One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving, when Bubba, a kid from around the neighborhood, comes in after having mowed the lawn for him, and proceeds to pee in the toilet. Well, Bubba was rather well endowed and curiosity got the best of the husband and he just had to look. Sure enough, Bubba had the largest penxxx he had ever seen!!! The man asked Bubba, 'I don't mean to be too personal, but how did your dick get that big? I couldn't help but notice...' Bubba laughed and said, 'Every night before bed, I bang it on the bedpost three times. Heck, it impresses the girls at school!' The husband was excited at the simplicity of this technique and could hardly wait to try it himself! Before he climbed into bed that night, he whipped it out and banged it on the bedpost three times. He was just climbing into bed with newfound confidence when the wife sits up, half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and says, 'Bubba, is that you?' xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her rear and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man hold his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penxxxx With a death grip in place she said, "You know, if you firmed this up we could get rid of your neighbour." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The wife found her husband sitting on the back porch crying. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Do you remember when we were dating and your father told me that if I didn't marry you, he would send me to prison for 20 years?" he said. "Yes" she responded, "so what?" "I would have gotten out of prison today!" he sobbed.