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:) cheka kimtindo

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Jaama aliingia kwenye daladala,akakutana na dada m1,mazungumzo yalikuwa hv.....
    Jamaa:Samahan dada et we unaitwa google?
    Dada:Hapana...,mbona umedhania hvyo...?
    Jamaa:Kwa sababu una kila kitu nnachotafuta
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Katika mazoezi ya mgambo kutafuta wanajeshi.uliwadia muda wakulenga shabaa,kamanda wa kikosi akasikia mmoja wa mgambo wake anamwaga risasi kama rambo,akamfuata akaangalia wapi alipopiga,akakuta hajalenga hata risasi moja kwenye ile karatasi ya shabaa.akamuuliza


    kamanda-mbona hujapata hata point moja kwenye kulenga shabaa?umebakiwa na risasi ngapi?


    Mgambo-siwezi,na nimebaki na risasi moja


    kamanda-(kwa hasira)nenda kule msituni kajiue nayo kichwani ufie hukohuko.


    Mgambo akaondoka akaenda porini kujipiga.dk2 zikaisha huku kwa kamanda wakasikia mlio wa risasi,kamanda akaamua kwenda kumwangalia kama jamaa amejipiga kweli,hata hajafika porini anakutana na mgambo anarudi.


    Kamanda-wee sinilikuambia uende ukajiue


    mgambo-nimejipiga ila nimejikosa.
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Daktari wa saikolojia alitembelewa na askari jela na mazungumzo yakawa hivi.
    ASKARI:hivi dokta huwa unamjuaje mtu aliyechanganyikiwa akili?
    DR:Aaah huwa namuuliza swali jepesi ambalo mtu mwenye akili timamu ataweza kulijibu.
    ASKARI:Swali kama lipi?hebu nipe mfano.
    DR:Ok...kwa mfano...Chifu mkwawa aliwahi kupigana vita mara tatu na kifo chake kilitokea akiwa vitani.Je ni vita ipi hiyo??
    ASKARI:Aaah..mmmh...kwa kweli mi siko vizuri sana kwenye historia,hebu nitafutie swali lingine mbali na historia
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Mwalimu wamatahira aliingia na nazi dasani akawambia hili ni yai la tembo nanianaweza kulisotea mpaka tembo atoke tahira lakiume likatoka mbele likaenda kulisotea mpaka suruali ikachanika wenzake wakaona jogoo wa jamaa anaanza kutoka, wakaanza kushangilia mkonga mkonga ghafla wakaona p**bu wakasema masikio masiko mwalimu hoi!
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Kulikuwa na mzee mmoja mkali kishenz
    i ila alikuwa hajui kiingereza
    kabisaa... Mwanae
    anayesoma
    international schol
    alikuwa na demu wake
    ambaye one day demu
    akaenda kumcheki
    mshkaji kwao...
    Kufika akamkuta jamaa
    kakaa sebuleni na
    mdingi wake... Yule
    kijana baada tu ya
    demu kusalimia
    akamwambia yule demu
    wake...
    ''Aahaaa, ndo umekuja
    kufata kile kitabu cha
    'Speak english my
    father doesn't know?!''
    Demu akamjibu, "Ndiyo
    na naomba uniazime kile
    kitabu cha story cha
    'what about our
    promise?'
    Kijana akajibu, "Kile cna
    kipo cha 'Wait for me
    under the coconut tree
    outside".
    Daah, dingi kusikia hivyo
    akanyanyuka na kumpa
    dogo mwekundu na
    kumpongeza kwa
    kupenda kusoma vitabu
    then akaelekea zake
     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Mama mmoja wakati anamfokea mwanae mdogo alieharibu jambo alimalizia kwa kumuambia...
    "...muone kwanza, sura mfuko wa jeans"
    Mtoto akauliza "wa mbele, wa nyuma?
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 20, 2011
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    Wanaume wawili walikua wanataka kupigana
    Wa 1:Nipige uone kama hutashtakiwa na watu wa haki za wanyama
    Wa 2:Bahati nzuri unajijua kama una sura kama NYATI
     
  8. mikatabafeki

    mikatabafeki JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 20, 2011
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    ah haaa haaaa...................mkuu na ile ID ya Jguar ni ya kwako nini???kuna kigezo fulani ukiacha fun msgs kuna kigezo nakiona hebu ntaku pm
     
  9. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 20, 2011
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    mkuu hii dah unanitisha....ebu nipe hiyo kigezo,ni Pm
     
  10. mysteryman

    mysteryman JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Hahahaha hiyo ya madogo na kiingereza nouma
     
  11. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    wanajifanya wasomi
     
  12. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 21, 2011
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    Ah wapi,jaguar hawezi kuwa Excellent namna hii!
     
  13. rosemarie

    rosemarie JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Mkuu nakukubali sana kwenye hizi comedy zetu
     
  14. h

    hayaka JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    hongera mkuu we nimkali, zote ziko poa kinoma.
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Ebu mwambie,mana sijui anatumia vigezo gani
     
  16. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    thanks mkuu
     
  17. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    thanks mkuu
     
  18. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Haaaaa haaaa haaaaa!excellent bwana!
     
  19. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Haaaaaa haaaa haaaaa!uwiiiiiiiii jaman jf rahaaaaaaaaa!big up mkuu!
     
  20. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 21, 2011
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    Haaaaa haaaaa haaaaa!askari kachanganyikiwa!
     
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