Arushaone
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 31, 2012
- 15,135
- 13,254
.... It was about 12.00 noon, which is supposed to be lunch hour, when about five, charming armed robbers, visited one of the banks in Arusha town. The smiling thugs greeted every customer with warm handshakes, before begging everybody to lie down on the floor.' "How on earth do you expect us to lie on this dirty floor with our best attires?" Asked one of the lady customers angrily.
"Oh sorry," begged one of the robbers. He then rushed out, only to return a few minutes later laden with about ten new mattresses and several bed sheets. "I had to shoot the store owner next door, in order to get these!" He said cheerfully. All the five robbers then worked to spread the bedding neatly on the floor, before politely requesting the bank customers to lie down on them, which they did. Then one of the thugs confronted a female cashier at the counter and requested her to hand him keys to the bank vaults.
"I am afraid that is not possible, the keys are with the manager." The cashier replied, as she applied another coat of lipstick onto her mouth. "Very beautiful!" The thug commented to the bank cashier as he handed the lady a mirror. The robber however suggested to her that, a lighter shade would have been even better. "Anyway," he added suddenly; "Oh! Where is the bank manager then?"
"I am not supposed to tell you that," she replied, "because it is against our regulations." At that moment the cashier exclaimed; "Oh! My God. I forgot! You see, now that you are here, I am supposed to call the police." The robbers then looked at each other, one of them rushed to close the bank doors, signaling to the customers who were lying on the floor to keep quiet. Most of them were however deep asleep already.
"Go ahead, call the police," said the robbers. "We have already secured the doors!" The lady cashier then picked up the phone and hastily started to dial. However, suddenly stopped, dropped the receiver and exclaimed; "Oh dear! I don't even know the number." She then looked up to the robbers and asked; "Does any of you happen to have the local Police's telephone number?"
"Here let me help you," said yet another robber, taking the phone away from the cashier. He dialed a number. "Hello? Is that the police?" A voice on the other end replied "Yes, can we help you?" The robber then answered; "Well, I am calling from this silly bank here and it is being robbed. Please hurry up!" But the voice on the other end continued to probe. "So who is that calling?" It asked. The thug was now getting impatient. "The robbers of course, stupid!" He shouted and banged the receiver down.
"The police local force needs to be overhauled!" He muttered. His mates had meanwhile found their way to the inner offices. One of them shouted through the door. "Master! have already found the bank manager, he is refusing to give us the keys. He says he is very busy at the moment. Maybe we should leave and come back tomorrow!" The thug suggested. But their 'Master' was having none of it.
"Tomorrow is my daughter's Birthday you fools!" He shouted. " ... And my wife wants me to be around when the girl cuts the cake." He Paused. "Good gracious! I forgot to buy her a Birthday card." He fumbled in his pockets. " Hey! Wait, I will be right back in a moment." He then rushed out. The lady cashier followed him. "I am also rushing to the hair salon before it closes!" She said.
The bank manager finally finished whatever he was doing and gave the robbers keys to the vaults. "Make sure you don't take all the money, because other robbers may also want to come and steal from this bank." He warned. As the robbers headed for the loot, the bank manager rose and went out for lunch. Outside he was almost knocked down by a speeding police vehicle, full of sirens. "Stupid cops!" cursed the bank manager under his breath.
"Hey wake up everybody, this is not a hotel, it is a bank and at the moment, the bank is being robbed!" Shouted one of the police officers to the bank customers who were still relaxing on the floor. "Where are the robbers?" He asked. The customers were now beginning to wake up from their deep slumber. They stared at the cops and asked furiously; "What made you take so long to come? Some of us had even started to dream!"
The robbers were then coming out with their money loots. "You are all under arrest!" Said the police. "Are we?" Wondered the robbers. "How comes? I mean, we haven't killed anybody ... at least not yet!" The cops then turned to the customers and asked. "Is it true that these thugs haven't killed anyone of you here?" The bank customers stared at each other, then looked back to the cops and replied in unison. "Why don't you search us?"
... It is our sincere hope, therefore that both the tourists and investors, fell in love with this 'safe' story about those armed robbers, who were full of insane grins, smiles, kisses and chocolates. and how they .... well, entered and robbed the local bank!
