Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Euro English - Breaking News!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Asprin, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: Mar 8, 2008
    Messages: 41,190
    Likes Received: 2,770
    Trophy Points: 280
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
    will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear konfusion,and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20percent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from Vords kontaining "ou".

    And after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no Mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.

    Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!

    Doesn't that sound a bit German anyway???