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When modern ATMs come

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kimbweka, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 2, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A sign in the Bank Lobby will read: "Please note that this Bank is
    installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
    withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
    facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
    accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
    FEMALE procedures will be developed. Please follow the appropriate
    steps for your gender."

    MALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    FEMALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
    [/FONT]
     
  2. Good Guy

    Good Guy JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 2, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
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    Teh teh dats exactly it. They never make anything simple.
     
  3. M

    Mmwaminifu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 2, 2011
    Joined: Oct 15, 2010
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    I think there should be machines for males and ones for females.
     
  4. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #4
    Feb 2, 2011
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
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    Tehe tehe tehe ehehe!!
     
  5. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Feb 3, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    Kibwaka wewe unavituko sana my dear.
    asante ae
     
  6. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 3, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    Karibu dear
     
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