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Vituko vya kizushi

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by IrDA, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. IrDA

    IrDA JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
    Messages: 503
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    1.Sister duu alkuwa ndani ya daladala, tumbo likaanza kumsumbua coz ya gesi. Demu akaona bora ajambe kwa kufuata biti la mziki.... Dah, kweli kajamba kufuata biti freshy na tumbo lika2lia.Alipokuwa akishuka akashangaa kuona wa2 wanamshangaa kichizi, sister duu kujicheki ndo akakumbuka kuwa ameva earphones so mziki alikuwa akisikia mwenyewe..!!!

    2.Majambazi wameteka basi wamekomba kila kitu mpaka nguo. Jambazi mmoja akaanza kuamrisha kama ifuatavyo:
    Jambazi: "Haya nani kabaki na nguo?!"
    Shoga aliyekuwa amekaa na mshkaji akasiki akiropoka...
    "Huyu hapa kabaki na nguo ya ndani!!!"
    Jambazi: "Avue mwenyewe kabla sijampiga risasi kwenye makalio..."


    Jamaa akavua kisha jambazi akaamrisha tena...
    Jambazi: "Haya hivyo hivyo mlivyo kila mtu amgeukie mwenzie, mkumbatiane kisha mfanye mapenzi. Ni amri, haijalishi umekaa na nani..."


    Basi watu kibao wakakomaa, walokaa na madem wakali ikawa sana tu. Kazi ikawa kwa yule jamaa aliyekuwa amekaa na shoga... Yule shoga bila kusita akatabasamu na kumwinamia jamaa huku akimwambia...
    "Haya, anza wewe kufanya..!!!"


    Basi yule shoga akaendelea kuinama huku akimwangalia jamaa kwa smile kubwa.... Daaah, jamaa si akawa hataki... Mara shoga akapiga kelele....
    "KAKA JAMBADHI, KAKA JAMBADHI.... ETI HUYU HATAKI..."

    3. Siku moja tumbili alikuwa anataka kwenda kujiua huko porini, sasa alipofika porini alimuona simba amelala na akaona ni bora nikamchokoze simba ili aniuwe,so tumbili alimnyemelea simba na kumdunga kidole on his ASS, simba alishtuka sana na akasema kwa ukali, ni nani huyo anachezea maisha ? tumbili akamjibu ni mimi, simba akamuuliza kuna yeyote aliyekuona ukinidunga, tumbili akajibu, la hakuna. Simba akamwambia sawa dunga chengine...

    4.Mmasai alienda kwa mara ya kwanza kuchoma sindano hospitalini...


    Alipoanza kuchomwa ghafla akamuuliza nesi, "Uuuuuuwi, we mama yoyo, bado jaona tundu huko nyuma mpaka natoboa ingine?!"

    5.MIELEKA NOMA.....! Mtoto aliamka usiku baada ya kuckia mechi kati ya baba na mama kupamba moto-Mtoto akamkuta baba yupo juu, miguu ya mama ameipeleka mbele usawa wa kichwa, yeye akajua ile ni mieleka Live bila refa akaamka.....kuchungulia mabega ya mama yote yamegusa godoro akaanza kupiga godoro huku akihesabu.....PA! Moja,PA! Mbili. PA! Tatu! Akamshika mkono baba na kumwambia umeshinda....!!!



    Kwa leo naisha hapa!!!
     
  2. M

    MyTz JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Sep 20, 2011
    Messages: 334
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    hahahahahahahah...
    ...kufuata biti fresh - mambo ya duu
    kaka jambadhi........mambo ya punga
    u made my day mkulu...
     
  3. Adrian Stepp

    Adrian Stepp Verified User

    #3
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Jul 1, 2011
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    unajitahidi hivo hivo
     
  4. f

    fisadimpya Senior Member

    #4
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Oct 27, 2011
    Messages: 121
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    nimebakiwa na mbavu 2
     
  5. matumbo

    matumbo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
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    No 1 nimeikubali,yani sista duu kaachia zinga la ushuzi
     
  6. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    haya bana; hahahahahaha
     
  7. Washawasha

    Washawasha JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 7, 2006
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    noma tupu,kongratulesheni tu yu. Nalog off
     
  8. mchemsho

    mchemsho JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Jun 8, 2011
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    Veeery funnyyyy,..mweee..!
     
  9. IrDA

    IrDA JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
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    asanteni,ntajitahidi kuongeza na nyengne
     
  10. T

    THK DJAYZZ JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Sep 14, 2011
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    Copy & paste
     
  11. IrDA

    IrDA JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
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    Hahaha!we vipi..sasa kama copy n paste we inakuuma nini,je kama mi ndo orginal source,kwanza aliyeweka funnction ya copy and paste kwenye computer si ni kwa ajili ya vitu kama hivi.Usijifanye unajua sana jiite google basi
     
  12. b

    bpouz Member

    #12
    Nov 7, 2011
    Joined: May 26, 2008
    Messages: 36
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    du mshikaj anzisha kundi lako la komedy na ww ndo uwe seki wao te te te
     
  13. WAHEED SUDAY

    WAHEED SUDAY JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Jun 24, 2011
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    Huyu aliyekuwa anaita kaka jambazi nadhani alikuwa mzee cameron
     
  14. T

    THK DJAYZZ JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Sep 14, 2011
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    Mr google
     
  15. IrDA

    IrDA JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
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    Show yours
     
  16. G

    Great Thinker Member

    #16
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
    Messages: 17
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    hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhhahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
     
  17. Clarity

    Clarity JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 8, 2011
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    Mmasai kiboko
     
  18. AMINATA 9

    AMINATA 9 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Aug 6, 2011
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    hahaaaaaaaa u made ma day boy
     
  19. T

    THK DJAYZZ JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Nov 8, 2011
    Joined: Sep 14, 2011
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    Just wait ... network search. loading...98%
     
  20. G

    Grey87 Member

    #20
    Nov 9, 2011
    Joined: Oct 29, 2011
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    Mia mzeeeya !!!!!!
     
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