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Bora nimeoa sasa!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kana-Ka-Nsungu, May 19, 2009.

  1. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 19, 2009
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    Jana nilipata flashback ya enzi zangu wakati nilipokuwa single nikagundua kuwa nilikuwa nahangaika tu, najitesa. Kila demu nilikua namuona mzuri na nataka kumvua nguo tu, naweza piga tungi afu usiku wa manane naanza kupiga masimu kwa vicheche wote kwenye phonebook yangu,naishia kuchoma kiwese kwenda mbaaaali kufuata demu tu, nilikua nikiwa kwenye mawindo sioni uvivu kutumia, nasahau kabisa jinsi nilivyozisotea hela zangu kwenye boksi, hela ilikuwa haikai- ilikuwa ni misosi, mitungi, mikasi na pamba tu! Nikitoka job napitia mahali kula then naendeleza tungi,kujirusha na kuwinda- by then nilikua naona poa tu, I was enjoying life lakini looking back now- I think it was sad, really sad.
    Je umeoa/olewa? Unaona mbaliko gani sasa compared to your days of being single? Hujaoana/olewa na umri umesonga? Kwanini?
     
  2. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 19, 2009
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    ...aisee tangu nimeoa muda mrefu sana nimekuwa nakaa long distance na mywife wangu, recently ameni join huku nilipo. Miezi miwili mitatu ya mwanzoni ilikuwa 'fungate' kama kawaida, lakini miezi michache iliyopita nimeanza kupatwa na msongo wa mawazo kutamania ule u single life niliokuwa nao mwanzoni... si balaa hili?
     
  3. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 19, 2009
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    Ebo! Mbu vipi tena!? My wife wako si ulimleta mwenyewe? Sasa kipi baada ya miezi mitatu kinachokufanya uanze kuwa doubtful about your decision? Je, unakosa uhuru wako uliokuwa nao wa kwenda nyumba ndogo kabla hajaja!? :)
     
  4. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 19, 2009
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    Naona umeweka msisitizo wa hali ya juu 'mywife wangu', ni wako tu mkuu peke yako usijali!..
    Sidhani kama unatamani kivile usingle kama zamani sema ulikuwa na hamu(ugwadu) nae sana na alivyokuja 24/7 mkawa ni fungate na mawazo kama hayo lakini sasahivi umezoea ukaribu wake unaona kawaida. You can renew the fungate thing na kufurahia kwa hali ya juu.
     
  5. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 19, 2009
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    ...Ohoooo, ....shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BaK nawe mbona unaongea kwa sauti hivyooo? ...yaani paaaaaaaaaa! ...kwanza na kuanza ushanituhumu na 'kujivinjari' :) ...No way bana. Nazungumzia hiii Credit CRUNCH! ...Sijui nami nijinyonge?
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 19, 2009
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    ...hapo kwenye wekundu hapo, ndio unanizidisha hofu!

    ...unajua, Kwa miaka sita mfululizo...kila baada ya miezi mitatu tulikuwa na 'fungate', either yeye alikuwa anakuja, au mimi nilikuwa nakwenda,...now it's is for real,...hakuna wa kwenda wala wa kuja,...tumebanana hapa hapa karibia tunaanza kufanana, arrgghhh!

    Kana Ka Nsungu, ubora wake nini unaouona wewe hapa? am bored!
     
  7. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 19, 2009
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    nlivyokuwa single nilikuwa na uhuru wa kujiamulia mambo yangu, niende wapi nifanye nini na nini na bila kumshirikisha mtu, kwasasa ni ile mpaka useme/uombe ruhusu ya kwenda mahali na uweza kukubaliwa au kukataliwa!
     
  8. Msanii

    Msanii JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 19, 2009
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    Nampa hongera Kana kansungu kwa kuleta mada hii.
    Mie nimeoa na ninathubutu kusema maisha ya ndoa ni matamu kuliko watu wanavyodhani. maana kumbe hata yale mabifu na takataka zinginezo ni katika kupamba malavidavi.

    Wale ambao hawajaoa nawashauri wafikirie mara mbili na wale waliooa wasisite kuwa na nyumba ndogo endapo wanataka kudumisha ndoa zao. hehehehe
    Mzee wa kudiffer
     
  9. t

    tapeli Member

    #9
    May 19, 2009
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    why did u get married then???
     
  10. K

    Kifimbocheza JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 19, 2009
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    Walioko ndani ya Ndoa wanataka kutoka na walio nje ya Ndoa wanataka kuingia.....................ufffffff kwi kwi kwi kaaaaaaaaaaazi kweli kweli SACHI IZI LAIFU
     
  11. M

    Maamuma JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 19, 2009
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    Kana-Ka-Nsungu hongera sana. Mshukuru Mungu kwa hatua uliyofikia na endelea kumuomba aendelee kudumisha hiyo amani na furaha uliyo nayo katika ndoa yako. Nyumba nyingine zinaanza vizuri lakini baadaye zinapoteza mwelekeo na kuishia pabaya.
    Asante kwa kuwatia moyo wale ambao hawajaingia katika jumuiya ya waliooa/olewa ili wahamasike kuingia.
    Mimi binafsi, ningeyajua haya ninayoyajua sasa, nisingeingia. Bado nipo ndani ya ndoa na naiheshimu siku zote lakini...... I was happier when single (ingawa sikuwahi kurukaruka). Namshukuru Mungu nina watoto, wananifariji na in a way kupunguza makali ya majuto.
    Mungu awabariki wote walio ndani ya ndoa na hata wale wanao-plan kuingia. Nyumba zenu ziwe na amani, baraka, upendo na yote yaliyo mema.
    Amen.
     
  12. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 19, 2009
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    KKN hongera aisee wengi wetu hapa tunataka kutoka ( sijaolewa bado...soon InshaAllah), hoping that i will love it and never wnat to be single again.....tiririiririririiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    Mbu..............mmmmnh sijui nisemeje ....umenisikitisha sana....yaani role model wangu amenilet down kabisa...............lol
     
  13. C

    ChiefmTz JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 19, 2009
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    Duu!!!!!!! Kaka wantisha ati! make nilikuwa naplani kumhamishia MY WIFE wangu ili tujoin huku nilikohamishiwa. Hebu naomba kujua zaidi kulikoni. Waweza hata kuniPM iwapo utaona kuwa haipendezi kumwaga mambo hadharani.
     
  14. Albedo

    Albedo JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 19, 2009
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    Maamuma Cheki status yangu hapo

    Asante Kana
     
  15. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 19, 2009
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    Kwa kweli, I must admit kwamba mwanzoni nilistruggle kucope kama ndugu yangu Mbu, suala kubwa linalokera ni kule kupoteza uhuru, ulikuwa umezoea kufanya unachotaka bila hata kuomba ruhusa au kujadiliana na mtu and all of a sudden huwezi kutumia neno 'mimi' na ni mwendo wa 'sisi'. Kila simu au text inayoingia unatakiwa uitolee maelezo, lakini kama umeamua kuoa ujue hiyo ni part and parcel yake na ni lazima uwe na commitment kwenye ndoa, wengi tunaoa just bse we have to lakini hatuko tayari ku settle down na kujicommit kwa mpenzi mmoja, ujue ukiingia kwenye ndoa your whole life style and routine will change and this is the most difficult and scary part of it. Lakini niwaambie ndugu zangu, ku settle ni natural process, it gets to a point unajiuliza 'Hivi nahangaika nini?', 'kuna kitu gani ambacho sijafanya?' and deep down in your heart you feel guilty, your behaviour and actions make you unhappy, kila siku ni ku argue na kununiana tu, and you know you are the cause of it all!

    Wale ambao mko nje ya ndoa ni muhimu sana uchague mke/mume ambaye uko compartible naye, compartibility is the key factor kwenye ndoa. Ni muhimu muwe mnashare common interests na to get this right unatakiwa usikurupuke kuoa, take your time umsome mtarajiwa wako, kama hamuendani usione haya kumtosa coz hata ukimuoa itakuwa ni pressure tu na mnaweza ishia kwenye divorce. Mimi binafsi nilitengeneza short list ya candidates wawili ambao nilikuwa najivinjari nao kipindi hicho na wote niliwaweka under probation , hii ilinclude kuishi na kila mmoja wao kwa muda mfupi, at the end I think I got the right choice, just dont rush it, take your time.
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 19, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...shishi, hujajua tu "mganga hajigangi?" ...madhila yangu ni matokeo ya thread kama uliyoianzisha wewe japo hujatuletea feedback. Waikumbuka hii? ;


    ...nitauvuka tu mtihani huu Inshaallah, ni suala la adjustments ndogo ndogo tu kwenye maisha ya kila siku :(

    ...shukran!!!

    Umesema yote, tena nimefarijika kumbe siko peke yangu katika hilo! Jamani uhuru ni kitu bora nyie, o hooo! kama hauko tayari kuulizwa maswali ulopatwa kuulizwa mwaka 47 na mama yako, mfano; "...Umetoka wapi? ...hulali!?" nk, bora uendelee na useja...
     
  17. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 19, 2009
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    "Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener."
     
  18. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 19, 2009
    Joined: Jul 10, 2008
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    Saafi saaaaaana KKK. Yaani tusijidanganye eti oh nasubiri tu mpaka siku ya harusi ndipo madam au mume uanze kishi naye kwa muda mrefu. Hata kama mnaishi kwa muda on and off ile ya kumega tunda lakini bado mnahitaji muda mrefu kuishi pamoja ili kufahamiana zaidi. Hapa napingana na wachungaji wote, makasisi, mapadre yaani viongozi wote wa dini hasa wakristo. Ndoa nyingi zimekufa forever, nyingine ziko ICU, nyingine ziko njiani na ambulence kupelekwa ICU, nyingine ziko kitandani zinagumia bado kufika hospitali, nyingine ni wagonjwa mahututi watarajiwa. Zote hizi ni matokea ya either kutofahamiana mapema kitabia so you are incompartible kama blood groups so for sure the marriage willl clot!!!

    Mimi niliishi na my better-half wangu kwa muda mrefu, tukafanya homeworks zote za couples independently na kufanya corrections together. I love my marriage life, we miss each other, we have become marriage counselors. And nikisikia mtu anaoa au kolewa kama namfahamu huwa tu namuuliza "Je unamfahamu na kumjua vilivyo mtarajiwa wako?" Huwa napata response mbalimbali hapa. Bottom line, watu wengi wanaingia katika ndoa for the sake ya kuoa/kuolewa bila kufanya analyses ya maisha halisi ya ndoa, kibaya mno kila mmoja anakuwa na matarajio tofauti kabisa kutoka kwa mwenzake, mwishowe yasipofikia ni kiama cha Talaka au a hell family life. Watch out guys!!!
     
  19. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 19, 2009
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    Kwa hiyo bado upo single?
     
  20. m

    mmaroroi JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 19, 2009
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    Sasa ili ndoa idumu ni nini hasa kifanyike ili wanaotaka kuingia wasihofu kuingia.
     
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