaenda out peke yako unaonekana changu tu hata kama sio changu. So utakuwa approached na mwanaume ambae anataka kukulala tu akupe vijihela asepe zake.
And that's not what you want. You want to meet someone ambae atakuja kuwa mumeo so jiweke kiheshima. Na mnapokuwa out sio mue macho juu, mnapepesa macho kutizama watu. Mtastukiwa fasta…. Relax, enjoy yourself, yani muonekanae mko pale ku enjoy sio kutafuta mume. Hahahahahhahahahahahahha….Okay, so back to my story. Basi katika toka toka zangu zile za viwanja vya maana, one day nikawa introduced to the HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR OF DUBAI WORLD. Yes Dubai world, which is the biggest company in UAE. Chezea mpare hapo hapo nikachomeka kuwa natafuta another job coz the current one siipendi. Uwiii 2 weeks later I was working at Limitless – which is one of Dubai World's subsidiaries and guess who else was working as a consultant at Limitless??? Baba Kenzo…… Ila hatukukutana ofisini ingawa tulikuwa tunafanya kazi hapo hapo….
Kulikuwa na another employee wa hapo hapo Limitess, a very very big boss ambae pia alikuwa married akawa na kaji crush na mie, ila sikuwa interested at all maana mie at that time nilikuwa natafuta mtu serious na sio mume wa mtu wa kunipotezea muda wangu. Ningekuwa natafuta buzi labda ,ila nilikuwa nataka mtu serious. So familia yake ikawa imeenda Australia for X'MAS yeye akawa kabaki Dubai , akaniaomba niende nae out for drinks on new yr's Eve. Nikamwmabia the only way I will go is if aalike wanaume wengine na mie nialike other girls ila just 2 of us hapana….Akasema poa. You know why nilimwambia afanye hivyo? maana the guys alikuwa one of the big kahuna's wa Dubai World ,obviously marafiki zake watakuwa wakaka wenye maisha yao mazuri. So guess who he brought ????? he brought Baba Kenzo and his cousin sister na mie nikaenda na rafiki yangu. Basi mie na baba Kenzo we hit it off hapo hapo and the rest is history…. Huyo baba anamtaniaga Lance mpaka leo ,anasemaga wewe nimekualika ukanisindikize mimi alafu umefika ukanipiku… hahahahahhaha….
What I wore the very first time I saw Baba KENZO.
The very first time, I met baba Kenzo…. DEC 31 2007. Baba Kenzo and were so sad Burton alivyoshindwa kuja kwenye harusi yetu sababu yeye ndo alietu introduce. Baada ya kumwambia asije mwenywe aje na friends na mie nije na friends basi akaniletea baba Kenzo
So that's thats where i learnt kuwa baba KENZO nae alikuwa hapo hapo ofisini kwetu. The company was too big , theres no way unaweza kumjua kila mtu. Ila kila mwanamke single alikuwa anawavizia sana maconsultant wa kimarekani na ki British coz walikuwa wanakula bara refu maana mwarabu anavyomwabudu mzungu. Yani waarabu wa Dubai jamani sikuwaelewa wanaowana wazungu kama Mungu.. Yani walikuwa wanaishi kama kings……So what can be learnt here? Hang out sehemu za maana tuuu au sehemu ambazo unajua wana hang out wanaume unaowataka wewe.
Hata kama hutopaa boyfriend/mume hapo u will meet wenye nazo ambao mtajenga urafiki na watakusaidia sana hata kama sio kipesa. Kama mie huyo Director wa HR nilie mmeet. Yani wala hakuwa na interest yoyote ya kimapenzi na mimi and vice versa maana alikuwa na familia yake Ila ndo tukawa marafiki na akanisaidia kupata bonge la kazi. Yani mshahara wangu ulikuwa tripled na huko huko nikapata mume. So its NOT all about kupata mwanaume ila pia kuwa friends na watu wa maana watakaoweza kukusaidia au kuku introduce kwa watu wa maana kama wao……Anothet tip nawapeni ni kwamba achenI kuomba hela. Hata kama wewe ni maskini una matatizo usiombe pesa.
Nothing drives away a man faster than mwanamke anaeomba pesa from the get go. When I met baba Kenzo nilikuwa nalipa bill half half mpaka siku nilipochoka na kumwambia nimeshindwa biashara ya half half. Mtu analipwa mshahara mara 20 ya mashahara wangu na bado nalipishwa half half… Ila sikufanya fastaa , hapana nilisubiria kasha fall deep in love ndo nikaanza kuonyesha uafrica wangu wa kukataa kulipishwa vitu nakutaka kuwa spoiled…. Hahahahahhahahaha… So uwe na subra ,especially na wanaume wa kizungu hawajui kuhonga ila they can learn. Hahahahha… MFUNDISHE TARATIBU Ila sio date ya kwanza tu unaanza oooh mdogo wangu anahitaji school fees, mama anaumwa figo inahitajika pesa ya hospital, hutomwona.
Mwache kwanza anogewe na wewe ndo uonyeshe jinsi ulivyo omba omba…… Ila baba Kenzo alinitesa mwanzoni jamani. Mtu ananipeleka expensive dinners alafu napewa bill yangu. Yani diet ilizidi mara kumi ,full kula starter tu alafu najifanya nimeshiba. Ahhahahaha, alivyoanza kulipa bill nzima nilianzaje kuorder ma rib eye steak ???? hahahahahhaha……..Another tip ni kwamba harusini pia watu wengi huwa wana meet watu. So jaribu kwenda kwenye harusi za maana…hahahahha. HARUSINI watu wengi huwa wako kwenye mood ya mapenzi hata wanaume nao. Ila sio uende wedding za uswekeni nenda za maana…….Kuhusu kuvaa, vaa vizuri. Decent man want decent looking women. Sio utoke out mtu hawezi kutofautisha kati yako wewe na changu. Lazma mwanaume akuangalie na ajue Yule pale nae mfata sio changu. First impressions matter. That being said ,it doesn't mean utoke looking like your mom.
HAPANA. All men love sexy women, na looks ndo huwa zinavutia wanaume. So vaa nguo zinazoonyesha uzuri wako, look sexy. A little bit of cleavage sio mbaya. Nachosema ni kwamba usiwe nusu uchi na pia usivae kama unaenda kanisani. Yani tafuta balance hapo kati kati…….Ukiacha hiyo njia ya kukutana na mtu face to face.
The easiest way to have a million dates without looking like a ----- au without kumaliza viwanja vyote mjini ni online dating… Trust me so many people now meet others online. Yani najuana na watu kibaooooo who have met their hubbies online. Tena kwa wale mnaotaka wazungu this is the 100% sure way kuwa utapata mzungu. Yani hii nia haina longo longo. Hapa lazma umnase mzungu ila sasa inabidi uwe makini upate mwenye maisha mazuri. Maana wengine waongo atakwambia ana hiki na kile, akutoe Tanzania ufike maulaya umkute kwenye welfare. Au wengine wauwaji anataka akuoe ili akukatie life insurance akuue achukue mamilioni yake….. Ofcourse sijawahi kusikia mtu aliepatwa na kitu kama hiko ila ni katika kuchukua tahadhari tu.
Never ever use free dating websites. All weirdos wako huko. Utakutana na uchafu wooote kwenye free websites. Ili uwe successful be as honest as you can be. Sio uweke picha yako ya miaka 50 iliyopita wakati una 50kgs alafu siku mtu anakuona live una kilo 100. Atakukimbia. Weka picha zinazoonyesha jinsi ulivyo kiuhalisi. Picha 5 hivi ndo zinatosha.Tumia jina feki tu kwenye website. Baadae utampa jina lako la kweli. Uwiii utakutana na wanaume elfu 5 kidogo ila sasa kuchagua kati ya hao elfu 5 yupo bora ndo kasheshe… Alafu sasa huwezi amini wanaume wenye kazi za maana na pesa za maana ndo wanatumia sana hizi dating website sababu hawana muda wa kwenda out kumeet watu na kudate.
Na wengi tu wanataka ku meet mtu serious asettle down sababu yuko very busy hana time ya kupoteza kudate wanawake 500. The website ambayo karibia kila mtu anapata success ni Match.com® | The Leading Online Dating Site for Singles & Personals . Hii site ni expensive kidogo ila its worth every penny. Yani unaweza hata jifungia ndani usitoke ili uwe unachat tuuu….lol.. Unaweza kusaka wanaume wa nchi zote Duniani. Ina cost $40 per month. Sio mbaya kama una invest kwenye future yako. Kuna mtu namjua alikutana na millionare kwenye hii website.
Anyways kwa vile mpare napenda pesa ntawasaidia wale ambao hawana credit card . Ina cost $40 per month mie ntaku charge $60 per month kwa matumizi ya credit card yangu. Kila mwisho wa mwezi unanikumbusha unanipa password na username yako naingia nakufanyia payment unaendelea kuhunt….hahahhaNikiwapateni watu 100 tu uwiii naingiza kidola $2,000 kila mwezi kwa raha zangu….hahahahhaha…….. Kuna cheaper dating websites ila hi indo the best in the whole world…. Yani ndani ya 6 months kama hujapata mchumba basi shoga una gundu ukamuone Shekhe Yahya tu akuoshe nyota…..lol……Kama huna credit card na unataka nnikusaidie kulipa kila mwezi kwa card yangu nicheki kwa whatsapp +1 305 498 3696. Au email mangekimambi@hotmail.com. Naweza kuchelewa kidogo kujibu maana nna ma meseji mpaka basi ila ntajibu soon as I can.Last tip ukipata mtu mkapendana ,akaja
TZ kukuona mkapendana hata zaidi mkaamua uhamie alipo. Instead of processing a fiance Visa au sijui aje TZ akuoe then uombe spouse visa omba kwanza visit visa. Jifanye unataka uende tembea tu alafu ukifika huko ndo unawachenjia kibao kuwa hurudi unataka visa ya mke. Maana hizi spouse visa kwa relationship za online uwiii utawekwa TZ hata 2 yrs unasubiria visa mpaka mwisho jamaa achange his mind bure.Lol. So try other visa's kabla ya hizo za uhamiaji…. Mie nilikuwa nna ndoa ya 3 yrs na mtoto juu na bado nilikalishwa tz 8 months kusubiria visa mpaka Kenzo akaanza kumsahau babake. Na hapo watu waliniambia nimeipata mapema. Sasa wewe wa kukutana na jamaa online utapiga 2 yrs bongo kusubiria visa.PS:
Uwiii jamani hii article mbona ntawakoma haters sasa??? hahahahhaha ntasemwajwe nawafundisha kugold dig…..hahahah…. Ntatukanwaaaaa uwiiiiiiii….hahahhahaha
Source:http://3.bp.blogspot.com
