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Excellent Again

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Watu waliokuwa kwenye msiba walimshangaa mama aliyefiwa na mmewe,wakamwuliza,mama mbona we humlilii mme wako,watu wanalia we macho makavu sana,mama akawajibu....nye acheni tu,nikiaanza kulia hapatakalika hapa,wakamwambia basi we lia kidogo kuonyesha unaombeleza.Mama akaanza kulia '''uwwwwiiiiiii mme wangu,umeniacha,nakumbuka jinsi ulivyokuwa unanifikisha tukiwa kwenye game,unanifanya kila style mpaka naridhika,hakuna mwanaume anayeweza kunitosheleza zaidi yako,....uwwiiiiiiii,jamaniiiii.sasa nani atanipa tena utamu,nani ataninyonya,uwwwiiiiii'''''watu wa kwenye msimba wakaanza kulalamika.........''ahaaaaa we mama mambo gani ya kutiana ny*ge kwenye msiba''!
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Mwanajeshi akiwa kwenye vita aliwateka adui zake watatu,wote walikuwa wanawake,wasichana wawili na mbibi,mwanajeshi akawaambia,sasa punishment yenu nafanya mapenzi na nye wote....wale wasichana wawili wakamwambia tunaomba basi usifanye na bibi yetu,bibi akadakia akisema...adhabu ni kwa wote adui ni adui hata awe bibi.
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Majambazi wenye silaha kali waliteka bus la abiria.Baada ya kupora mali kadhaa,waliwalazimisha watu waingiliane kinyume na maumbile.Abiria walianza kuwaomba majambazi wawasamehe kwa kusema"vijana wetu mali tumewaachia mchukue,basi nendeni,kitendo mnachotaka ni kibaya,kuna maradhi siku hizi,tusameheni vijana wetu."
    Ghafla abiria wawili walioukua siti za nyuma kabisa wakasema"adhabu hiyohiyo kaka jambazi"...mwingine akasisitizia"washasema washasema"
    Kumbe walikua ni mashoga...
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Dada alijitoa katika foleni ya Benk na kumfuata askari kumuuliza
    DADA:Samahani afande,unaweza kunisaidia kutoa kitu kwenye makalio yangu??kinanikera sana.
    Kwa haraka sana afande akajivuta chemba na kuweka bunduki chini,kisha akamwambia dada
    AFANDE:Njoo kwa huku.Kwani ni kitu gani hicho kinakukera?
    DADA:Ni hayo macho yako.Unanikosesha amani unavyonikodolea macho matakoni.
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 14, 2011
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    sauti ilisikika kichakan ikiomba msaada''nisaidien nakufaa''gafla lilitokea bonge ya baunsa kichakan huku likihema na boxa mkonon likasema''dah japo wamenigonga lakin kwa mbinde.
     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Baada ya kusababisha ajali mbaya iliyoua watu 19 waliokua wamesimama kituo cha daladala na kujeruhi kadhaa,Askari wa usalama rodini alimuuliza dereva.
    ASKARI:Unavutaga bangi?
    DEREVA:Toka jana sijavuta kabisa
    ASKARI:Kama breki zilifeli,kwa nini ulilenga kwenye watu wengi?upande wa pili kulikua na nini?
    DEREVA:Kulikua na mtu mmoja anataka kuvuka
    ASKARI:Kwa nini usingemgonga huyo mmoja?ukawagonga wengi?
    DEREVA:Kweli nilishaamua kumgonga huyo m1,lakini ghafla aliruka barabara na kujiunga na waliokua kituoni
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Mwanamke alinunua line mpya ya voda ili ampime mumewe.Wakiwa wameketi sebuleni,mwanamke alienda jikoni na kumpigia mumewe,huku amebadilisha sauti.Jamaa akapokea simu"Hallow"
    WIFE:Hallo darling wangu naona siku hizi umenisusa
    JAMAA:pliz,Kata nitakupigia
    Ghafla jamaa akatoka nje kibarazani,na kumpigia darling nae akapokea
    WIFE: Hey swity,mbona umeniambia nikate simu?uko wapi?
    JAMAA:Niko home.Lile ling'ombe lilikua jikoni, lingenikuta naongea na wewe ingekua noma.
     
  8. Erickb52

    Erickb52 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Duh kweli jina ulilojipa linastahili......
    Hapa nimekaa mahali nacheka hadharani mwenyewe
    big up
     
  9. Leonard Robert

    Leonard Robert JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Apr 22, 2011
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    utaniua kwa kicheko kaka ha ha ha ha nimecheka hadi mado zangu wanashangaa da! Sikuwez mkuu.
     
  10. mgodi

    mgodi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Mkuu taratibu na mbavu zetu.
     
  11. Bushbaby

    Bushbaby JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 14, 2011
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    I salute you Sir!! u have made ma day!!
     
  12. Mkale

    Mkale JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Umetisha bro, hasa iyo ya mjeshi ani.
     
  13. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 14, 2011
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    thanks mkuu,na bado
     
  14. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 14, 2011
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    thanks much
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 14, 2011
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    bibi noma mkuu
     
  16. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 14, 2011
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    mkuu nitakuja na mengine kwenye post lingine
     
  17. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 14, 2011
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    mkuu hii ndo cheka unenepe
     
  18. M

    Masuke JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Hiyo ya bibi ni balaa kweli adui ni adui.
     
  19. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 14, 2011
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    thank you for the smile...
     
  20. B

    Bayo Senior Member

    #20
    Oct 14, 2011
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    uko juu boss.. Nimecheka sn
     
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