piper
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2012
- 3,253
- 612
ADVERTISEMENT FOR A WIFE !!!
FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are
high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy
a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of
my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the
injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to
harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share
our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social
responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society..... ......... ... (etc etc and never getting to the point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e.
Myself. Any objections would be overruled a! nd will not be
sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul.
And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.
SHAAYAR
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi
shooda ho jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka.......... ..... joh
kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ....... Kyoon key yaroo ub
khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures.
She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very
nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit
to her family.
SHARABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a
bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from x-
ud,erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be
homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if
you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are
high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy
a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of
my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the
injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to
harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share
our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social
responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society..... ......... ... (etc etc and never getting to the point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e.
Myself. Any objections would be overruled a! nd will not be
sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul.
And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.
SHAAYAR
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi
shooda ho jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka.......... ..... joh
kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ....... Kyoon key yaroo ub
khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures.
She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very
nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit
to her family.
SHARABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a
bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from x-
ud,erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be
homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if
you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
