Wife material a la president Khama Botswana President Ian Khama. Photo/FILE By JACKSON BIKOPosted Friday, December 17 2010 at 13:24 The President of Botswana cant get a wife. Ill say that again, the President of Botswana cant get a wife. There is something insincere about that statement, like it is an oxymoron. But the top man, Khama Ian Khama, has found it increasingly hard to find someone to marry, and if you are a Kenyan man, you can almost empathize with him. You would think it would be easy enough for him to get a wife given his stature. You would think he would have women lining up against a white wall, hoping to be picked by his Excellency. You would imagine that he gets women submissive and weak in the knees with his power, but no. Maybe hes cautious, after all across the border, in Zimbabwe, the inspiration he gets from the adulterous first lady, Grace Marufu, doesnt quite encourage him to walk some bird down to the altar. For a while now, his country has been engaging in loud murmurs over the marital status of their 57-year-old President who also happens to be a paramount chief of the largest ethnic group in Botswana. But President Khama doesnt ask for a lot. He doesnt ask for a long list. At a function a few weeks ago, he addressed the elephant in the room and asked for help. Since he is a busy man attending to more pressing stately matters than serenading a string of beauties in the hope of finding The One, he asked his countrymen (and woman) to help him find a suitable woman who he can finally marry. And his requirements were surprisingly quite basic; slim, tall and beautiful. He didnt mention complexion, or level of education or tribe or whether she shouldnt wear weaves or not partake of alcohol or someone who loves children, or pets or potted plants. He didnt seem to care if she can cook or be able to burp a baby or keep his home running. No, all Mr. President wants is a slim, tall and beautiful lady. And in a tactless and reckless move to make sure he wasnt misunderstood (and perhaps this is the reason why he hasnt been able to find a wife already) he allegedly turned to Bothogile Tshreletso, the local government assistant minister and said, I dont want one like this one. She may fail to pass through the door, breaking the furniture with her heavy weight and even breaking the vehicles shock absorbers. The audience (consisting largely of women) found that hilarious and cackled and clapped. I shudder to think the kind of storm that statement would have elicited if that was in Kenya. Oh the drama! But this woeful tale raises two interesting questions; one, what do men look for in a wife? And two, why is Bothogile Tshreletso taking so long to lace her presidents tea with rat poison? Its been almost three weeks for chrissake, the suspense is uncalled for! Call it what you may, but in a mans nomenclature of females there are three broad categories; the girlfriend material, the wife material and the blood relative. Every guy has a specification for the kind of wife he wants and those specifications arent cast in a template which all men subscribe to. There are women men date and then there are those men marry; only an absentminded man would confuse the two. But the biggest fallacy of modern dating is borne from the fact that women imagine that men subscribe to this template of a wife; should be able to cook, should be obedient, should be respectful, should be strong and focused, should have superior motherly skills and be a great home keeper. The problem with this template is that its hardly functional, at least not in its entirety. Not with the advancement of technology like microwave, washing machine and well, nannies. But what this template has then done is reconditioned women who are desperate to get a man. So at the dating stage, they will gallantly drop hints about their wifely skills. They will pander to this script not knowing that the insincerity of it is quite telling. You will know you arent your mans idea of a wife when he leaves you and marries someone else. But if you have to put up an act in order to sway his decision then you certainly are desperate and you will only play act for so long. The easiest way to get a man to walk you down the aisle is to be yourself, not the woman you want him to think you are. But somewhere in Botswana, the search is on. All the tall, slim and beautiful women are putting their best feet forward while the ones who may fail to pass through the door, are brooding with revenge which I suspect they will mete out in the next general elections because, after all, hell hath no fury like a woman called big.