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What is wrong here

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by 4X4byfar, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 4, 2009
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    Za leo wapendwa,

    Jamani naombeni kuuliza, hivi ni kwa nini my hubby akienda kwenye vikao na wenzake ni mpaka nipige simu mara ishirini ndo unamuona anarudi home. Nisipofanya hivyo anaweza kuja saa nane au hata asubuhi. Nikimuuliza nini hasa ni tatizo, hana la kujibu zaidi ya kusema samahani. Then next time the same thing tena anarudia! Je hii nini naombeni munisaaidie maana nakereka sana na hii tabia yake. Nimeanza kupata na wasiwasi if our marriage will work out yani!
     
  2. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    your new year resolution:

    ...next time kabla hajatoka kwenda 'vikaoni', nawe jiandae, jipodoe na uvae kihasara hasara... akikuuliza unaenda wapi, mwambie "nipo tu!"

    ...huyo hata akitoka atajibanza mtaa wa pili kuchungulia, au huko aendako baada ya dakika tano atarudi kuchunga mzigo wake.
     
  3. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Kama ana tabia hii kila siku iendayo kwa mungu, basi inabidi mkae chini mzungumze na wewe umwambie tabia hii ya kutoka kila siku mpaka usiku wa manane huipendi na samahani zake inaelekea si za kweli maana anakuomba samahani halafu kesho yake anarudia jambo lile lile alilokuombea samahani jana. Vinginevyo nendeni wote huko kwenye vikao ili mkaburudike wote.
     
  4. P

    Pascal Mayalla JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 4, 2009
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    Pole sana Mama. Your Hubby takes your love for granted. Ni mtu asiyethamini thamani ya mapenzi na haswa pale anapotambua anapendwa yeye. Dawa ni kumweleza kwa kina jinsi usivyoipenda tabia hiyo na vitabia vingine vyake vidogo vidogo baada ya hapo akitoka usimpigie simu mpaka arudi mwenyewe bila simu. Mzee anakugeuza kengele, mpaka kengele ikilia ndio ajue muda wa kurudi nyumbani.
    Baadhi ya wanaume wakijua wanapendwa, basi ndio wanadeka. Next time atakuja fanya funny things na ataomba msamaha, na kwa vile unapenda, utasamehe na kwa vile he takes you for granted, atarudia tena. By the way, vile vikao vimepungua, ua sasa ndio vimehamia huko?.
     
  5. Nzokanhyilu

    Nzokanhyilu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 4, 2009
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    Probably anakatiza mitaa kuminimise all the nagging you drop on him the minute he walks in.
    Kwani we una matatizo gani mpaka aku-avoid? Unajua kupika au mambo ya housegirl? Una mambo ya muhimu kuongea nae au stori zako zipo zipo tu (nikimaanisha unachemsha ubongo wake positively au story zako za kiuswahili swahili tu)? Mlioana kwa mapenzi au basi tu? Uling'ang'aniza hiyo ndoa kwa kumtega? Mmeoana kwa muda gani?
    Sijaoa, ila kutokana na majibu utakayotoa twaweza kufikiria kama yeye (God forbid) as a man.
     
  6. Pundamilia07

    Pundamilia07 JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    It sounds like a mere joke lakini kabla hata hujachukua hatua za kumkalisha chini uongee nae, fanya hii uone ata-respond namna gani. Then utaangalia uendelee kuongea nae au uchukue plan B
     
  7. M

    Mfumwa JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Japo huu ushauri utakuumiza kwa muda fulani. Lakini kujua kama anakupenda na anafanya hayo kwa makusudi fanya haya, akitoka usilale mpaka arudi,vuta kiti kaa karibu na mlango, akigonga tuu fungua, na usizime taa, ili ajue hujalala. Lazima atakuuliza mbona hujalala mpaka muda huo, mwambie sijisikii kulala mwenyewe, naona raha tukiwa wote. Ukirudia hivyo kila wakati utamuona anawahi rudi. Kama bado anakupenda. Akishindwa acha hiyo tabia ya kuchelewa rudi baada ya hilo, omba wazee (wajomba, shangazi nk) wa upande wake waongee naye, wazee ni dawa.
     
  8. K

    Kipanga JF-Expert Member

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    ...I like this!!! Unajaribu sumu kwa kuonja kwa ulimi??? Mh!!! I doubt if it can work any way!
     
  9. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    Wanaume wengi hawajui kusema samahani! Kama una mwanaume anayeweza angalau kusema neno samahani elewa hiyo pekee ni bahati kubwa!Anaelekea kuwa ni mwanaume unayeweza kukaa na kuzungumza nae.

    Kuhusiana na hiyo tabia ya kuchelewa kurudi, je imeanza lini? Tangu mlipooana? Je unawafahamu hao marafiki anaokutana/kaa nao usiku?

    Naaamini suluhu bora zaidi itapatikana kwa mazungumzo (communication) kati yenu wawili. Unayo haki na wajibu wa kujua sehemu anapokuwa mumeo na watu anaokuwa nao katika hizo saa za usiku. Jaribu tena kutafakari maisha yenu na mwenendo wako pia (inawezekana wewe pia umebadilika ktk mambo fulani). Hii itakusaidia kujenga mategemeo (to build expectations) katika mazungumzo yenu.
     
  10. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

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    Nilijarubi hiyo style ila haikufanya kazi. Maana nilishawahi kumwambia kwamba naenda town kutembea so akimalizana na vikao vyake aniambie kwa kweli ndo ikawa nampa mda wa kukaa zaidi.
     
  11. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    Sio eti ni tabia ya kila siku, anafanya kazi pia. Ila most huwa during w/ends. Sipendi kumfatafata huko kwenye vikao maana naona kama namnyima uhuru wake.
     
  12. Kang

    Kang JF-Expert Member

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    Hiyo ndo starehe moja iliyopo Tanzania, kukaa nyumbani panachosha, mwachie apate space yake mara moja moja.
     
  13. Chibidu

    Chibidu JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Ndoa hazifanani dada yangu, kwahiyo acha ajaribu hiyo aliyopewa kwanza. Lakini inavyoonekana, ingawa hatujui ndoa yenu ina muda gani sasa, huyo bwana alianza kutingisha kuona kama imeisha. Wewe hukugundua kama anatingsha, ukakaa kimya mwisho akazoea sasa hatingishitena bali imekuwa starehe kwake. Kwa hiyo unachotakiwa ni kumwambia aache kutingisha, bado haijaisha. Nina maana unatakiwa kuwa serious na umuoneshe kuwa wewe bado unampenda na unathamini ndoa yenu, na kwamba kitendo anachokufanyia (kama wewe huna tatizo) kinahatarisha ndoa yenu. Na Kwa jinsi nionavyo mimi huyo bwana hana tatizo kubwa, kinachomsumbua ama ni ulevi tu au kuna kitu anakikimbia hapo nyumbani. Hivyo ukishindwa plan A hapo juu tafuta siku moja muombe mwende wote huko anakoenda. Kwasababu inaonekana bado anakuheshimu lazima atakubali, huko utajua ni kwanini anachelewa kurudi.Kuanzia hapo unaweza kutafuta nini cha kufanya. Jaribu kujenga tabia ya kumwomba utoke naye mara kwa mara, ni haki yako. Na wewe mwenyewe jaribu kuboresha life style yako, inawezekana kuna kitu kina "m-boa" anashindwa kukwambia tu ila anakupenda bado.
     
  14. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home.

    The best thing to do when he returns home is for you to prepare hot water for him to take shower and then cook him a nice meal.
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Mmmh...Kibs...ni wewe kweli huyu au kuna mtu kakuandikia?
     
  16. Pundamilia07

    Pundamilia07 JF-Expert Member

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    It seems you don't have plan 'B' what I could advise you nenda kapime afya yako baada ya hapo uangalie kama bado unataka kuendelea kufurahia maisha yako hapo au 'raha ujipe mwenyewe'. Maisha ni matamu lakini ni mafupi sana, endapo tayari una mtoto/watoto basi ujue enzi za kubembeleza mapenzi kwa mume/mke zimekwisha, pigania kulea watoto kwani hiyo ndiyo kazi kubwa kuliko kazi zote.
     
  17. BrownEye

    BrownEye Member

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    It has been tested and worked out for several people, Lakini mwanamke inabidi uwe mjanja sana maana vinginevyo mzee anaweza akakugeuzia kibao ukaonekana unabanjua pembeni pia.
     
  18. BrownEye

    BrownEye Member

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    Ukiona mume wako hana chembe ya kajiwiivu na wewe (ujue kuna mahari kashapata anapumzika huko) na hivyo hata ukimuaga unaondoka nyumbani hatakuuliza muda unaorudi wala unakokwenda. pia ukichelewa kurudi atakuwa kimya. Akifanya hivyo kwa zaidi ya mara mbili ujue hana shida sana na wewe, na wala si kwamba eti anakuamini sana. Anataka na wewe usimfuatilie nyendo zake full stop.
     
  19. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 6, 2009
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    hii ni balaa kabisa hata kamba haifai pole dada
     
  20. Indume Yene

    Indume Yene JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 7, 2009
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    Mbona jibu jepesi tu, akirudi saa nane wee unarudi saa tisa. Akilala huko siku moja wee unarudi baada ya siku 2. Nina hakika atakuuliza mwenzangu kulikoni, mwambie ulikuwa na vikao na wenzako. Siamini kama mkuki kwa nguruwe ni mtamu kwa binadamu. Atashika adabu yake kama anakupenda.
     
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