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Enzi zetu za shule

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by vukani, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. vukani

    vukani JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 28, 2010
    Joined: Dec 30, 2009
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    Katika kusoma kwangu nimebahatika kusoma katika shule mbalimbali zikiwamo za hapa Jijini Dar na za mikoani.


    Nimegundua kuwa sekta ya ualimu ndiyo inayoongioza kwa waalimu kupewa majina ya utani na wanafunzi, na majina hayo yanaweza kuwa ni kutokana na tabia ya mwalimu, aina ya mavazi anayopenda kuvaa, kauli zake za mara kwa mara, matamshi na hata vituko anavyofanya, maana unaweza kukuta mwalimu ana vituko kama The Comedy.

    Binafsi nakumbuka kuna mwalimu tulikuwa tunamwita darubini, huyu alikuwa ana macho makali, kwa mfano unaweza kuwa kwenye chimbo (Chimbo ni eneo la kujificha) na kama akipita eneo hilo ukawahi kukimbia, utashangaa siku ya pili mkiwa kwenye gwaride akikuita kwa jina kuwa upite mbele, na hapo ni lazima upate bakora.

    Kingine ni pale ambao umejificha mahali, halafu ukawa unachungulia kwenye kona ya ukuta, akiona jicho tu utashangaa akikuita kwa jina na hapo pia utachezea bakora, alikuwa na kipaji cha kukariri majina na sura za wanafunzi wake, huyu alikuwa ni mwalimu wa nidhamu na mara nyingi waalimu wa nidhamu ndio wanaokutana na adha hii ya kupewa majina ya ajabu.

    Mwalimu mwingine tulikuwa tunamuita Pindipo. Huyu alipenda sana kutumia neno la ‘Pindipo utakapobainika' pale ambapo anatahadharisha juu ya jambo fulani. Kama kawaida wanafunzi wakampachika jina la Pindipo.

    Mwalimu mwingine ninayemkumbuka tulikuwa tunamwita ‘Kala nini' huyu naye kama umefanya makosa na amekasirika sana, alikuwa akipenda kusema ‘binti reo utaniereza nimekura nini usiku wa jana' huyu alikuwa anatokea kule kwa akina Chacha Wambura. Na ndipo wanafunzi wakamwita Mwalimu Kala nini.

    Huko Sekondari napo nikakutana na vituko hivyo, kuna mwalimu wetu wa Biology tulikuwa tunamwita mwalimu Mandible, Mandible ni zile antenna za Panzi, sasa yeye alikuwa akipenda kulitamka hilo neno mpaka tukamwita hilo jina la mwalimu Mandible.

    Mwalimu mwingine alikuwa ni mwalimu wa Kiswahili huyu tulimwita jina la Ngoswe, kama mnakumbuka kile kitabu cha Ngoswe, Penzi kitovu cha uzembe.

    Mwalimu mwingine alikuwa akiitwa ‘However,' huyu, hawezi kusema maneno matatu ya kiingereza bila kutamka hili neno la However, na hapo wanafunzi wakampa jina la However.

    Kwa kweli ni majina mengi mno na kama nikisema niyataje hapa, basi nitawachosha, ngoja niwaachie na wasomaji wengine watoe kumbukumbu zao.
     
  2. Hassani

    Hassani JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 1, 2010
    Joined: Jun 5, 2009
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    kuna mmoja tulikuwa tunamwita Treni,alikuwa anavuta sigara,akiwa anakuja class mnaanza kuona Moshi Mlangoni kisha anaingia.
     
  3. RasJah

    RasJah JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Nov 5, 2009
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    Nimemkumbuka mwalimu wangu " TRIAL BALANCE" mwalimu wangu wa book keeping.. mzee wa kubalansisha yale majedwali..
     
  4. Ngalikihinja

    Ngalikihinja JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Sep 1, 2009
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    Nawakumbuka sana wafuatao enzi zilee za mwishoni mwa miaka ya themanini na mwanzoni mwa tisini
    1. Kinyakanyaka............ akianza kukuchapa fimbo anataja .....BLOOD KINYAKANYAKA
    2. Mbungi wa umeme............ AKIKUKAMATA ALIKUWA ANASEMA...UNANILETEA MBINGI MIMI
    3. Brigedia mwakalindile...........WIKI YA ZAMU YAKE ILIKUWA NI BALAA
    4. Olu wa kiingereza
    5. People ..........KILA BAADA YA NENO MOJA AU MAWILI LAZIMA ASEME ..... PEOPLE
     
  5. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    R.I.P Trial Balance wangu wa Lugalo Secondary Iringa alifariki mwishoni mwa miaka ya tisini.

    Bunsen Burner.......Huyu ni mwalimu wangu wa kemia form 1 na alinifanya nilipende somo kwa uhondo na namna alivyokuwa akilitamka jina la hicho kifaa cha maabara.

    Sir Ambi (sijui kama yupo hai) alikuwa mojawapo wa walimu ogopwa sana enzi hizo. Kutokana na u-seriousness wake watu walimpachika jina la Sir

    Mheshimiwa Comrade ...Marehemu Mwalimu Materu ambaye aliwahi kututishia form one enzi hizo kwamba majina yetu yameandikwa kwa penseli kwenye rejista ya shule; hivyo kwake ilikuwa ni rahisi kutufuta! Akikuita lazima akwambie Mheshimiwa Comrade. Lakini wanafunzi ni wanafunzi; akiwa ni mwalimu wa somo la kilimo alikuwa ndiye msimamizi wetu wa orientation na orienatio enzi hizo ilikuwa ni kulima bustani (waliofika lugalo sekondari Iringa wanalifahamu eneo husika linalimwa mboga mboga karibu mwaka mzima) Vijana kwa kukwepa kazi tuliandikisha orodha ya majina kwa kuytaumia majina ya wachezaji wa yanga na simba wa enzi hizo! tih tih Ilikuwa patashika wakati wa gwaride la utambuzi Mheshimiwa Comrade alipokuwa anang'angania kumwadhibu a.k.a Abedi Mziba ama Omari Fungo na Minziro wake!teh teh teh

    Headmaster wangu wa kwanza Mwl Mazengo aliwahi kuja shule kavaa raba enzi hizo zikiwa na jina maarufu LA KUCHUMPA; ikawa soo kwani alimfuma mwanafunzi akiwaambia wenzie "headmaster kavaa la kuchumpa" yeye akatafsiri neno la kuchumpa ni kitu cha wizi! Ilikuwa mshike mshike na bahati mbaya sana alikuwa na kigugumizi!

    Namshukuru Mungu nilipata bahati ya kupita mikononi mwao pamoja na vituko vyote tulivyovifanya bado wao ndio ndio msingi wa mimi nilivyo sasa




    Jamani endelezeni safu!
     
  6. k

    kingwipa1 JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Jul 2, 2008
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    Wewe chijana umenikumbusha mbaaliii!!!

    Nimekumbuka sana maisha ya sekondari fulani ambapo tulikuwa na majina kibao kwa walimu wetu. Nakumbuka mwalimu mmoja tulimwita Kifaru na mke wake tukamwita Kidedea kwa jinsi miili yao ilivyokuwa mikubwa. Chakushangaza majina hayo walikuwa wanayafahamu. Watundu wachache wakambadilishia jina huyo mwalimu wa kiume nalo akalifahamu. Basi siku moja akajilipua morning assembly. Akasema, vijana kumezuka mtindo wa kupeana majina hapa shule. Mliniita Kifaru, nikakubali. Mke wangu mkamuita kidedea, nikakubali; sasa hili jina la popobawa litakwenda na mtu!!!
    Basi alikuwa akipita karibu na mabweni ya wanafunzi watu wanaanza kuita kwa sauti POPOBAWA popobawa na asifanye kitu.
    Baadaye alikuja mwalimu mkuu mmoja mkorofi sana, hakiyanani alinifanya nitoroke parade za asubuhi kwa jinsi alivyokuwa akiadhibu. Siku mmoja alimkoa jamaa wa nyuma yangu konzi zito ambalo lilihamishia maumivu kwangu na siku hiyo nikasoma kwa shida kwa ajili ya ule mlio. Huyo mzee nasikia alishafariki, kama kweli r.i.p Msasa. Huyo tulimwita Hitler na makamu wake alipewa jina la Natenyahu ambapo yeye wenyewe alikiri kapewa jina zuri.

    Kuna jamaa lingine sijui mzima ama sio mzima, yeye alijiita UNYAMAUNYAMA maana ukiwa na soo nae mnamalizana kwa fimbo ama ngumi. Na hata ukimshinda hana kesi na wewe bali anajipanga upya. Hili jamaa lilikuwa linakuja kutuamsha saa 11 alfajiri kwamba tutoke kwenye magorofa ya serikali na kwenda kufanya usafi. Lilipenda kusema mkitaka raha jengeni zenu!!! Wanafunzi nao wanamtukana kuwa wenzake wamelala na wake zao yeye anakimbizana na wanafunzi kwa kuwa mke wake kipoli. Na yeye anajibu hata km kipoli mimi najali mchezo. It was real funny with those guys.
     
  7. Bazazi

    Bazazi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Aug 18, 2008
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    Wale waliokuwepo miaka ya mwishoni mwa 1980 kule DABANGA CAMP pale kwenye kona ya KINYANYIKO mnawakumbuka hawa? -Hitler; mkewe alizaa mapacha na Mzungu wa kimarekani mmewe akisomea master UD mwaka 1987. -Mpapa -Father= Alikuwa HM Wale Wazumbe mwanzani mwa 1990 -Mkombhoti
     
  8. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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    Kulikuwa na huyu pia

    'Kocha'..... huyu hachapi fimbo lakini adhabu zake lazima utoe chozi (push ups, kichurachura nk).
     
  9. Anyisile Obheli

    Anyisile Obheli JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 2, 2010
    Joined: Dec 13, 2009
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    da ama kweli umenikumbusha kuuulee
    gari moshi, Zimba....heheeee.......mwakyulus mzee wa ngambo yaani fegi kwa kwenda mbele hiyo ilikuwa Meta Secondary jijini Mbeya
     
  10. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Duh kaka...kweli umeniacha hoi...apigwe mwenzako maumivu usikilizie wewe!??
     
  11. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Mimi nawakumbuka:
    "potato"- Huyu mwalimu alikuwa wa Biology na kila mtu kwake alikuwa potato! "You potato come here!"
    "Ahaa"-mwalimu alikuwa anatema huyo..mdomo yani unanuka! afu ndo toothpaste ya Ahaa ilikuwa imetoka basi ndo likawa jina lake!
    "Demand"-Huyu mwalimu wa Commerce na topic ya kwanza kufundisha ilikuwa Demand and Supply..hence the name!
    Duh na kule Majengo sec tulikuwa na HM wetu Lyimo..yani yeye zake ni "Kiss the ground!"...viboko vyaja nyuma...kazi kwelikweli! walimu wengine utadhani walienda kozi ya kuchapana!!!!
     
  12. Ngalikihinja

    Ngalikihinja JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Sep 1, 2009
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    Yaanii....... kama tulikuwa woteee vileee enzi za nyuka, vizibo, beche, bondo, ...........KUNA Tumwidike (JINA LAKE HALISI) A.K.A Mrs Mwakalindile
     
  13. k

    kosamfe Member

    #13
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Apr 14, 2009
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    Aah! Umenikumbusha mbali sana.
     
  14. k

    kosamfe Member

    #14
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Apr 14, 2009
    Messages: 71
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    Kwa wale wa Tambaza enzi za miaka ya mwanzoni mwa 80

    Duduwasha ......... huyu alikuwa mama mmoja ana umbo na sura mbaya sana likini sauti yake kinanda
    Kenge ........ Mwl wa siasa aliyekuwa hana msimamo
    Mbwa mdogo ........ wa hesabu alikuwa hawezi kutamka Bwana Mdogo
    Piccollo ......... wa Music alikuwa anatamka sana hilo neno
    n.k
     
  15. Tusker Bariiiidi

    Tusker Bariiiidi JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Jul 3, 2007
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    Nakumbuka kulikuwa na mwalimu wa English ambaye alikuwa na BONGE LA KICHWA!! Tukamwita THE HEADING ABOVE IS CONCERNING!!!
     
  16. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Kama Irena wa Mwanakijiji!
     
  17. B

    Boney E.M. JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Jan 22, 2007
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    You all made my day jamani asanteni sana nimefurahia mno....
     
  18. Ngalikihinja

    Ngalikihinja JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Sep 1, 2009
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    Akyanani hili neno...................KIPOLI......limenikumbusha mbali saaanaaaaa.........JAMANI SHULE KULIKUWA NA RAHAAAA SAAANAAAAA
     
  19. W

    Walivyo Member

    #19
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Dec 8, 2009
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    Aisee yaani nami umernikumbusha mbali sana, maana nikiwa shule moja ya msingi kule Morogoro Vijijini kuna mwalimu alifahamika sana kwa jina la utani 'Kikoti' . Jina hilo lilitokana na tabia yake ya kuvaa koti iwe siku ya mvua. joto ama baridi yeye ilikuwa na koti tu.

    Basi bora hilo koti lingekuwa kubwa yaani linalomtosha, mwee! kama Waluguru wanavyosema lilikuwa dogo yaani lililomruka kitambo. Basi ndivyo hivyo tena kama unavyojua wanafunzi mwalimu kikoti kikoti, mpaka sasa mwenyewe analijua jina hilo ingawa bado watu wanamwita kwa kujiiba.

    Kwa sasa amehamishiwa shule moja ya msingi iliyopo Pangawe Jeshini, bravo mwalimu kikoti kwa kunifundisha somo la siasa, sasa uraia.
     
  20. W

    Walivyo Member

    #20
    Mar 3, 2010
    Joined: Dec 8, 2009
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    Yaani siwezi sema sana jamani, nahisi kama leo nimerudi kwenye maisha yangu ya utoto kabisa aah wapi mwalimu Madirisha, huyu alikuwa akipenda sana kujificha dirishani kuchungulia wanafunzi wanaotoroka ama kuchelewa kuingia darasani.

    alikuwa na shati lake la mikono mirefu jekundu, akilikunja hilo ujiandae kula bakora za juu ya kiuno, mungu amsaidie sasa amekuwa chizi kwa tuhuma za kumpa binti mmoja mwanafunzi ujauzito.

    Tukio hilo lilitokea baada ya kufungwa na kuachiwa, nasikia mzazi wa mtoto hakufurahia adhabu ile akaamua kumpa uchizi, duniani hapa we acha tu!
     
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