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Wapinzani chini ya Paa Moja : Competitors under one roof

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Shadow, May 3, 2010.

  1. Shadow

    Shadow JF-Expert Member

    May 3, 2010
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    By Vitalis Kimutai
    An increasing number of older women are seeking higher education, but it comes with a price: Their maids are taking over their homes and their husbands.
    The number of married female students in regular and parallel degree programmes or attending evening and weekend classes in colleges across the country has sharply risen in the recent past.
    As a result, they are delegating many of the domestic chores to their housemaids.
    Tasks like cooking, washing, ironing clothes, changing bed sheets, taking children to school and for medical attention are left to maids.
    And in their quest for knowledge and certificates, diplomas or degrees, many women have little time for their spouses. [​IMG]
    And as a result, their house-girls are elbowing their way into their bedrooms to satisfy the sexual and emotional needs of their husbands.
    Many marriages have broken up as a result of men sleeping with their maids on the side — during the day, in the evening or when on leave.
    Some men have gone to the extent of taking the maids as second wives after breaking up with their wives.
    At our favourite club in Eldoret last weekend, we saw an acquaintance of ours at the parking lot loading utilities into the car boot in the company of a tall slim girl with a chocolate complexion.
    Private university
    Someone informed us that the girl was Douglas’ former maid turned wife.
    "His first wife left him when she learnt that he was having a steamy affair with their maid," our friend said. "She was so disgusted that she went into a depression and had to undergo counselling."
    It reminded me of the case of a senior lecturer at a local public university who took his maid as a wife shortly after his wife died in a road accident three years ago.
    He later told friends that though he was still grieving, he did not want a vacuum in the family and did not have to go out dating women when there was one already in the house.
    "She was used to my children and knew the family set up pretty well. As such I did not need to look further for a candidate for a wife," he said.
    At the time she died, the wife was pursuing a doctorate degree at a private university in Nairobi and had been spending little time with the family.
    Sam, a retired Army brigadier, married his house-help when he disagreed with his wife.
    The woman got wind of an affair between her husband and the house-help while the man accused her of sleeping with her college mates.
    Two of Sam’s daughters and a son who are in high school chose to remain with him while their eldest daughter left with the mother.
    Business engagements
    In Kericho, a secondary school teacher was caught red-handed by his wife, a primary school teacher in bed with their house-help when she returned from a local university where she was pursuing an undergraduate course.
    A trend is emerging of middle class men having more than a servant/master relationship with their maids.
    A major reason is old-fashioned lust. "You have to understand that the average maid is now well educated unlike before when house-helps were school failures with some not even having gone beyond primary school level," says Charles Mwai, a salesman in Nakuru.
    Provocative dressing by maids also causes some lustful men to salivate in the absence of their wives.
    But some women have also been accused of immersing themselves so much in office work, educational pursuits or business engagements it makes it easy for their maids to pull the rag from under their feet.
    "I drop the children at school in the morning and return to pick up my wife and take her to her workplace. At lunchtime I pick up the kids from school and take them home where we spent the whole day with the maid before I return to pick up madam from her workplace," says Edwin, a Narok farmer.
    Laid back
    He adds, "When my wife is away, it is the maid who cooks, cleans the house, washes and irons the clothes. When not at the farm, I while away the time with her watching TV as there is nothing else to do around the house."
    Peter reveals that his house-girl usually wakes him up in the bedroom to have lunch or tea and that more than once, he has been tempted to make a pass at her.
    "My wife brings loads of office stuff to the house to finish off and has little time for me and the children except during weekends when we go out. I cannot avoid being attracted to the maid," he says.
    Alpine, a friend of mine, says men who sleep with their maids are the laid back and insecure lot who given a chance, would bar their women from seeking higher education.
    Rose Mwendwa, a married student, says she would not employ a beautiful and intelligent house-girl.
    "It beats me why women employ maids who give them competition in the looks department. They will definitely edge you out of your matrimonial bed. Men are weak animals and they can yield to temptation from a beautiful woman," Mwendwa says.
    Little time
    The story is told of a pastor who had unending quarrels with his eldest son over a maid with the father accusing the son of having a sexual relationship with the girl.
    "The house girl fell sick and was diagnosed with HIV/Aids. The pastor fell sick later and he and his son were found to have contracted the virus," says a fellow preacher.
    After undergoing counselling, the disgraced pastor confessed to his fellow clergymen that he had shared the girl with his son. The pastor’s wife repeatedly tested negative.
    But the question that arises whenever such a sensitive matter crops up in a family is, who should be the first to go? Who should cede ground for the other: The maid, the wife or the husband?
    "God forbid, but if I am faced with such a catch-22 situation, the maid will have to go first, there is no debate about it. Then I will deal with my man," Christine Loiyolmoi, an architect, says.
    But Mrs Betty Rop, a banker differs: "I would rather cede space for the two if I gather enough evidence that they have been defiling our matrimonial bed."
    She adds, "I would move out with the children and explain the situation to them if they are old enough."
    Lost love
    Irene Karanja, a trader in Naivasha, says if a man sleeps with the house-help, it means he has lost respect for his wife and children and there is no need to continue living with him. It is best to leave him to start a family with the maid if he so wishes.
    Most women interviewed however said the best way to go about it is to talk it out and embrace reconciliation where possible.
    "It does not mean that some of the guys who sleep with their maids have lost love for their wives. To them it is like having sex with a commercial sex worker, only that with the girl in the house it is bound to be repeated," says Alice Kirui, a church worker in Bomet.
    Ann Njogu, a marketer says if a man and woman are left together for long they are likely to develop a liking for each other, despite belonging to different social classes.
    "You have to understand that human beings have feelings irrespective of their standing in society and the opposite sex attracts despite glaring differences. It is debatable though if such people are out to have sex or make love," Njogi says.
    More often than not, the issue of class and decency are pushed to the back burner when lust strikes.
    Some maids agree to go to bed with their bosses in the belief that it is a sure way to retain their jobs.

  2. Mess

    Mess JF-Expert Member

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    Kaka asante hii ndefu kweli kweli inataka muda mrefu kusoma
  3. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    May 3, 2010
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    ngoja niprint nikamsomee na muzee !!ndefu hii
  4. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    May 3, 2010
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    ukimaliza unipostie adresi si unayo?
  5. m

    mwalimally Member

    May 3, 2010
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    It does make sense
  6. Shadow

    Shadow JF-Expert Member

    May 4, 2010
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    FL, Jitahidi umsomee kama 'bedtime' story!!
  7. M

    Mchili JF-Expert Member

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    Angalia usijekuwa anamwamsha aliyelala.