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I have moved

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ndeonasiae, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #1
    Oct 31, 2011
    Joined: Aug 15, 2011
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    Wapendwa nimeamua ku move from my house to be away from my husband not sure forever or for sometime.
    I have moved with the kids. Najisikia nina amani kiasi sasa though there is so much pressure kutoka kwa watu anaowatuma waniombe nirudi na wengine (ndugu zake na marafiki zake) wananiona mimi mbaya na kunilaumu sana, na wananiinsist nirudi eti natesa watoto. kurudi sitaki kwa sasa na hii pressure ya hawa watu kuniinsist nirudi wakati they are not in my shoes inanikera na kuniondolea furaha na amani. Sina uhakika kama nimechukua uamuzi sahihi japo najisikia amani, nataka nibadili namba ya simu, je hii itakuwa sahihi?


    NOTE:
    Tafadhali rejea topic yangu ya kwanza hii hapa chini endapo nimekuacha njia panda.
    Nimechanganyikiwa sikujua kama mwisho utakuwa hivi
    Sijui nianzie wapi?? naandika kwa masikitiko makubwa, miaka 7 iliyopita niliolewa na mwenzangu ambaye nilimpenda baada ya urafiki wa miaka kama 5 japo baadhi ya ndugu zangu hawakupenda niolewe nae coz hana kazi na wala hakusoma aliishia std7 na mimi ni graduate, hakuwa mtu wa kujishughulisha na biashara wala kuajiriwa bali mishen town tu, ila mimi nilimsaidia kamtaji sababu nilimpenda sikusikia wala kuona.
    Mwenzangu huyu kiukweli kuna watu walikuwa wanasema hajatulia ila binafsi kwa upofu wa mapenzi sikulijali hili, lakini tatizo la shughuli kutokuwa na shughuli maalumu nililiona lakini mwenzangu alisisitiza kuwa hawezi kusoma labda biashara japo hakuonyesha juhudi niliamini angebadilika maisha yakaendelea. mie ni muajiriwa nakipato cha kuweza kuitimizia familia hata peke yangu. Niliingia kwenye ndoa nikiamini akiwa mume na baba angebadilika

    Tumeingia kwenye ndoa ndio naanza kuona matatizo mengi hap tuna watoto wawili, si muaminifu kwa pesa za watu wala zangu akiazima basi inabidi nilipe kufunika aibu, ni muongo mara nyingi ni uongo usio na sababu sijui ninini?? yote tisa kumi kesi za wanawake ni kibao na ameshaattempt kuoa mara mbili yeye nikazikamata kwenye mtandao, anakaogonjwa na wanawake wazuri na weupe (hata mimi ni mweupe na mzuri lol) so kila nikimkamata ni ugomvi tu na mwisho anaomba mara msamaha lakini anarudia tena. Biashara nilimuanzishia japo biashara yenyewe alikuja kushindwa akafanya eneo la biashara ndio kituo cha kukutana na wanawake wake mpaka nikawa naogopa kupita hiyo mitaa.

    Mbali na yote haya jamaa ni abuser, physically, verbally, and emotionally,, huwa napigwa mie nikijaribu kuargue kuhusu tabia yake au mambo ya ndani, pia ananihisi hisi na anapenda kunicontrol kama mtoto. kuna events nyingi sana nikiandika nitawachosha

    Sasa wandugu imefikia kipindi mimi mapenzi yameisha na tunawatoto 2, tumejenga (90% ni mchango wangu), gari (90% mchango wangu) na kulisha familia 90% ni mimi, mapenzi yameisha kabisa sio mchezo sidhani kama yatarudi na ninataka kuachana naye, ndoa tulifunga kanisani, nimejaribu kumwambia nataka tutengane kwa muda analia anaomba nafasi ya mwisho anadia ananipenda na anawapenda watoto wake hawezi kuishi mbali nao ila mimi nahisi anaogopa ukali wa maisha na sio mapenzi kwangu, japo wanae kweli anawapenda sana. Natamani nisiondoke lakini ninavyomjua huwa anaomba msamaha zikipita wiki mbili mwezi vituko vinarudi pale pale so naogopa na umri unakimbia natakiwa niwe na misimamo mapema kwani naona hata kwa malezi ya watoto si vizuri kuwa na baba mwenye sifa ya uongo na utapeli mtaani au watu wanakuja hapo kudai watoto wataadapt hizo tabia. naomba nikiri udhaifu wangu katika kupenda naomba msinirushie sana mawe kwa hilo kwa nimeshajua wapi niliteleza.

    Naombeni ushauri utakaonisaidia mimi na watoto wangu, based on your experiences maana naogopa hata kuwaambia ndugu zangu kwani watanichua haraka, wameshajitolea hadi nyumba ya mimi kuishi na wanangu, na vikao vimeshakaliwa vingi na kila siku wananiambia niachane nae lakini mimi nilikuwa kichwa hakijakaa vizuri bado, yani siamini kama nitaishi hivi maisha yangu bila mume coz sipendi wala sifurahishwi na maisha ya kuwa single parent at my age of 32, na hili ndio linanifanya nifikirie sana kuhusu maamuzi yangu.
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 31, 2011
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    badili simu haraka....na ikibidi uhame na mji kabisa
     
  3. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 31, 2011
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    maamuzi mazuri umefanya,wapotezee wote wanaokulaumu na kukufanya uonekane mbaya coz hawajui nini ulikuwa unapitia kwenye iyo nyumba.badili cmu na ukate mawasiliano nao ya aina yoyote
     
  4. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Pole sana Dada,sio jambo la kulaumiwa hukufanya kosa kumpenda ila yeye uliempenda hajui kupendwa wala kupenda,alikuchukua kama mtu wakumsaidia maisha yake lakini usijiadhibu kwa fikira au kuona bila yeye watoto hawatoishi kwa raha,na mwanamme wakukupiga sio mwanamme ebu kwamfano anakupiga nakukujeruhi sehemu na ukawa kilema maisha watoto utawasaidia vp na yeye hana lolote?
    sifurahi watoto kulelewa bila wazazi wote lakini ikiwa huyo jamaa ana tabia chafu kama hizo za kukupinga kukutukana na uzinzi sidhani kama anakufa
    ukizingatia maradhi yalojaa usije ukawacha watoto wako bado wadogo kwa ujinga wa baba yao..
    Siwezi nikakuamulia sababu wewe ndio unajua matamu yake na machungu ingekua mimi kama mwanamke ninge muomba mungu anisaidie nisahau na anipe nguvu na afya niweze kulea wanangu bila yeye huo nimtazamo wangu tuu lakini wewe Dada ndio utaweza kuamua sisi hapa MMU tunajitahidi kutoa ushauri kuchekecha itakua kazi yako, narudia tena pole sana na usijali yatakwisha kama kweli umeamua.....
     
  5. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 31, 2011
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    maamuzi magumu ila mazuri muombe mungu akusaidie na azidi kukutia moyo usiangalie nyuma kabisa
     
  6. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Too long!!
     
  7. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 31, 2011
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    uyo HAKUPEND bali anaogopa ukisepa maisha yatakuaje\/
    kama ivyo kulala bureeeeeee...nyumba umeijenga wewe

    kula bure ..we mwanamke walisha familia..

    gari ilo.....umenunua

    ahh najua ata poket money pia wampa czx umemfungulia biashara na ashaihujumu...ahhh jaman ili ni teso zaidi ya teso..MATESO BLA CHUKI...

    dada amka ..amka 32 sio miaka mingi sana ya kuogopa....anza upya....ukurasa upya....MAISHA NI MAFUP SANA KUISHI NA GENDAHEKA KM LO LISILOKUWA NA SHUKRAN..

    dah maisha haya ni wachache sana wanaokubal kuolewa na std 7...yan love is blind lakn smtimes yana macho ..ukitaka ukianza kumpenda mtu ana ukagundua form 4..std 7 ahh mapenz yenyewe yanakata kona....MAISHA BINI UHALISIA WENYEWE UNAKATAA KUOLEWA NA MTU UYO INGAWA WEWE MWENYEWE UMEMPENDA BT UHALISIA UNAKATAAA


    uyo anakupiga na kukucontrol bila mpango wowote cz anaINFERIORITY COMPLEX ....anataka yeye angekuwa na uwezo uliokuwanao wewe sasa kwa vile hana ndo ivyo anajaribu kukuonyesha IAM THE MAN HERE...kwa aggresive ways.....

    ANGEKUPENDA ASINGEFANYA AYO YA KUKUPIGA.KUTOKUWA MWAMINIFU....

    ASHAKUFANYQA BUZI LAKIKE

    USISIKILIZE WATU MAMA..wakat unapigwa na kuumia moyo kwa fujo za uyo jamaa ao wanaokwambia urejee home wanakuwa hukooooo kwa raha zako...

    labda unipe sabbau moja ya kwanini ubaki......watoto sio kigezo atakuwa anawaona..n dnt b slave et ohh wanangu wanampenda sana babayao...ukitolewa jicho..mapresha aya ukipata.....ahhh dada sepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....tena ikiwezekana ita wazaz wape TAARIFA..SIO KUTAKA MAONI ...TOA TAARIFA YA KUWA NINATAKA KUONDOKA ILE NYUMBA CZ YA 1 3 4 SO SIWEZ TENA NIMEVUMILIA NIMESHINDWA.....jamaa msamehe wala usiwe na kinyongo nae ila usiwe nae tena ...km ni dudu ulilozimikia kwake usjali mamiii kuna watruu wan mipini ya ukweee na mizur tu kumzidi uyo mbuzi meeee asie na utu....utaipata utaenjoy....LIFE IS TOOOOOOOOO SHOT MA DEAR.....UKIONA MWIBA UNAKUJA JICHONI ...KWEPA....

    ME LOVE U

    SALI SANA...we kristu?
    ijumaa waenda msikiti?
    km we ni sista perpetua basi funga novena ata ya siku tisa itakusaidia kujua wat to do
     
  8. bombu

    bombu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Acha uvivu binti
     
  9. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 31, 2011
    Joined: Sep 24, 2010
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    nina wasiwasi ya kuwa "you have moved"......................"but you have not moved on"

    move on baby.......................just move on......................................na hapo huatahitaji ushauri kutoka kwa watu ambao............................they are not the wearer of the shoe...........................then how can they locate where he is pinching you..............?????????????????????just asking aloud, baby............
     
  10. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 31, 2011
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    acha uvivu bibie...mbona rajabu akikutumia barua page 8 waisoma bila upele?
     
  11. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 31, 2011
    Joined: Mar 7, 2009
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    sikubaliana na ushauri wako....rudia kusoma vizuri alichondika hapo juu....anasema ''Wapendwa nimeamua ku move from my house to be away from my husband not sure forever or for sometime''

    kutokana na saikolojia huyu dada bado hajafanya uamzi kmili wa kuachana na mumewe au kaamua tu kubadili mazingizi ili mumewe ajirudi kitabia....kubadili namba za simu sidhani kama itamsaidi sana maana bado hajachukua uamzi sahihi wa kuachana nae mazima au la.....kama ameamua kujipumzisa kwa mda sawa haina shida ...kuna huu mstari tena anasema ''Sina uhakika kama nimechukua uamuzi sahihi japo najisikia amani, ''

    kwa kifupi ni kwamba ROHO YA SIRI BADO INALIA MAHALI FLANI NDANI YA NAFSI JUU YA UAMZI WAKE...ushauri wa kubadili namba na kuhama mji sidhani kama ni sahihi iwapo yeye mhusika mwenyewe hajafanya maamuzi thabiti....pia akumbuke kuwa noa huvunjwa na wanandoa wenyewe na kwamwe ndoa haivunjwi na watu...kamaa ameamua kukaa juu ya dari kupisha rapsha za mumewe hiyo ni juu yake chini yetu
     
  12. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Umekuwa jasiri; na Mungu akulinde kwa ujasiri wako.................umetuonesha njia wengi wetu hapa hasa sie ambao ni wagumu wa kuchukua hatua mpaka mauti yanatufika
     
  13. s

    shalis JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 31, 2011
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    sasa mbona kama vile uan sitasita mara umemove ila huju kama ni foreva.. mi umenishangaza kwa hiyo unaweza rudia matapishi eeh yan iusigeuke nyuma u deservfe the best bwana lol stnd 7 then anichoshe akili ni mapenzi au ndumba ..lol hazikamati hapo
     
  14. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Wapwa; msimsonge kwa maneno................mpeni moyo dada yetu haki ya nani mtoto wa kike kachukua maamuzi mazito kwa hatua aliyofikia kuna wengi wetu humu hatuwezi...............hatuna hata huo ujasiri!
     
  15. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Hongera kwa hilo.badili namba na usiwasikilize hao km ni maumivu au furaha unaijua ww,ikiwezekana hata wasipafahamu unapoishi.
     
  16. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Umeshafanya maamuzi magumu tayari, ambayo pia ni hatua nzr kwako kupata amani ya moyo. Ushauri wa bure, sahau sasa yaliyopita. Jione kuwa umefungua kurasa mpya ambayo wewe ni baba na mama wa familia yako. Achana na hao ndg zake wanaokuforce kurudi. Hakikisha contact zako hao jamaa hawazipati.

    Hiki ni kipindi kizuri ingawa ni kigumu sana cha mwanzo wa maisha yako mapya ambapo unapaswa kutuliza akili ili uweze kuplan mambo yako vzr kwa ajili ya maisha yako na familia yako kwa sasa na baadaye.

    Fikiria vitu vya kukunyooshea maisha kama miradi nk na sahau kabisa mahusiano yako ya awali na huyo aliyekutesa. Pia kumbuka kumuomba Mungu akuwezeshe na kukufanikisha ktk kila mipango yako unayopanga. La kuongezea kuwa mama wa msimamo sasa, usianze kujiachia hovyo kwa vijana utachafua heshima yako na kuingia kwenye matatizo makubwa zaidi.

    Nakuombea kheri na maisha mema. Mungu akukumbuke na kukufuata machozi. amin
     
  17. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 31, 2011
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    Ndugu yangu achana na watu kuna wengine watakushauri sio kwa wema, usikilize sana moyo wako, fanya kile ambacho kitaupa furaha moyo wako,wewe ndie unaejua shida, raha, na matatizo ya hiyo ndoa yako. Endelea na maisha, ila usimkataze baba kuwasalimia watoto wake, waache watoto wampe heshima yake coz ni baba yao mzazi. Pole sana.
     
  18. dubu

    dubu JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 31, 2011
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    mkuu wewe unampenda sana mmeo sema hasira zimekuzidi.unafikili malezi ya watoto bila upendo wa baba yatakuaje?mumeo inaonekana hajafikisha miaka 32.kaa na mumeo mjenge familia yenu kumbe ajenge nani?na wewe punguza kutumia hela kama fimbo ya kumnyanyasa mmeo.wewe wivu ndo unakusumbua.mmeo anakupenda ndo maana anakuita.mcontrol unywaji wake wa pombe.hata ukiwa na gunia la hela bila mwanaume ni kazi bule.punguza dhalau na Mungu atawabariki.mia
     
  19. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 31, 2011
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    nisameheni!nasoma basi!
     
  20. T

    Tata JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 31, 2011
    Joined: Dec 3, 2009
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    Keep us informed of your next move. I personally don't believe in keeping a marriage just for the sake of kids. You end up hurting them more because they are clever enough to notice when things are not the way they should be. Love should always be the foundation of any marital relationship.
     
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