Life as a bachelor, shouldn't be this hard

[Heaven Sent]

heaven sent nakusubiri twendeeee

Usiniambie unaenda jamani

 

[Kasie]

I never thought these to be places for Kasinde to visit...shocking in a nice way!..

Hahahahahaaa umdhaniaye ndiye siye and vice versa. .......

Mwaka jana au mwaka juzi kulifungwa harusi moja hivi pale church kati ya members wa t-shirt and jeans ...... I was in the wedd mass to the hall...... and there after am a very good visitor there now and then and when ever am in Dar .........

Hahahhahahaha ....... Mentaliiii

 

[Kiranga]

When I was a shortie, I couldn’t wait to grow up and experience the bachelorhood. The visions I saw on the telly about bachelor’s life gave me thrills, man. I figured I’d be at the best peak of my bachelorhood in my earlier 30s. That’s when you’re more mature, wiser, manlier, more financially stable, more self aware; short story longer, that’s when a brotha becomes eligible. I still got a few numbers to get there and witness if my dreams‘re valid, but damn man! The road’s not as clear.

Well, since you made this my business by posting here. I will ponder and give my perspective, which need not coincide with yours.

Is the road not as clear or is your sense of choice distorted. Do you even know what you want?

Here are my blues…


What to eat?

I don’t about you, but this is a big issue to me. I only enjoy food when I’m surrounded by the people I like. When I’m alone, I only eat to live. So the challenge I face almost every day, is pondering what to eat. This has become a nuisance to me. I figured if I had a missus, I’d never have to worry about this, but I still would want to live my dream bachelorhood era. I really hate using my energy on thinking what to eat.

The real problem here would be if you did not have the means to eat. You remind me of a "Word Up" article back in the nineties, one of the Kriss Kross kids was describing his problems. One of his problem was choosing which sneakers to wear. At a time when kids in Tanzania were going to school with no shoes.

If you do not have the means to eat that is a problem. If you do, choice is not a problem. I had the choice dilemma when I first came to the US. Back home we had very few things to choose from, choice was easy. Ugali or wali, nyama or veggies, perhaps samaki. In the US I was bombarded with thousands of brands, each with numerous versions. I disciplined myself to stick to what I knew well and branch out experimentally slowly. You can eat out/ order in everyday, and depending on where you are, you can order something that you will eat for three days, just for sustenance, you don't need to really enjoy every meal (especially if you can't enjoy a meal unless it is communal). You can save communal meals for weekends. You can't have a party everyday. It wouldn't be a party.

You don't have to enjoy food all the time. That will have an effect of lessening the enjoyment.

Order in the crib

Man! I’m a one messy person, my confession. When I step out, I’m styled up and all slick. I get mad props for being on point with my stigity very often, and I say to myself “If only y’all could see where I sleep..”. And don’t judge me; I’d try and put my crib in order for like 2/3 days, then (I think) there’s mofo who doesn’t like me that comes in when I’m not around and mess it up, so I gave up. I’m still saving for a CCTV cam, so I can catch the sucker on tape. I got 2 laundry baskets, which for reasons I don’t even understand myself, have been replaced by a couch.

Every morning I have to spend about 10/15 minutes just doing the sniff test to pick between my 2 pairs of socks and a few vests to put on for the day, cuz I’m allergic to washing powders, so I don’t wash as often. I been doing these tests for some time now, canines ain’t got nothing on me anymore.

Here’s where I ‘specially miss my mums, man. I never woulda moved out on my own had I been around.

There are two levels here.

The first is the hygiene level. Things must be washed even if on a delayed schedule. Else you will start to sneeze more and catch this or smell funny.

But also there is that neatfreak level of order that is not really necessary. We have to live in our homes, and that means order will decay somehow. It is the second law of thermodynamics, nothing that exists in time escapes it. So I have developed a system, let things get messy, up to a point, then clean. You can't clean all the time, that would not be efficient. The effort to clean will be more than the improvement achieved by the cleaning.

Don't let it get too messy though. You will start to los key and sheesh and that will not be good for your mental health.

Unless you want to impress visitors - only diplomatic people, people in early stages of courtship and low self esteem individuals do this- you have no reason to live by other peoples standard of what is appropriate in your own home. It is supposed to be your home, make it. I know a University professor whose home is so messy with books and papers you can't believe it, but he has a simple explanation. He is doing it for the children (students).

Loneliness

I guess this is the biggest one. I got friends I often roll with. I got a plenty hunnies I often mack around with. Got the coolest job I could wish for, that allows me to meet different people from all parts of the world every day. But once I lock my door behind me at night, that’s when the reality kicks in that my life is pathetic. It gets lonely showering, eating, sleeping, and waking up alone, man.


Imagine waking up in the morning needy for some nasty, and the only nurse around is Ms Handy. I’m not gonna sit around and act all un-grateful to her, but I think we’ve experienced it all already that it’s no fun anymore. Ms Handy doesn’t converse, doesn’t cuddle, doesn’t do positions, can’t role play, can’t surprise you, don’t have a tongue. Only advantages from doing it with her, is the fact that she won’t fake an orgasm, and you ain’t got to worry about her reaching that place they never reach and blame it on us.


I could go on b!tching all day long, but all I’m tryna say is, I’m at a boiling point. I’m not sure anymore if I’ll be able to live my “dream”, but I’m for 100 that I won’t make it in this life without a lady by my side. And I think I speak for every brotha when I say; LADIES, WE NEED YOU.


TGIF.

If you need a lady, get a lady. Then do not start to complain about not having your freedom to do whatever you want at whatever hour with whomever you decide.

 

[Waseme]

unaweza kupata mtu akakupa kichaa hadi ukatamani kurudi kwenye upweke wako.....ogopa haya makitu yanayoitwa mapenzi.....

 

[lup]

Unajitahidi kuonyesha umahili....hay a atafikilia

........... but can't find a wife lol. But, I think Paul was simply appreciating our existence . You guys need us, so are we!!!

 

[mdukuzi]

I’m married (of course), and I can say one of the reasons I think that my marriage lasts is that neither my wife nor I want to have to be single again. I would have no clue how to do it and after reading this, I’m pretty convinced that it doesn’t sound fun…oddly enough, I truly believe I have forgotten how to be single.

I found the part about dating someone a friend has dated to be a bit interesting. Although, I think each one of us has our own likes and dislikes, I can say when I was dating I had absolutely no desire to date someone one of my buddies might have dated. IT just seemed…um…well…dirty (for lack of a better word) after one of my friends had “been there and done that”…

 

[Mangungo II]

Tupacified has refused to give u company mister Paulo

Just wake up ur alter ego

 

[nimbagonza]

May God bring you some one to keep you company I hate this kind of life too! I'm so sick of it!

 

[Benny]

"But once I lock my door behind me at night, that's when reality kicks in that my life is pathetic"

Hapo ni pagumu sana unless upitie Bar ya jirani kichwa kikiiva unanyoosha mpaka kitandani.

 

[platozoom]

Sometimes yes sometimes no. Kwa mfano sasa hivi kanipigia bebe na kuanza lawama, nilipoona atazidi nikamute simu na kuiweka kando. Just imagine angekuwa ndani day and night!!

Ila pia mwenza ni jambo jema. Unakuwa na Mtu wa kushea naye mazuri na mabaya. Sense of responsibility nk.

Wakati mwingine unaweza kushangaa pamoja na Mtu kuachana na Mke wake lakini bado anaoa tena!!

Ila Mimi bado niponipo angalau kipindi cha mpito. Team bachela

 

[Heaven Sent]

Sometimes yes sometimes no. Kwa mfano sasa hivi kanipigia bebe na kuanza lawama, nilipoona atazidi nikamute simu na kuiweka kando. Just imagine angekuwa ndani day and night!!

Ila pia mwenza ni jambo jema. Unakuwa na Mtu wa kushea naye mazuri na mabaya. Sense of responsibility nk.

Wakati mwingine unaweza kushangaa pamoja na Mtu kuachana na Mke wake lakini bado anaoa tena!!

Ila Mimi bado niponipo angalau kipindi cha mpito. Team bachela

Kama tu kuwa single kuna challenges zake, vivyo hivyo na kuwa kwenye mahusiano hakukosi changamoto, mind you haupo na malaika. Cha muhimu tu ni jinsi mnavyokabiliana na changamoto zenu, kusonga mbele zaidi na sio changamoto zicreate gap kati yenu. Huwezi kucheka tu muda wote siku 365 zote

 

[zeus47]

Just don't go buy em from out there...stay up late, watch a movie, write, read, play PES...haiondoi boredom ila inapunguza risky behaviour!

*Play FIFA Mkuu, PES haina Dili

 

[platozoom]

Kama tu kuwa single kuna challenges zake, vivyo hivyo na kuwa kwenye mahusiano hakukosi changamoto, mind you haupo na malaika. Cha muhimu tu ni jinsi mnavyokabiliana na changamoto zenu, kusonga mbele zaidi na sio changamoto zicreate gap kati yenu. Huwezi kucheka tu muda wote siku 365 zote

Hapo ni kama unapika magimbi kwa rimoti. Sema tuanze lini kuwa kapo, nimechoka miye

 

[mzawahalisi]

Human beings will never be satisfied until our death. at college i could not stop dreaming such a life.

When i got it, at first with a huge entourage i thought this is it. i enjoyed clubbing and drinking with no one to answer to. but it did not take long, the theory of diminishing marginal utility applied.I started feeling like you do now.

Then the wifey race began and now am enjoying it. But some times i want to have both the wife and bachelor life all together :-:-\

 

[Clueless14]

 

[STUNTER]

Life has no Formular...

 

[jernest5]

When I was a shortie, I couldn’t wait to grow up and experience the bachelorhood. The visions I saw on the telly about bachelor’s life gave me thrills, man. I figured I’d be at the best peak of my bachelorhood in my earlier 30s. That’s when you’re more mature, wiser, manlier, more financially stable, more self aware; short story longer, that’s when a brotha becomes eligible. I still got a few numbers to get there and witness if my dreams‘re valid, but damn man! The road’s not as clear.

Here are my blues…


What to eat?

I don’t about you, but this is a big issue to me. I only enjoy food when I’m surrounded by the people I like. When I’m alone, I only eat to live. So the challenge I face almost every day, is pondering what to eat. This has become a nuisance to me. I figured if I had a missus, I’d never have to worry about this, but I still would want to live my dream bachelorhood era. I really hate using my energy on thinking what to eat.


Order in the crib

Man! I’m a one messy person, my confession. When I step out, I’m styled up and all slick. I get mad props for being on point with my stigity very often, and I say to myself “If only y’all could see where I sleep..”. And don’t judge me; I’d try and put my crib in order for like 2/3 days, then (I think) there’s mofo who doesn’t like me that comes in when I’m not around and mess it up, so I gave up. I’m still saving for a CCTV cam, so I can catch the sucker on tape. I got 2 laundry baskets, which for reasons I don’t even understand myself, have been replaced by a couch.

Every morning I have to spend about 10/15 minutes just doing the sniff test to pick between my 2 pairs of socks and a few vests to put on for the day, cuz I’m allergic to washing powders, so I don’t wash as often. I been doing these tests for some time now, canines ain’t got nothing on me anymore.

Here’s where I ‘specially miss my mums, man. I never woulda moved out on my own had I been around.


Loneliness

I guess this is the biggest one. I got friends I often roll with. I got a plenty hunnies I often mack around with. Got the coolest job I could wish for, that allows me to meet different people from all parts of the world every day. But once I lock my door behind me at night, that’s when the reality kicks in that my life is pathetic. It gets lonely showering, eating, sleeping, and waking up alone, man.


Imagine waking up in the morning needy for some nasty, and the only nurse around is Ms Handy. I’m not gonna sit around and act all un-grateful to her, but I think we’ve experienced it all already that it’s no fun anymore. Ms Handy doesn’t converse, doesn’t cuddle, doesn’t do positions, can’t role play, can’t surprise you, don’t have a tongue. Only advantages from doing it with her, is the fact that she won’t fake an orgasm, and you ain’t got to worry about her reaching that place they never reach and blame it on us.


I could go on b!tching all day long, but all I’m tryna say is, I’m at a boiling point. I’m not sure anymore if I’ll be able to live my “dream”, but I’m for 100 that I won’t make it in this life without a lady by my side. And I think I speak for every brotha when I say; LADIES, WE NEED YOU.


TGIF.

Ha ha ha, i thought you were storytelling mi life. Ladies, we surely need you..

 

[STUNTER]

Ukiwa mpweke shida, ukiwa na mtu shida, sa sijui ufenyeje

 

[john agrey]

 

[Madwari Madwari]

When I was a shortie, I couldn’t wait to grow up and experience the bachelorhood. The visions I saw on the telly about bachelor’s life gave me thrills, man. I figured I’d be at the best peak of my bachelorhood in my earlier 30s. That’s when you’re more mature, wiser, manlier, more financially stable, more self aware; short story longer, that’s when a brotha becomes eligible. I still got a few numbers to get there and witness if my dreams‘re valid, but damn man! The road’s not as clear.

Here are my blues…


What to eat?

I don’t about you, but this is a big issue to me. I only enjoy food when I’m surrounded by the people I like. When I’m alone, I only eat to live. So the challenge I face almost every day, is pondering what to eat. This has become a nuisance to me. I figured if I had a missus, I’d never have to worry about this, but I still would want to live my dream bachelorhood era. I really hate using my energy on thinking what to eat.


Order in the crib

Man! I’m a one messy person, my confession. When I step out, I’m styled up and all slick. I get mad props for being on point with my stigity very often, and I say to myself “If only y’all could see where I sleep..”. And don’t judge me; I’d try and put my crib in order for like 2/3 days, then (I think) there’s mofo who doesn’t like me that comes in when I’m not around and mess it up, so I gave up. I’m still saving for a CCTV cam, so I can catch the sucker on tape. I got 2 laundry baskets, which for reasons I don’t even understand myself, have been replaced by a couch.

Every morning I have to spend about 10/15 minutes just doing the sniff test to pick between my 2 pairs of socks and a few vests to put on for the day, cuz I’m allergic to washing powders, so I don’t wash as often. I been doing these tests for some time now, canines ain’t got nothing on me anymore.

Here’s where I ‘specially miss my mums, man. I never woulda moved out on my own had I been around.


Loneliness

I guess this is the biggest one. I got friends I often roll with. I got a plenty hunnies I often mack around with. Got the coolest job I could wish for, that allows me to meet different people from all parts of the world every day. But once I lock my door behind me at night, that’s when the reality kicks in that my life is pathetic. It gets lonely showering, eating, sleeping, and waking up alone, man.


Imagine waking up in the morning needy for some nasty, and the only nurse around is Ms Handy. I’m not gonna sit around and act all un-grateful to her, but I think we’ve experienced it all already that it’s no fun anymore. Ms Handy doesn’t converse, doesn’t cuddle, doesn’t do positions, can’t role play, can’t surprise you, don’t have a tongue. Only advantages from doing it with her, is the fact that she won’t fake an orgasm, and you ain’t got to worry about her reaching that place they never reach and blame it on us.


I could go on b!tching all day long, but all I’m tryna say is, I’m at a boiling point. I’m not sure anymore if I’ll be able to live my “dream”, but I’m for 100 that I won’t make it in this life without a lady by my side. And I think I speak for every brotha when I say; LADIES, WE NEED YOU.


TGIF.

Your writing skills are immaculate brother, you should consider writing as a hobby.