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Politically Correct

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mr.Toyo, Aug 12, 2011.

  1. Mr.Toyo

    Mr.Toyo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 12, 2011
    Joined: Feb 9, 2007
    Messages: 433
    Likes Received: 1
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    We all know how literally impossible it is to not offend SOMEONE these days, everyone is just SO ****ING TOUCHY... So this guide will help you on how to speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...
    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

    She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

    She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

    She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

    She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

    She is not a TWO BIT *****; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

    He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
    FACILITY.

    He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

    He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
    DESTINATIONS.

    He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

    He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
    RELATIONSHIPS.

    He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

    He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
    INVERSION.

    He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

    He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

    He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
    He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
    He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
    He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
    He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
    He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
    He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
    He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT
     
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