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Inawezekana hata wewe umeoa au kuolewa na kichaa………………..

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Oct 4, 2011.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Kuna watu wameoa wake au kuolewa na waume ambao ni vichaa au baada ya kuoana wamekuwa vichaa, lakini watu hao wameendelea kuishi na hao wapenzi wao kwa Amani tu na kuwapenda. Huo ndio unaoitwa upendo. Unajua mke au mume wako hayuko sawasawa kiakili lakini uko tayari kuendelea kumjali, kumsikiliza na kujibainisha naye. Lakini kwa bahati mbaya, kama umeoa kichaa au kuolewa na kichaa ambaye ni pasua kichwa, yaani yeye kila siku ni kero tu, tena zinazotafutwa uvunguni zilikojificha, hapo inaweza kuwa ngumu sana kumvumilia. Inaweza kuwa mbaya zaidi kama hukujua kabla kwamba, uliyemwoa au kuoana naye ni kichaa.

    Kuna vichaa vya aina nyingi, kwa mfano, kupenda sana ngono ni kichaa, kupenda sana fedha ni kichaa, kupenda sana sifa na kujionesha ni kichaa, kupenda sana pombe ni kichaa, kupenda sana kukosoa na kulalamika ni kichaa, kupenda sana kupendwa ni kichaa, na vingine vingi.
    Mimi naita hivi ni vichaa kwa sababu kwenye haiba, huo wote ni ukengeuko na unahitaji kupatiwa tiba, hasa ya ushauri. Hebu sasa fikiria umeoa au kuolewa na kichaa mmoja kati ya hao hapo juu, utafanyaje?

    Ni swali gumu sana, lakini linahitaji majibu hata hivyo, kwa sababu nimegundua kwamba, watu wengi kwenye ndoa zao wanaishi na vichaa halisi, ingawa wenyewe huenda hawajui. Labda nikutajie tu baadhi ya dalili za vichaa ambao watu wengi wanaishi nao kwenye ndoa.

    1. Kuna mtu anajali sana kuhusu yeye tu, kuhusu maisha yake na matamanio na utashi wake, bila kujali hisia za wengine, huyu ni kichaa kabisa. Hebu muulize mtaalamu yeyote wa saikolojia. Kama mtu anapima kila anachofanya, kwa mfano anamwambia mwenzie , juzi na jana nimekuoshea gari lako, hata asante hunipi. Huyu naye sio mzima.
    2. Kama mtu anafikiria kutengana au talaka tu, badala ya kufikiria kukabili tatizo na kutafuta suluhu, huyu kabisa hazimo kichwani. Kumbuka watu hawaoani ili waachane, bali huoana wakiwa na dhamira ya kukabiliana changamoto za ndoa ikiwa ni pamoja na kugombana, na pale wanapogombana watatue matatizo yao, na hii hupelekea wanandoa kukomaa. Ndio maana ya huu msemo wa, "wagombanao ndio wapatanao."
    3. Kama ni mtu ambaye anatoa maamuzi kufuatana na hisia badala ya akili, huyu ni kichaa hata ukienda Mirembe (Hospitali ya vichaa iliyoko Mkoani Dododma) watakwambia hivyo.
    4. Mtu akikasirika hajui anachosema wala anachofanya, akifurahi hajui anachofanya wala anachosema, huyu hawezi kuwa mzima. Ukasirike au ufurahi vipi, ni lazima utakuwa unapanga cha kusema.
    5. Kuna wanandoa wenzetu ambao ukitazama sana hawajui hata maana ya maisha, mradi kunakucha. Kwa nini? Kwa mfano, una mume, labda ambaye amepoteza kazi. Badala ya kutafuta kazi, ataanza kukulaumu , ataanza kulewa, ataanza kuchapa umalaya na hatimaye atasema wewe ndiwe mwenye nuksi , umemfanya akapoteza kazi.
    6. Hata wanawake pia unaweza kuoa kichaa, ambaye kazi yake ni kusema nataka hiki, akipewa anasema, ‘nataka kile' akipewa kile anasema , ‘aha, nataka hiki,' ukweli ni kwamba hawezi chochote na hayuko tayari kujifunza. Ni vigumu kichaa kujifunza jambo jipya.

    Ni rahisi kutoka kwenye kichaa ambacho unacho kwenye ndoa yako. Kwanza kama una dini, basi mpokee Mungu, yaani jua baya na zuri. Pili jua kwambakama binadamu, tunatakiwa kuwafikiria wengine,kuwahurumia , kama ambavyo nasi tukihurumiwa tunajisikia vizuri.


    Ukiamua kumkomoa mumeo au mkeo, unajiumiza mwenyewe bila kujua. Mimi naamini katika kanuni ya maumbile (Universal Law), ambapo najua ukitenda baya, hata gizani, litakurudia tu, tena kwa nguvu na maumivu makubwa zaidi.

     
  2. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 4, 2011
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    tumuombe Mungu atupunguzie kichaa tulicho nacho, maana kila mtu ni kichaa
     
  3. vukani

    vukani JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Hata sijui mie niteolewa na mume wa aina gani................!?
     
  4. Tegelezeni

    Tegelezeni JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Vichaa, vichaa, vichaa............. wapo kila mahali, mitaani, makazini na hata majumbani, ilimradi vurugu tupu............... kusema kweli kuna ndoa nyingi zina vichaa kama sio uwendawazimu. nakubaliana na wewe mkuu...............
     
  5. F

    Fideline Senior Member

    #5
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Kaka Mtambuzi ni kweli.Asante kwa somo hili nta print nimuoneshe kichaa mwenzangu!!
     
  6. Billie

    Billie JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Duu asante sana kwa mchanganuo mzuri ambao mi naweza kuuita "CONCEPTS OF VICHAA"mi mwenyewe nimo ila huwa najishtukia narudi kwenye mstari kwa vile kaka umeliona wazi I promise kuukimbia ukichaa wa aina yangu.Thanx lete zingne mada zenye akil kama hizi.
     
  7. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #7
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Nawe tafuta kichaa mwenzio.....................LOL
     
  8. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #8
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Mbona ziko nyingi tu..........vuta subira
     
  9. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Baba hata mie nitaolewa na kichaa?naomba mungu anipate mwenye kiwango kidogo cha ukichaa!asante kwa somo baba.
     
  10. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #10
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    Nitakupa mbinu mwanangu na ninaamini hutapata mwenye kichaa tena................LOL
     
  11. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    Ok! Nimekusoma mkubwa dats why! Ila huyu bosi wangu kichaa chake cha paka shume!!
     
  12. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    Asante baba!
     
  13. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #13
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    Kama na yeye yuko humu JF, ikitokea akakujua............huna kazi mwanangu..............LOL
     
  14. Thomas Odera

    Thomas Odera Verified User

    #14
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Ahsante mkuu kwa mada nzuri na yenye kuielimisha jamii na kujitambua kwa kila mwenye ndoa na anayetarajia kuoa au kuolewa
     
  15. M

    MyTz JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 4, 2011
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    in bold, mi nafit hapo unaniambiaje sasa???
     
  16. ENZO

    ENZO JF-Expert Member

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    Hata waliopigia kura CCM Igunga ni VICHAA.
     
  17. Kibirizi

    Kibirizi JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    Asante mkuu kwa mada nzuri, naona vichaa wengi wa JF wamefurahi sana, pengine hii inaweza kuwa ni mingoni mwa thread chache ambazo zinagusa sana.
     
  18. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Kweli wewe mtambuzi. Sio tu mume au mke hata marafiki vichaa pia tunao.
     
  19. Felixonfellix

    Felixonfellix JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 4, 2011
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    somo zuri
    huwa naamini kuwa kila binadamu ni kichaa
    isipokuwa tunatofautiana viwango tuuuuuuu
     
  20. Felixonfellix

    Felixonfellix JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 4, 2011
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    Maadamu nao ni binadamu
     
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