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Helpline (Customer Support

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by X-PASTER, Mar 6, 2010.


    X-PASTER Moderator

    Mar 6, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
    Messages: 11,651
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    This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
    (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

    Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

    Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

    Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
    went away.'

    Operator: 'Went away?'

    Caller: 'They disappeared'

    Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

    Caller: 'Nothing.'

    Operator: 'Nothing??'

    Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

    Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

    Caller: 'How do I tell?'

    Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

    Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

    Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

    Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

    Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

    Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

    Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
    Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

    Caller: 'I don't know.'

    Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
    the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

    Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

    Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
    plugged into the wall.

    Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

    Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
    there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
    one? '

    Caller: 'No.'

    Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
    find the other cable.'

    Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

    Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
    the back of your computer..'

    Caller: 'I can't reach.'

    Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

    Caller: 'No..'

    Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
    way over?'

    Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
    because it's dark.'

    Operator: 'Dark?'

    Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    coming in from the window.'

    Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

    Caller: 'I can't.'

    Operator: 'No? Why not?'

    Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

    Operator: 'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
    licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
    packing stuff that your computer came in?'

    Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

    Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
    up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
    the store you bought it from.'

    Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

    Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

    Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    Mar 6, 2010
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    ha ha ha.
  3. K

    Kosmio Senior Member

    Mar 6, 2010
    Joined: Apr 28, 2009
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    This guy deserves a pay rise.
  4. PJ

    PJ JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: Oct 10, 2007
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    This guy is keen to learn
  5. kikahe

    kikahe JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: May 23, 2009
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    Hii kali!
  6. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: Sep 3, 2007
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    Caller: what if they deny to take it back

    Operator: tel them to give the one which use kerosene!
  7. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Wow !

    yeah its serves the user right
  8. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Labda angeuliza kama wanatumia UPS na ni muda gani tangu umeme ukatike!??
  9. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    Mar 8, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    hahahaaaa! you made my day
  10. K

    Kinabo Member

    Mar 9, 2010
    Joined: Dec 4, 2006
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    hahahaaaa! you made my day. Thanks
  11. senator

    senator JF-Expert Member

    Mar 9, 2010
    Joined: Aug 9, 2007
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    Duh nilikuwa sijapitia kwenye hii thread nimecheka mpaka machozi...kuna watu wengine wehu..nadhan hata hapa bongo madada/makaka wa customer care za kwenye simu wanapata taabu kweli