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Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Castle, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. Castle

    Castle Member

    #1
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Jul 25, 2008
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    Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
    Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
    First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
    Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
    What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
    What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
    To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
    It works like this:
    Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation.
    Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
    Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
    The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options
     
  2. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Completely true,long time ago a girlfriend left me for a guy who use to beat her regularly and would humiliate her in public.
     
  3. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 28, 2009
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    we girls enjoy some creativity and exitements sometimes, We do not play safe all the time, we can take risks
    Japo baadae unakuwa majuto, lakini ukikuta mwanadada ambaye hajapata kuwa handled properly (completely taken, and loose control, yani ujisikie unatakiwa, and the guy is happy having you by his actions), siku zote itakuwa kwenye ndoto zake, japo hawezi kuact upon it.
     
  4. KIFARU

    KIFARU Senior Member

    #4
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Apr 6, 2009
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    kaka siku moja niliisoma hii article mpaka nikaona mwandishi labda ananiandika mimi, unampenda mwanamke mpaka unataka uhusiano wenu utokee kinjozi,yaani ukimu-handle kama yai basi atukupenda na siku moja ukiaamka atakueleza anavyokupenda, kaka ukimpenda mtu unakua weak kama ute wa yai la kisasa,
     
  5. G

    Game Theory JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 28, 2009
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    most guys i know are simps anyway
     
  6. Penny

    Penny JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Asante kwa somo zuri, inabidi basi na sisi wanawake pia tuwe hivyo!
     
  7. Penny

    Penny JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 29, 2009
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    May it works to other women but no ME! sorry, i might have come from another planet from which such women came from...WHAT!
     
  8. Icadon

    Icadon JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 29, 2009
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    kwa nini nice guys finish last,
    -Needy
    -Devote muda wao wote kwa watu wengine mpaka wanajisahau
    -Hawajui kusema no most of the time
    -Unrealistic expectations
    etc etc
     
  9. Babylon

    Babylon JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Thank GOD Bongo tunatamaduni zetu za njia ya mkato hayo mashaka hatuhitaji hapa jiji .
    Bongo ni sherehe sherehe tu nyama choma na vinywaji kwa wingi unachomoka na mtu ,hapendwi mtu hapa ,au love story pochi na Good time kwa wale wenye kutamkiwa wanabakia kuwa wapenzi au kufika kuowana.
     
  10. Penny

    Penny JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Na ndo maana at the end yanawacost...haya endeleeeeniiiiii!
     
  11. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 30, 2009
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    She came back after a few months asking me to take her back and that she had never met a more caring and understanding guy and she cant live without me.I told her she had already lived without me for 6 months and she should be able to from now on,just then my new girlfriend(now wife) walked in and i introduced her to my ex, and my ex broke down in tears.
     
  12. Spear

    Spear JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 30, 2009
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    Ndio mana unakuta Bongo maswala ya kutongoza watu wengi hawayaelewe ni mialiko ya hapo kwa papo hakuna maneno matamu kutupiana,wanaingia moja kwa moja kwenye mada.
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 11, 2014
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    Nice guys ni relativeterm sana, wengine wanajidhania ni nice kumbe junky, na vice verse.
     
  14. daviey69

    daviey69 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 11, 2014
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    nice english....hata mimi naunga mkono kwenye post hii asilimia mia! na ukiona mwanamke amepozi for a nice guy just know alishang'atwa na nyoka kwahiyo akiona unyasi lazima aruke!
     
  15. badiebey

    badiebey JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 11, 2014
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    Hii mada -And vice versa IS TRUE
     
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