Babylon
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 5, 2009
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Jesus in Ikea -- The top 10 sightings of the son of God
He's got a habit of turning up in funny places, Jesus Christ. Whether it is a side-effect of omnipotence or people projecting an unconscious desire to attribute meaning to our potentially pointless existence - Jesus' mug is forever showing up in stuff.
Most recently, in the wood pattern of a toilet door of an Ikea in Glasgow (see left). They say he works in mysterious ways, but a toilet door in Ikea? Well, if you are there Jesus, you do probably know best.
In honour of Mr Christ here are our Top 10 sightings of the son-of-god, after the jump.
10. Jesus in a tree. One of his lesser-appreciated skills, it is a fact (by which we mean it's definitely not a fact) that Jesus was the Judea Tree Climbing champion from 22BC to 28BC, but James I cut that bit out of his translation of the bible for fear that the peasantry would take to the trees...again. So maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise when Sewdutt Maunick found the face of Christ in a tree. He told the BBC: "Something was actually urging me to come to this end of the garden because we never actually sit here." Sewdutt wasn't sure though and called in Pastor, Elaine Thomas, who confirmed it was indeed Jesus: "I think that often we are in the right place at the right time. It's touched my heart and it's done something for me."
9. Jesus in a meteorite. The face of Jesus appeared in a meteorite which broke in two after smashing into eastern Russia in 1916. A keen-eyed scientist spotted a likeness between the meteorite and the shroud of Turin. This lead to speculation, admittedly only by us, that Jesus and Superman might be one and the same.
8. Jesus in yeast extract spread. Of all the yeast extract spreads in all the world, you had to turn up in mine - is what mum-of-two Claire Allen should have said when she flipped the lid of her Marmite to reveal the beefy countenance of our saviour, Jesus Christ. "I just looked at it and immediately thought, 'That's Jesus Christ'," said Claire. However we think it looks more like this dude.
7. Jesus in a bottle. Jesus appears in the foil wrapper around a bottle of cider. It would seem that he, son-of-God is short of things to do. Why not get a hobby Jesus? Crocheting? Free-running? Stopping all the pain and suffering in the world? Just a thought.
6. Jesus in Dutchman's biscuit. Many a Dutchman has had an otherworldly experience after chomping on a special biscuit but forget those pejorative stereotypes for one second because this was a KitKat chunky. Of all places, in a Kitkat is easily the most bizarre in our list unless the Holy Trinity has something against Nestle.
5. Jesus in Space. Not one of the lesser-read books in New Testament, but his face, apparently, is in this picture taken by the Hubble telescope of The Cone Nebular released in 2004. One admirably devout Christian sited this snap as "the most convincing evidence yet" of the existence of God. Space dust? Really?
4. Jesus in an ashtray. They're a godless lot, the Australians, and after what we can only assume was a rowdy, debauched house-party, maybe Jesus felt like they needed reminding that he was watching and so appeared in an ashtray. You've got to admit, the logic is sound. And it's a reasonable likeness. Well, a reasonable likeness to a man with a beard, which seems to be the prevailing idea of what Jesus looked like.
3. Jesus in your mouth. Lots of people say they've got Jesus inside them, but only one man has proof. When an Arizona man's dentist x-rayed his mouth, he was probably expecting to find wisdom teeth, no God - but that's what he got!
2. Jesus in your shower. In person, it would be at best, unnerving, but in mould it seems altogether less cheeky. But when Jeffrey Rigo saw Jesus in the plaster of his shower - he knew what Jesus wanted him to do. He wanted him to chip it out and sell it on eBay for £1,000 - which is what Rigo did. He sold mould for a grand. One grand!
1. Jesus on Oprah. She does get the best guests. But no, Jesus appeared and presumably still does, on Oprah's title sequence. Is it subliminal manipulation? Is Jesus just the biggest Oprah fan? No, no - we're quite sure it's neither.
He's got a habit of turning up in funny places, Jesus Christ. Whether it is a side-effect of omnipotence or people projecting an unconscious desire to attribute meaning to our potentially pointless existence - Jesus' mug is forever showing up in stuff.Most recently, in the wood pattern of a toilet door of an Ikea in Glasgow (see left). They say he works in mysterious ways, but a toilet door in Ikea? Well, if you are there Jesus, you do probably know best.
In honour of Mr Christ here are our Top 10 sightings of the son-of-god, after the jump.
7. Jesus in a bottle. Jesus appears in the foil wrapper around a bottle of cider. It would seem that he, son-of-God is short of things to do. Why not get a hobby Jesus? Crocheting? Free-running? Stopping all the pain and suffering in the world? Just a thought. 
2. Jesus in your shower. In person, it would be at best, unnerving, but in mould it seems altogether less cheeky. But when Jeffrey Rigo saw Jesus in the plaster of his shower - he knew what Jesus wanted him to do. He wanted him to chip it out and sell it on eBay for £1,000 - which is what Rigo did. He sold mould for a grand. One grand!
1. Jesus on Oprah. She does get the best guests. But no, Jesus appeared and presumably still does, on Oprah's title sequence. Is it subliminal manipulation? Is Jesus just the biggest Oprah fan? No, no - we're quite sure it's neither.
