Bora nimeoa sasa!

[Yo Yo]

( sijaolewa bado...soon InshaAllah), hoping that i will love it and never wnat to be single again.....tiririiririririiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Whatts up shishi....

 

[Mpita Njia]

Nampa hongera Kana kansungu kwa kuleta mada hii.
Mie nimeoa na ninathubutu kusema maisha ya ndoa ni matamu kuliko watu wanavyodhani....

Temea mate chini Mkuu

 

[Icadon]

Hongera kwa wote mliooa/kuolewa na wale wanaokaribia kuoa/kuolewa au wanaofikiria ndoa.
Sisi wengine ata kufikiria kuoa bado hatujaanza na kadri siku zinavyokwenda ilo wazo ndio linazidi kupotea kwenye upeo, na mara kwa mara najiuliza kuna ulazima gani wa kuoa? Kwenye jamii yetu kuna baadhi ya watu wanachukulia watu ambao hawajaoa au kuolewa ni wahuni na washenzi wa tabia.

 

[Aluta]

Hii mada imetulia...nina mwaka ndani ya ndoa na ninachoweza kusema kwa upande wangu maisha ya ndoa ni mazuri kuliko kuwa single. Hii lakini si kwa kila mtu ambae ameoa au kuolewa sababu watu ni tofauti; hasa wa tabia. Na mtu kubadilika actually it will take time na kwa maana hiyo basi uvumilivu ni muhimu. Ila ndugu zangu naweza sema kwa walioa samaki mkunje angali mbichi; ukingoka akikauka basi hata kunjika tena ali atavunjika and the results is divorce. Nadhani tusiwe wanafiki if u don't like it..u better mention it earlier kwa mkeo au mmeo...kama tabia fulani hupendi then mwambie na ukiambiwa usikasirike.Black is black White is white.

 

[Nyaralego]

Saafi saaaaaana KKK. Yaani tusijidanganye eti oh nasubiri tu mpaka siku ya harusi ndipo madam au mume uanze kishi naye kwa muda mrefu. Hata kama mnaishi kwa muda on and off ile ya kumega tunda lakini bado mnahitaji muda mrefu kuishi pamoja ili kufahamiana zaidi. Hapa napingana na wachungaji wote, makasisi, mapadre yaani viongozi wote wa dini hasa wakristo. Ndoa nyingi zimekufa forever, nyingine ziko ICU, nyingine ziko njiani na ambulence kupelekwa ICU, nyingine ziko kitandani zinagumia bado kufika hospitali, nyingine ni wagonjwa mahututi watarajiwa. Zote hizi ni matokea ya either kutofahamiana mapema kitabia so you are incompartible kama blood groups so for sure the marriage willl clot!!!

Wow!!! I am amazed by your insight. Your analogy is very apt. 100% compatibilty and common goals. Yaani I got goose bumps.

Mimi niliishi na my better-half wangu kwa muda mrefu, tukafanya homeworks zote za couples independently na kufanya corrections together. I love my marriage life, we miss each other, we have become marriage counselors. And nikisikia mtu anaoa au kolewa kama namfahamu huwa tu namuuliza "Je unamfahamu na kumjua vilivyo mtarajiwa wako?" Huwa napata response mbalimbali hapa. Bottom line, watu wengi wanaingia katika ndoa for the sake ya kuoa/kuolewa bila kufanya analyses ya maisha halisi ya ndoa, kibaya mno kila mmoja anakuwa na matarajio tofauti kabisa kutoka kwa mwenzake, mwishowe yasipofikia ni kiama cha Talaka au a hell family life. Watch out guys!!!

God Bless you.

 

[Icadon]

100% compatibility hii kitu inawezekana ama you mnachukua utofauti wenu and make it work?

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Sasa ili ndoa idumu ni nini hasa kifanyike ili wanaotaka kuingia wasihofu kuingia.

Mhhhhhh......labda haya yasemwayo hapa yatasaidia...

Finding your perfect mate may come down to 'chemistry' after all-the chemistry inside your brain according to a new relationship theory. Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University anthropologist, has studied brain responses to relationships for decades, and she says there are four distinct personality types based on your brain chemistry.

THE BUILDER

Builders are fueled by the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. Serotonin is the same neurotransmitter that is believed to be critical in alleviating depression. Builders are calm, orderly and managerial in their approach to love. Although they can be pleasingly social, sometimes they are criticized for being humdrum homebodies. Builders are reliable, stable and consistent, but they can be a bit predictable and lack some spontaneity.

THE EXPLORER

Explorers are governed by the novelty-seeking brain chemical dopamine. Imbalances of dopamine have been connected to heightened impulsivity, risk-taking behaviors, drug addiction, delusions, and even schizophrenia. Driven by dopamine explorers constantly seek excitement in relationships. Sometimes they move from relationship to relationship once the monotony sets in. Explorers are highly spontaneous and often fun lovers, but they become bored easily and are often criticized for being flighty.

THE DIRECTOR

The male sex hormone testosterone is thought to predominate in the brains of directors, but both men and women can fall into this personality type. In studies testosterone has been associated with aggression and competitiveness. In relationships the testosterone-driven directors are focused, rational, daring and direct. They are logical lovers, but at times they can be coldly analytical, bossy and controlling.

THE NEGOTIATOR

Negotiators are governed by the female hormone estrogen, but both men and women can fall into this category. Estrogen has been associated with mothering behaviors, emotional connectivity, and selfless reasonability. Negotiators are socially skilled, idealistic peacemakers and they often find themselves at the gravitational center of relationships. They are empathetic lovers, and willing to compromise on almost every issue.

SO WHAT MAKES THE BEST MATCH?

Explorers:
Explorers often want to date themselves and they should. The other personality types are often frustrated by the explorer's flights of fancy, irrationality, and unwillingness to commit to long-term relationships. So explorers should seek other explorers to keep fueling the excitement. Explorers can sometimes ground themselves by dating builders, but they run into trouble by dating directors. The no-nonsense approach of the director leaves explorers feeling confined or trapped.


Builders:
Builders value loyalty, consistency, and thrive on routine. Dating another builder is the most common and it may be the most successful relationship strategy. Two builders together often form a stable family unit, guided by shared goals and teamwork. Builders can sometimes ground an explorer, but the builder's love of routine can often clash with the explorer's love of novelty.

Negotiators and Directors:
Directors often need a negotiator to temper their frank, methodical approach to romance, and negotiators often benefit from the stronger backbone of directors. However negotiators, given their pleasing nature, can suit just about other personality type. Directors, on the other hand, find it very difficult to date anyone without good negotiating and peacemaking skills.


Written By: Sean Kenniff, MD,br.Healthapalooza

 

[Nyaralego]

100% compatibility hii kitu inawezekana ama you mnachukua utofauti wenu and make it work?

That too!!! Agreeing to work on everything. Be it differences or likes and dislikes. both parties have to be willing. If one party is hesitant baasi the marriage is doomed.

 

[C. Misonge]

kwa kweli mkuu kana ka nsungu, hii mada ni nzuri sana, na imekuwa kama unaniambia mimi vile, kwa kuwa nipo mbioni kuoa, halafu sijui yupi wa kumuoa, ngoja niwafanyie usaili wote

 

[Yo Yo]

Kuoa bugudha.....kwanini msizae tu lazima muoane? zaeni kila mtu ansshika time yake...

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

100% compatibility hii kitu inawezekana ama you mnachukua utofauti wenu and make it work?

100% compatibility ina exist kwenye ndoto tu Icadon, in reality hakuna kitu kama hicho unless uamue kumuoa pacha wako! Kila mwanandoa mtarajiwa atakuwa na 'ideal candidate' wake kwenye mawazo yake lakini ni vigumu kumpata mtu atakayetiki kila box kwa hiyo inabidi uchague yule ambaye ana score points nyingi kwenye vigezo vyako. Mara nyingi ndoa hukutanisha watu wenye background tofauti kabisa, watu wametoka nchi au mkoa tofauti, malezi tofauti, viwango vya elimu tofauti, etc na bora wapenzi wote wangekuwa wanakutana utotoni, hii isingekuwa issue- tatizo ni kwamba mnakutana ukubwani!Samaki ambaye ashakunjwa zamani wewe huwezi kumkunja tena, ukikazana sana kumkunja tena utamvunja!
Cha kufanya ni kuyatambua na kuyakubali mapungufu ya mwenzako kwa kuwa hata wewe mwenyewe hauko perfect, utakuwa na vitabia fulani ambavyo umekua navyo na its too late kuvirekebisha, yeyote anayetaka kuishi na wewe ni lazima akuvumilie. Ni muhimu sana mwanzoni kuzungumzia kero zilizopo na juhudi za makusudi zichukuliwe kupunguza effects zake kama si kuziondoa kabisa lakini pale inaposhindikana, you have to learn to live with them, ukubali tu kuwa mwenzako ndivyo alivyo! Hapa ndio probation inapo play part yake, kama unaona degree ya incompartibility ni kubwa kuliko matarajio yako- unammwaga tu.

 

[BAK]

Kuoa bugudha.....kwanini msizae tu lazima muoane? zaeni kila mtu ansshika time yake...

Vipi tena Yoyo machale yamekucheza!? Signature yako inasema hivi: Goal for 2010:Marriage. Au unatafuta wa kuzaa naye tu kisha ushike hamsini zako!? Just thinking aloud

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

100% compatibility hii kitu inawezekana ama you mnachukua utofauti wenu and make it work?

Hakuna kitu kama hiyo aisee. Cha muhimu ni kuheshimiana, kutendeana vizuri, kupendana, na kuvumiliana. Bila hayo you are doomed

 

[BAK]

Hakuna kitu kama hiyo aisee. Cha muhimu ni kuheshimiana, kutendeana vizuri, kupendana, na kuvumiliana. Bila hayo you are doomed

Compatibility ya 100% ni ndoto maana hata identical twins hawana compatibility ya 100% sembuse watu waliotoka katika familia tofauti.

 

[Pretty]

Maisha ya ndoa jamani yana raha, japo bado sipo huko.Cha muhimu ni kupata yule ambaye Mungu amekuandalia. Utafurahia ndoa yako kama paradiso/mbingu.

 

[SMU]

Maisha ya ndoa jamani yana raha, japo bado sipo huko.Cha muhimu ni kupata yule ambaye Mungu amekuandalia. Utafurahia ndoa yako kama paradiso/mbingu.

Pretty, hapo huwa ni pagumu sana!

 

[Joyceline]

Kuoa bugudha.....kwanini msizae tu lazima muoane? zaeni kila mtu ansshika time yake...

Usiwapotoshe wenzako ,wazae then? mtoto anahitaji mapenzi ya baba na mama, unajua kuishi na single parents siyo nzuri kwa mtoto hata kama anpata kila kitu.

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

binafsi sioni tofauti saana..from mum and dad straight to husband!Hiyo freedom ya peke yangu natamani kama ningeionja na mimi nikajua utamu wake! Anyway I dont regret much though..its all good for me.

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

Kuoa bugudha.....kwanini msizae tu lazima muoane? zaeni kila mtu ansshika time yake...

Huyo mtoto mtakaemzaa, nani atabeba jukumu la kumlea?
How will shared parenting be like??... hapo ndiyo watu watatoana macho.Ushasikia wanawake wanaowapelekea wanaume watoto maofisini na kuwaachia?

 

[Shingo]

Ingawa napenda committed relationships na nina ndoa for more than 10 years, nadhani ndoa is too much a burden. I love my kids and my wife and my family as whole.

Lakini looking back and given choice today, I will choose to be single ... yes single. Unfortunately nimeshaoa na nina watoto. Nalazimika kumridhisha mke wangu na ..... may be I'm a negotiator ... pleaser and I feel I'm giving to much for too little!

Perfection katika relation ni aim, but it is elusive.