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More santa & banta

Discussion in 'Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko' started by Bujibuji, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 11, 2010
    Joined: Feb 4, 2009
    Messages: 27,177
    Likes Received: 5,415
    Trophy Points: 280
    Santa: I have swallowed a key.
    Doctor: When?
    Santa: 3 months back!
    Doctor: What were you doing till now?
    Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
    Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
    Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You
    know
    why?
    Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Ultimate answer while changing the job.
    Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
    Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying
    furiously...
    Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
    Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa wanted to make a STD.. call to Punjab,
    He wanted to save money so what did he do?
    Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........
    Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein "Delivery Free" hai.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
    Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab
    Santa : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Santa: Any great man born in this
    village?
    Santa: no sir, only small Babies!!!
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Teacher: A for?
    Santa: Apple
    Teacher: Jor se ****?
    Santa: Jay mata di.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
    Santa says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa orders pizza.
    Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
    Santa: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
    Santa: Who r u?
    Girl: Seeta here.
    Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
    Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
    When a person asked what he was doing?
    He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    2 sardars were fighting after exam.
    Sir: Y r u fighting?
    1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
    Sir: So what?
    1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
    Hi! I am sardar,
    this is my sardarni,
    he is my kid,
    & she is my kidney.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Santa: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
    Banta: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him..
     
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