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Fumanizi: Kwanini wanawake hupenda kuwalaumu wanawake wenzao?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 20, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Aug 20, 2012
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    [​IMG]
    Huwa inatokea sana pale mwanamke anamfumania mume au mpenzi wake, kitakachotokea kama si kumpiga mwanamke aliyemfumania na mumewe, basi atamporomoshea matusi au kumlaumu sana. Si hivyo tu, hata pale mwanamke anapopata fununu kwamba mume wake au mpenzi wake anatoka na mwanamke fulani, sio kwamba atamkabili mumewe au mpenzi wake kutaka kujua ukweli wa jambo hilo, bali atakachofanya ni kumkabili mwanamke huyo iwe ni moja kwa moja au kwa kutumia wanawake wenzie ili wamfikishie ujumbe huyo mwanamke anayemtuhumu.

    Je ni kwa nini hali hiyo hutokea……?

    Hapa chini nitajaribu kudadavua sababu kadhaa zinayowafanya wanawake kukimbilia kuwalaumu wanawake wenzao wanaowafumania na waume zao:
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    1. Kupinga kuhusu jambo hilo - Sababu kubwa inayowafanya wanawake kuwalaumu wanawake wenzao pale wanapowafumania na wenzi wao ni kwa kuwa ni rahisi zaidi kukabiliana na wanawake wenzao kuliko waume zao. Ingawa inawezekana mwanamke akawa anahisi kwamba mwenzi wake anatoka nje, lakini mara nyingi wanawake hupinga uwezekano wa jambo hilo kuwepo. Hiyo ni kwa sababu wakati mwingine mwanawake hutokea kumuamini mwenzi wake kupita kiasi, hivyo kutotaka kuruhusu mawazo ya aina hiyo yatawale kichwa chake. Hivyo basi kuwalaumu wanawake wenzao ni rahisi zaidi kuliko kujikagua na kuangalia kama mahusiano yake na mwenzi wake iwapo yana tatizo. Lakini kinyume chake huamini kwamba ni lazima mwanamke huyo ndiye aliyemshawishi mwenzi wake mpaka akakubali kutoka naye. Pia huamini kwamba kama mwanamke huyo asingejirahisisha kwa mwenzi wake, isingekuwa ni rahisi kwake kutongozwa na kukubali, ni lazima kulikuwa na aina ya kujirahisisha ili kumshawishi mwenzi wake atoke naye. Lakini pia wanawake wengi huchukulia kitendo cha mwenzi wake kutoka nje ni kama wamechokwa na sasa waume zao hawawataki. Hakuna mtu anayependa kuachwa, hivyo ni rahisi zaidi kuwakabili au kuwalaumu wanawake wenzao kuliko waume zao au hata kujilaumu kutokana na mahusiano mabovu na wenzi wao


    [​IMG]
    2. Kuhisi kusalitiwa kama mwanamke - Kwa kawaida wanaume wana tabia ya, "kila mtu na lwake," tofauti na wanawake, wao wana tabia ya ushirikiano na wanaamini kwamba madhila ya mwenzake ni ya kwake pia. Hivyo kitendo cha kugundua kwamba mwanamke mwenzake amemsaliti jambo hilo humuumiza sana. Ingawa wanawake wanajua wazi kwamba mwanaume kutoka nje ni jambo rahisi na linalowezekana sana kutokana na asili ya wanaume, lakini huamini kwamba wanawake ni wamoja na hawapaswi kusalitiana wao kwa wao.
    [​IMG]
    3. Kutafuta shabaha dhaifu – Baadhi ya wanawake huona ni rahisi zaidi kuwakabili wanawake wenzao kuliko waume zao. Hususan kama anamuogopa mumewe. Kama mwanaume ana historia ya unyanyasaji na upigaji wa wanawake halafu ikatokea mwanamke akagundua kwamba mwenzi wake huyo anatoka nje, kamwe haitatokea mwanamke huyo kumkabili mumewe. Kitakachotokea ni kwa mwanamke huyo kumkabili mwanamke mwenzie akiamini kwamba shari haitakuwa kubwa ukilinganisha na ya mumewe. Pia kuna baadhi ya wanaume wana tabia ya uzinzi na mkewe au mpenzi wake anajua kabisa kwamba ni vigumu kwake kubadilika. Hapa atakachofanya mwanamke huyo ni kukimbizana na wanawake wenzie anaowahisi kuwa wanatoka na mumewe au mpenzi wake huyo ili kuwapa ujumbe kwamba anawafahamu na anawafuatilia, akiamini kwamba watamwacha mumewe, hivyo haoni sababu ya kumkabili mpenzi wake.
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    4. Wanawake hawapendi kupoteza – Inapotokea mwanamke amegundua kwamba mpenzi wake anatoka nje, hujiwa na mawazo mengi sana, miongoni mwa mawazo hayo ni:((i). Je kuna jambo amemkosea huyo mwenzi wake mpaka kufikia kiasi cha kumsaliti? (ii). Je Mwanamke huyo aliyotoka na mwenzi wake ni mzuri kiasi gani, au amemzidi na kitu gani hasa? Kama ikitokea akimkabili mwenzi wake kutaka kujua ukweli kuhusu jambo hilo halafu huyo mpenzi wake akasema hampendi huyo mwanamke na wala hamtaki ila huyo mwanamke ndio anajipendekeza kwake, hapo itakuwa ni rahisi kwake kumkabili huyo mwanamke kidudu mtu, kwani mpaka hapo atakuwa amethibitisha kwamba yeye ni mshindi kwani mwenzi wake yuko upande wake na si wa hawara yake.
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    5. Amepanga kuishi na mwenzi wake mpaka kifo kiwatengenishe- Kuna wanawake ambao wamejitolea na kujiapiza mioyoni mwao kwamba wao na wenzi wao wataishi pamoja labda tu kifo ndio kitawatenganisha. Hata kama itatokea ajue dhahiri kwamba mwenzi wake anatoka nje na amejitahidi kulijadili jambo hilo na mwenzi wake lakini haoneshi dalili za kuacha mchezo wake huo, basi ni rahisi sana kwa mwanamke kuhamishia hasira zake kwa wanawake anaowahisi kuwa wanatoka na mwenzi wake. Ukweli ni kwamba hakuna mwanamke anayependa kufanywa mjinga katika uhusiano, hata kama kiukweli watu waliomzunguka humwona kuwa ni mjinga kutokana na vitendo anavyofanyiwa na mwenzi wake, lakini anashindwa kuchukua maamuzi magumu. Hivyo basi ili kuondoa hiyo dhana ya kuonekana mjinga hukimbilia kuwakabili wanawake wenzie anaohisi wanatoka na mwenzi wake.[​IMG]
    6. Anatoka na mwanamke anayemfahamu vizuri sana – Hii ni moja ya sababu nzuri inayoweza kutumiwa na mwanamke kuhalalisha kwamba ni kwa nini amkabili manamke mwenzie badala ya mwenzi wake. Kama inatokea mwanaume anatoka nje na rafiki wa karibu wa mkewe, mfanyakazi mwenzie au kibaya zaidi atoke na ndugu wa karibu, hapo ni dhahiri mwanamke anayo kila sababu ya kumlaumu mwanamke mwenzie. Na si hivyo tu kama inatokea anatoka na ndugu wa karibu labda tusema dada au mdogo wake wa kike, huwa inawaumiza sana wanawake na uwezekano wa ndugu kusambaratika ni mkubwa, kwani anashindwa kuamini kile kilichotokea. "Yaani hata ndugu yangu mwenyewe ananisaliti……" anaweza kujiuliza. Na kama ni shoga yake ndio kabisaa itamuuma zaidi. Ikumbukwe kwamba wanawake huwa wanashirikiana hisia. Kama inatokea anagundua kwamba yule rafiki aliyemuamini na ambaye anamshirikisha katika madhila yake kwa kumweleza matatizo yake na mwenzi wake, ndiye anayetoka na mpenzi wake, jambo hili huwaumiza sana wanawake kihisia

     
  2. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Ntakuja kusoma baadae natoka kidogo.

    Nadhani hiyo ni nature na hatuwezi kushindana na nature...SIsi wanawake ni protective hata kwa watoto wetu.

    Mimi mwenyewe siwezi kumkalia kimya mdada naejua anasarandia penzi langu. Ila tofauti yangu kidogo ni kuwa hata home lazima KINUKE.Lol. Nagombana na wote.

    Hata ukijaribu kunibadili au kutubadili vipi ni impossible..we are from where vile, Mars or Jupiter?
     
  3. Scofied

    Scofied JF-Expert Member

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    na mwanume akimfumania mke wake inakuwaje mkuu! Upande wa pili please mkuu Mtambuzi
     
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  4. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ha ha ha haaaaa, kumbe na wewe huwa unatafuta shabaha dhaifu eh.....!
    Hapo kwenye bold ni Venus na Mars...............................................................LOL
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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  6. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Well said Mtambuzi
    Hasa kwenye shabaha dhaifu naona wengi wanaangukia hapo!
    Nina case ya shemeji yangu mumewe ni mwalimu wa chuo..kuna siku alitinga class kwa mumewe kupiga biti vibinti vyote vinavyomsalandia mumewe..Nilivyomuuliza alisema..'siwezi kumzuia mumewangu kufanya so, nimeamua kudhibiti upande ninaouweza'
     
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  7. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    SnowBall ni kweli mkuu, lakini najua kuna wanawake watakuja hapa na kubisha wakidai kwamba wao ni ngangari na wakigundua kuwa waume zao wanatoka nje kinanuka kuanzia home mpaka mtaa wa pili............
    Kumbe hakuna lolote, wengi hukimbilia shabaha dhaifu..................................LOL
     
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  8. mdida

    mdida JF-Expert Member

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    haina haja kulaumu upande mmoja, ni kuangalia chanzo cha tatizo ni nn then unasolve. wanaume/wanawake haya ni matatizo yanayotukabili wote si kulaumu upande mmoja, wanaume wanakimbilia kujiosha kwa wake zao kuwa ni mwanamke ndie aliyemfuata na kumbe kila day alikuwa anafuata mwanamke.
     
  9. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    [​IMG]

    nyumba kubwa
    in action................................................LOL
     
  10. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    ngoja nikwambie kitu Mtambuzi siku zte wa mwenye busara ataharibu kote kote yaani kwa wandani na kwa wanje. vinginevyo anapiga kimya kimtindo.

    yaani huna haja ya kufa na mmoja mweleze huyo mwanamke ajue kama una ubavu na wajiua kwamba wewe si ngumi mkononi, kisha mkirud home kinuke kwa mzee. huwez kumwakia mr hadharani ila home sawa mbona lkn huyu mdada huna pa kumkuta zaid ya hapo na hapo ndipo unapomshusia timbwili.

    ONYO; mara nyingi sana hii si dawa hata siku moja dawa ni kumwambia mwenzi wako kisha aamue cha kufanya vinginevyo mfungie vioo tu yaani vaa sura ya kazi ile mbaya lazima atarudi tu. hakunaga dawa kama ya kumdharau mwanaume kwenye ufirauni wake kisha ukawa na 50 zako wallah lazima aje ajikombe tena. tena wakati wa 0 zako kama vipi na wewe wa kukuliwaza unamtafutia mitaa ya mbaliiiii basi presha hupati ila sasa yeye na jeuri yake ndo atakoma wivu atakulilia hadi kwenye gauni.
     
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  11. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Yup..Watabisha but ukweli ndio huo..
     
  12. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Hivi hii ya 'mwaga mboga nimwage ugali' inalipa eeh??
    Manake naona wanawake wengi wanashauriana sana kuhusu hii kitu..
     
  13. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa pana ukweli mchungu, acha nipite kimya kimya.....
     
  14. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    mbona sana tu. ngoja nikupe ushuhuda wa shoga yangu ambaye mumewe ni kigogo wa wizara fulan. huyu binti ni mzuri sana tu halafu mume ina mavumba ya kufa mtu ila mume hajatulia. mwanzoni nilikuwa namshauri dharau usimfwatilie lkn akashindwa kabisa manake binti yuko so loyal hivyo hakupenda kupata maradhi. kama kawaida ya akili zetu mdada akawa anapekua simu ya mumewe leo anakuta mr anaapointment na huyu mara mwingine anasifia mchezo mara mwingine ana demand mechi basi full michanganyo.

    nikmwambia binti utakufa presha usipokuwa makin manake utagombana na wanawake wenzio kwenye cm kisha mwanamke huyo anampigia sm mumeo na kukushtak bwana akirud kakuchunia mbaya zaid ukimtumia sms kimada kumtukana anaifarwad kwa mr na mr ndo anampa majibu amjibu nini mkewe, nikamwambia huu ni uduwanzi aache ufala.

    nilimwambia sijaona binti wa kichaga kapotea kiivyo kama vipi tafuta na wewe liscrepa lako tia kapuni kuonana kimachale na siyo sehem za kawaida. bahat sasa ikatokea kuna jamaa naye ndoani kapigika vile vile wakakutana basi wakaaminiana ktk kuliwazana baada ya kupima na kukutwa wako poa. binti akaanza kuwa bize na screpa lake sm ya hubby wake hashiki tena akirud saa nane usiku poa akirud asb poa ila binti anapo anapopatia liwazo. bwana huku na kule akahisi mkewe watu wanammega ila sasa hana ushahidi akaanza sasa kila siku lunch lazima amuite mkewe ili wakale wote jion wanarud wote kazini na asbh wanakwenda wote.

    huku na huku binti kwa liwazo la screpa naye akawa anapiga pamba za ukweli hela hamuombi jamaa mbona sasa hivi full nidham? yaani mke akitaka kutoka hata kuja kwangu lazima hubby wake amwambie twende nikupeleke kwa wivu ulivyomjia. it pays aisee. tena upate screpa lenye akili lol mbona anakoma mwenyewe
     
  15. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Siku hizi tumeshakuwa na akili, hatugombani wanawake. Ukishindwa kufuga mbwa/paka wako, akaenda kula jalala la jirani unaenda kumshukuru jirani kwa kukulishia. Unamuuliza akijaga huku anakula zaidi ukoko, ama ugali?

    M'dingi nakutakia sikukuu njema
     
  16. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Hili mi silipingi lina ukweli,japokua wa hovyo siku zote ni yule aliemfata mwenzake.Lakini mbona hata kwa wanaume nao ni hivyohivyo?Jamaa anamfumania mkewe,halafu anampa kipigo yule jamaa aliemfumania pengine huuwawa!Nadhani hii ni kwa wote!!
     
  17. Emma.

    Emma. JF-Expert Member

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    Unakuta mwenzake anajua siri zake zote akifumaniwa anajua yule ndo ameenda kusema.
     
  18. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Hizi ndoa hizi balaa tupu..
    Ndio maana MwanaFA alisema 'ukitaka wakwako pekee yako labda umuumbe mwenyewe'...lol!
    Umenifikirisha mbali aiseee..
    Ila kwa nini ulimshauri hivi gfsonwin ???
     
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  19. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    [​IMG]


    BADILI TABIA
    hivi hapa atapona mtu kweli hapa......................................................LOL
     
  20. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Ndo maana nakupendaga

     
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