wana JF, What about African men???!! just thinking aloud........ 1. Fear of commitment "I had been dating Michelle for about four months when the invitation to her Dad's party arrived. I guess we were an item, but it was freaky becoming a 'plus one' overnight. Maybe that's why I hooked up with my buddy's cousin, I don't know. She was pretty, from out of town and understood this was a one-time thing ... I never did make it to that party." Victor, Scottsdale, Ariz. 2. For the thrill of it "Every year I'm responsible for an intern. Usually it is some clingy, overachieving geek, but this year I scored. A redheaded beauty, she knew she was the bee's knees and enjoyed watching me drool. It was risky and I didn't get much work done, but my girlfriend knows my work comes first." Roger, Atlanta, Ga. 3. He is not fulfilled "My ex, Brenda and I started out sharing late nights, long talks and make out sessions at the pub. It was beautiful, but it faded quickly. Now I'm lucky to get her off the couch. And physical intimacy? Well, forget about it. I think it was a return to those early days I was looking for that Saturday night I found myself at the pub by myself and on the prowl. I didn't leave alone, but I sure feel that way now." TJ, San Francisco, Calif. 4. Sabotage "Sandie and I always seemed mismatched, but between my waffling and her crying I could never quite end it with her. It got so bad that eventually I started to resent her. I had to do something. I know it wasn't right, but one night I hit on a friend of hers and well, something happened. It wasn't the best way to end a relationship but at least it's done." Drew, Dallas, Texas 5. Revenge "I love parties and I wasn't about to miss another just because my girlfriend doesn't so I went stag. Sure, there were some real hotties there and a little innocent flirting on my part, but that's all. But that wasn't good enough for Gina. She was sure I had cheated, and holds it over my head to this day. Well, let her think what she wants. She's got a past, too. There will be other parties and maybe next time I won't be so innocent." Alex, Buffalo, N.Y. 6. Because you let him "Yeah I admit it. I am a little bit of a dog when it comes to the ladies. Even though I consider Angela my girlfriend, there have been other women. I'm not saying that she thinks it was okay, but she did catch me once and after a little groveling and some flowers she took me right back. A man's got his needs. I think she knows that." Paul, Pasadena, Calif. 7. Emotional escape "The week before I left for my trip, Heather and I got into another doozy. I love her and all, but no matter what I say she always ends up nagging me. I'm just tired of it. I travel a lot and I've got way too much invested in the relationship to break it off, so I have just decided to mix business with pleasure. What she doesn't know won't hurt her and I really need a break now and then." Sean, Chicago, Ill.