The man whos single at 40 plus Submit Cancel Rating By CIKU, www.facebook.com/misscikuPosted Friday, November 12 2010 at 18:35 Fat is in, thin is out! Its official! Theres a Mapenzi segue on myshow where we do hook ups for the lonely souls. Theres one set of people that always get the most responses Fat women. Men love them, cant get enough of them. And so it came to pass that one fine evening, one such woman wanted a hook up. She described herself as over 100kgs and looking for a Sonko type of chap to date. The responses were many. One of them came directly to my phone. A friend of mine wanted her number. I passed it on to him, and the next day, called her with the other responses we had received. After we were done, I asked her if anyone had been in touch the day before. Some guy called me but hes over 40 and unmarried so Im not interested, there must be something wrong with him, she said. I made it clear to her that if this guy was interested, then she should at least meet him You wanted a loaded chap? I asked. Sonko aint got nothing on him! But she was weary. How interesting. Dismissing a single, good looking, charming, wealthy guy, based on him being over 40? Really? Number two It got me thinking Is there something wrong with a guy who has advanced in years and hasnt yet settled down? I know a number of them so I decided to call and get them to spill the beans. From Sonko: I have commitment phobia because I like my space, Im not too sure I can have someone around me every day of my life without feeling suffocated. And not just women. When family comes around to visit and they stay too long, I check into a hotel. By golly. I once broke up with a chick I really liked because we went on holiday together. Seeing her every day for two weeks was too much! I know what youre thinking, that the mapenzi girl was right and he is a beer short of a six-pack, but I totally understand me time. If I was that girl, Id have been happy to shop till I drop (Im dating Sonko, right?) and let him have all the time to himself that helikes! Bachelor number two is smart, funny as hell and methinks, a genuinely nice guy. He was very popular with the girls in his hey day, so he doesnt have those trying-to-make-up-for-my-lost-youth moments that some guys have. Hes been there, done that, bought the T-shirt! Hes a perfect gentleman but you never really know what hes thinking. "Commitment phobia isnt quite it, I think it was more of fear of failure after the commitment. My parents split when I was five and I think Ive always been wary of getting into a marriage if I couldnt visualise myself with the person many years down the line. As utopian, and unfair, as this sounds, if I didnt buy into the lady 100 per cent, I would have reservations about putting all into the relationship." "Frankly I prefer having a partner to a wife but there arent many women out there who would be content with such a relationship because it doesnt have the standard security features of a marriage. Am I happy? Yes. Could I be happier with a partner? Yes." The last guy shouldve been married years ago. Hes great. Bubbly personality, wise, looks like hed be a great dad, treats women with respect and is a man of means. So why, is there no wife?I didnt make a conscious decision not to marry. You just wake up one day and realise the years have rolled by. Im not opposed to the concept at all, Id be happy to settle down. I have met women whom I have liked but it doesnt flow. They look at me and tick off a check list He is single, he is of means, nice house, nice car Lets getmarried! They want the package but one can always tell when emotion is not involved, theyre not genuine so you move on. Any woman would be lucky to have any of these three guys, so in my opinion, if he is over 40 and single, there isnt necessarily something wrong with him. He didnt want to settle for average. He is holding out for Miss Perfect. And whats wrong with that? Most marriages are falling apart because everyone (being in a rush to get hitched and get a family) never really looked at the person they were vowing before God to spend eternity with. In the words of a French philosopher and writer, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, whose novels inspired leaders of the French revolution: Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.