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Alama za nyakati(?)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 23, 2008
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    wakuu, kazi na dawa, maana mafisadi wanakula vichwa waweza jisahau majukumu ya nyumbani pia. katika pita pita zangu nimekumbana na jamaa na maswali yake mengi,

    kisa?

    hana imani na mama watoto wake, anadhani kuna mtu 'anamsaidia'.

    anasema;

    mke kaacha kusuka minyoosho, mabutu na kuchana afro, sasa anashinda saloon kutengeneza nyusi na hair extensions sijui weaving almuradi kila wikiendi hayupo nyumbani!

    Mobile fone yake (mke) hataki tena mumewe aiguse!, tena kwa nyodo 'shemeji' kila akiingia nyumbani tu anaizima simu yake! mbaya zaidi kwa jamaa yangu, simu imewekwa Pin lock, just incase!

    eti (mke) kabadili nguo za kazini, sasa anavaa suti za mini sketi badala ya 'za' suruali, na kazidisha manukato ya bei mbayaaaa...

    sijathubutu kumuuliza mambo ya chumbani, maana 'inaelekea' kila dalili jamaa anahesabu boriti usiku!

    Anyway, pamoja na kumliwaza kote kwamba mama watoto anatingisha tu kiberiti, jamaa hataki kuelewa, naona mwenzangu ana sink into mid life crisis, naona soon atapata depression!

    Je kama ingelikuwa ni wewe, alama gani zaidi zingekuashiria kugeuka kwa upepo?

    ...yeshakukumba weye??? ...
     
  2. Pundit

    Pundit JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 24, 2008
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    Marriage, such misery...
     
  3. mbarikiwa

    mbarikiwa JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 24, 2008
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    Hii ni Ndoana.
     
  4. J

    Jongwe JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 25, 2008
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    Du! labda tuseme ni kipindi cha mpito, na jamaa ana imani ipo siku bi mkubwa atatulia. Swali linabaki usalama wa kiafya upo? Pamoja na hayo nampa pole...
     
  5. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 25, 2008
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    Bado ana mng'ang'ania wa nini?Hajiamini kuwa anaweza kulea watoto mwenywe..ampe talaka aende zake..kama ni watoto anaweza kuwalea uko waliko hata kama i kwa mama yao...

    Kuliko kuishi na huo msalaba,mwanadamu haishi mara mbili...ya nini kujitesa na mawazo na suddenly changes za maisha kwa mkewe?

    Achana nae sio wako tena.
     
  6. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 25, 2008
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    Maswali muhimu:-
    Je huyo jamaa na huyo mkewe wameishi muda gani katika ndoa yao? Je akijifanyia evaluation anaona ni kitu gani kinakosekana kwake!? Yawezekana kabisa huyu jamaa akawa ndio chanzo cha mambo haya yote... ni bora ipatikane picha kamili ya kitu kinachoendelea kati ya hawa watu wawili!!

    Naomba pia itambulike kwamba kuna mambo mengi yanayochangia uaminifu kupotea ktk ndoa ikiwa ni pamoja na:
    - Kuboreka
    - Kukosa imani na mwenza wako
    - Kutokujiamini (Self insecurity) ambayo mara nyingi hupelekea mwenza kutaka kuonyesha uwezo wake kwa kulipiza kisasi
    - Kwa wanawake kukosa mambo mapya katika maisha ya kila siku... sio vizuri kuwa na monotonous routines katika maisha > mtoe out, mpe surprises hata kama ni ndogondogo zinaleta mwamko ktk ndoa

    Kwa hiyo suala hapa sio kulalamika ila fanya self evaluation an uone unafit vipi na unafanya nini katika mahusiano yenu!!

    Ifanye ndoa yako iwe ya furaha kwa kutimiza wajibu wako kama mwanaume ktk ndoa!!
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 25, 2008
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    ...duh, mawazo mazuri, ila mazoea nayo yana taabu kwa hoja zote mbili mlizotoa, vipi ikiwa tit for tat? ...mamaa akienda Saloon, jamaa aende Gym!

    ...Mimi naona bora huyo Mke anayezima mobile fone akiingia nyumbani, kuliko yule mwenye kuongelea simu chooni usiskie!!!
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 25, 2008
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    ...mkuu dmussa shukran, ila sidhani kama tunawatendea haki tukiwahukumu kwa muda walokaa katika maisha ya ndoa. Kwangu mimi kuishi kama mke na mume miaka mitatu au thelathini na tatu yote ni commitment.

    Suala muhimu ninalokubaliana nawe hapa ni 'vijimambo' kama hivyo alivyoavianzisha huyo mwanamama vinasaidia kwa namna moja au nyingine kumfanya mumewe 'apandishe mzuka', AKA 'adrenaline rush', lakini nionavyo (kama wanaume wengi) anachokosea jamaa yangu ni interpretation ya situation.

    Nakuunga mkono katika monotonous routine. Love ni kama cat & mouse story, panya akishakamatwa excitement nayo inakwisha, bora huyo mwanamama anavyo renew the rules of the game every once in while.
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 25, 2008
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    ...Mbaya zaidi; Jamaa kila siku jioni keshazowea baada ya shughuli za kutwa nzima, anakutana na watu wazima wenzake kwa masaa matatu manne kujiburudisha na vinywaji,na kubadilishana mawazo juu ya 'leo katika JF' na dunia kwa jumla.

    Ubaya, unakuja pale alipogundua kwa siku tatu mfululizo kabla hajatoka nyumbani kwenda 'kikaoni', mkewe naye (ingawa haikuwa tabia yake!) tayari anakuwa keshakoga, kajiremba, anamsubiri atoke,...

    akimuuliza anaenda wapi anasema haendi kokote!
     
  10. Kidzogolae

    Kidzogolae Senior Member

    #10
    Apr 25, 2008
    Joined: Apr 20, 2008
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    Ningekuwa mimi, ningeshamkodia majambazi wammalize muda mrefu, ili nioe mtu mwingine ambae hata nisumbua moyo wangu. kwanini aninyanyase na icho kidudu chake? salaaa leeee. kudadeki za kijotijoti.
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 25, 2008
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    asalaaalee! taratibu mkuu,...

    Kina dada na kina mama naona 'mme'myuti', au ndio mnatuachia 'tujikaange' wenyewe?

    naombeni/nakaribisha na nyie michango ya mawazo yenu, maana si mnajua tena siku hizi sie kina baba magonjwa ya BP, stroke, sukari nk yanatafuta 'tensions' kama hizi?! ;)
     
  12. K

    KITHEMBE Member

    #12
    Apr 25, 2008
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    Mie yalishanikuta mwenzenu, nilithoma alama zanyakati nikaona wakati ni ukuta ukishindana nao utaumia mwenyewe.

    Ni bora jamaa akae pembeni kwanza amuache huyo mama ajiburudishe, yatamshinda tu,
     
  13. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 25, 2008
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    mkuu wewe unaongelea mke au kimada?? Mbona itakuwa ni kitu cha ajabu sana kufanya maamuzi ya kuua kwa kuhisi tu mkeo analiwa nje ya ndoa!!
     
  14. Pundit

    Pundit JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 25, 2008
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    Have you ever heard of divorce?
     
  15. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 27, 2008
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    pundit nilipata kuoa mwaka 2005 ndugu yako nilikaa na binti miezi 5 tu nikaacha kila unachokijua weye nikaondoka na nguo zangu...hapo ni baada ya kuteseka sana binti ndani ya mida hiyo aende nje ya nchi bila kuaga arudi aende arudi tukae vikao tusameheane mwisho wa siku rafikiye mpenzi akanjulisha binti ana bwana nje na anaataka kukubebeshea mimba utunze ..kuwa makini..kweli alipoondoka siku nyingine kwenda nje nilisubiri mpaka arudi nkamowmba mungu anisaidie nkamwambia hakuna tunachodaiana mi naonodoka na nguo nilizovaa mwisho akaenda mahakamani nikaomba mungu asaidie itoke mapema la hasha nikawa huru n now niko na gfriend wangu...
    usiombe yakukute unaweza tamani ardhi ipasuke
    nikaanza maisha 1 thanks god am coming up
    usiombe yakukute
     
  16. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 27, 2008
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    iam a divorce man
     
  17. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 28, 2008
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    Ukisikia mtu yuko kwenye ndoa kwa miaka 28 au hata mitano jua ni mvumilivu sana.
    Maisha yamechange sana...kuna watu wako tayari kuacha kufata wadada walioko single na kuja kwa wake za watu hata kama ameonywa.Hili ni tatizo.

    Na kuna vipenzi vya mke vingine ambayo labda ulikuwa nako then kakapotea kwa sababu tofati sasa vinata kuja kuwa vinakula lakini havitaki pale pale pa zamani hata kama pamesha milikiwa na mwingine..hivyo ndio tatizo.

    Huyu mkuu maisha ni makuu yamemkuta kwa kweli,binadamu tunaishi mara moja ya nini kujitesa...ingawa ukienda kwa wazee utaambiwa kuwa vumilia kijana ndio ukubwa huo..mkeo kaa muongee ingawa inakuwa ngumu sana.

    Mie kwa kweli hata niandike vipi kwa kweli kuishi katika maisha ya kuhisi hisi au wasi wasi ni kitu huwa sipendi kabisa..kwa kuwa unapunguza hata ufanisi katika mambo mengine katika maisha.K

    Bora uache aende tu nawe uchukue mwendo mwengine katika maisha.
     
  18. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 28, 2008
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    ...haha Mkuu Buswelu signature yako
    inshabahiana kweli na hayo maneno ya wazee, "vumilia kijana ndio ukubwa huo"!

    anyway, joke apart, Mkuu dmussa hapo awali alipata kugusia kuwa huenda mwanaume kwa kiwango fulani anaweza kuwa amechangia huyu bibie kufanya 'vitimbi' hivi. Labda kuna mambo alikuwa anamfanyia mkewe, sasa kaacha ama ni kwa mazoea 'yakizidi' au kukosa ubunifu, au kwa makusudi tu!

    Licha ya wale wafujaji ambao awali 'walimchezea' bila kumuoa, mbaya zaidi ni mke keshaingia katika ndoa anaongeza namba kwa kufanya ngono na mtu mpya! inabidi sana kuwakumbusha wake zetu kuwa hawa 'vicheche' ni waharibifu tu kama "kwelea kwelea!",


    ...angalia sasa 'fumbo' jingine toka kwa mzee Mwanakijiji kwenye thread ya lugha!

    siku talaka inatoka haooo wanamkimbia anabakia yeye kusaga meno!

    kuna wanaosema eti ukishazaa naye kidogo inakuwa nafuu, kweli? imagine ushazaa naye watoto si chini ya watatu, huko nje kweli nani atabeba jukumu hilo?
     
  19. BiMkubwa

    BiMkubwa JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 28, 2008
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    Mumeomba kina dada wachangie ila kabla nifanye hivyo I am interested to see how men think when cornered in such a situation. Mawazo mengine mazuri mawazo mengine potofu ila bado katika simulizi hii kuna mengi mchongoma hujatuambia

    1. je wana watoto? ni wangapi?
    2. Ndoa hiyo ni ya muda gani?
    3. Wana umri gani wahusika?
    4. Mume anafanya kazi ya aina gani relative na kazi ya mke?

    Ukijibu hayo labda utapata mwangaza kutoka kwa kina dada.

    Pole Predeshe yote ni maisha at least you were not sucked into it big time and you cut it all at the bud. Pole sana.
     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 29, 2008
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    Thanks Bi Mkubwa, kwani maswali yako nayo yanasisimua! vile vile nitajitahidi kulinda identities za wahusika kwa kadri inavyowezekana;

    majibu;

    1. wanao watoto, wawili. wa kiume 9yrs na wakike 6yrs.
    2. ndoa hiyo imetimiza miaka kumi sasa.
    3. Bwana ana 42yrs, bibie ana 38yrs
    4. Bwana ni 'consultant', bibie ni 'Cashier'

    Vipi, upo hapo?

    labda nikupe nyongeza;

    -Income ya bibie ni 3/4 ya income anayopokea Mume.
    -Nyumba wanayoishi ni ya kupanga, mume anajitahidi kumalizia
    jengo huko nje ya mji!
    -Gari wanalotumia ni la mkopo, mke alikopa bank kununua 'usafiri', japo muda mwingi mume ndio analiendesha gari hilo.

    Should I say more? nay!... sidhani kama utauliza elimu gani wanayo, au 'ashakum si matusi' kabila gani.

    Jamaa yangu anavumilia lakini naona uzalendo unakaribia kumshinda. Nisaidie mawazo Bi Mkubwa.
     
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