Utampataje Demu? Dating Tips

Mtoto wa Mkulima

JF-Expert Member
Apr 12, 2007
Wakubwa sasa kazi kwenu hapo kama mnaogopa mademu ushauri wa bure huu hapa.
Partnership advice#1

Smile. Women are smile-addicts. A few well-placed smiles, a happy attitude, some (non-erotic!) jokes here and there and you can win a woman's heart faster than a handsome tall guy, who is grumpy.
One reason why women react so positively to smiling and humor is probably that it shows that the man is not dangerous. It could very well be that many women want strong men, but, at the same time, are afraid of them. Smiling and being friendly compensates this fear.

Another reason could be that smiling shows you are healthy. OK, this is not 100% true, but usually ill persons don't smile, do they?

In this sense: Look like enjoying yourself whatever you do!

Relationship recommendation#2

No hunchback

Stand straight and sit up. It shows that you are strong, well trained and not ill. And it will make you taller.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Love advice#3

Shaved Face

Many women love shaved faces. I wouldn't say that ALL women love shaved men (especially if you live in a country where a beard/moustache is common) but it's safer to be shaved than unshaved.
Moreover many women have bisexual tendencies (or at least consider other female faces as beautiful), thus a soft face may be considered as "pretty".

Dating recommendation#4

Deep Voice

Use a deep voice. If your voice cracks sometimes (= uses high tones) then you need to train to keep it low. A high tone or cracking voice sounds immature and adolescent.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Dating recommendation#5

Don't sweat, don't smell

Use deodorants. Under normal circumstances most women hate sweat odor. Hate it.

I am not even talking about using perfumes. Perfumes can be used ADDITIONALLY. I am talking about non-smelling, which is more important than good-smelling.
And *cough* pick-up lines as "I am stinking. Please wash me!" are wrong.

Marginal note: You cannot worsen things by non-smelling, you can however worsen things by perfumes (if you use the same/similar perfume her former boy-friend used). Please also read Different aftershaves.

Relationship advice#6

Taboo subjects

The reason of talking to a girl is to establish a relaxed atmosphere and to be friendly. Thus don't get involved into highly arguable subjects such as "Why death penalties for minors should be allowed" or "Why Greenpeace is doing more harm than good" or "Christmas has been invented by Satan, the Lord of hells" or something of that sort. Keep the affinity high and avoid "field mines".

Moreover the No Sex Talks rule applies and that's why you shouldn't even mention words like "feminism" or "herpes" or "Islam" or "hemorrhoids". Talking about "Why feminism is causing cellulite" OR "It's a pity that there is no cure against hemorrhoids" OR the pick up line "Want some free breast cancer inspection?" is plain WRONG.

Dating advice#7

Show tolerance, be easy

You should show a tolerant and open-minded attitude towards many subjects. Imagine the following sentences:
A: "All bugga-huggawoks always make trouble. I hate them"
B: "Bugga-huggawoks are often difficult. Some of them are OK though".

Now, whatever bugga-huggawoks are, sentence B seems to be more reasonable. If you start sentences like A and insist that there are no exceptions and get angry then

you involve yourself in an uneasy talk
you show intolerant temper
you show extreme attitudes ("all", "always","hate")
you show that you have less knowledge than someone who says sentence B (because he knows good bugga-huggawoks and you don't)
you show that you have little experience, since there are always exceptions, but you never encountered them
since you have little experience you are a prejudiced hater ("I hate them")
you don't admit that you are wrong most probably
you show sarcasm and negativity and that tells that you are probably on the losing side of life (see Don't symbolize a loser)
ANYTHING that can cause YOU a bad mood or HER a bad mood should be avoided (unless you are self-confident enough to make her smile again). Please also read Smile and Don't be a Crybaby.

Maybe the only exception (where you actually CAN say that you hate something) are "spiders". Women usually hate spiders/bugs/midges/... too. But don't forget to add "I usually kill them whenever I see them" to become her hero

Moreover, don't start fights. Fights are something you do not want to have in a human-human relationship. Fights have winners and losers. But you shouldn't want to make your partner lose. Nor your partner you. Do some "peaceful negotiating" where everybody wins instead.

Partnership advice#8

Say her Name

Get her first name. Say: "Hello, I am John" and then she will most probably tell you her name out of politeness. Use her name thruout the talks with her. This alone creates a more intimate atmosphere.

Partnership tip#9

Wear a fluffy pullover

If it's cold outside then wear the most fluffy pullover you can find. Many women will get the desire to hug and snuggle this pullover. It will create a friendly hug-atmosphere.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Love advice#10

Different Aftershaves
If you are dating a woman on several days then use a different aftershave/perfume each time. Ask her how she likes it and then use the one she gave the most positive response to.
You may also use more expensive perfumes to not smell like anybody else. If a woman knows a little bit about how other men smell she will notice the difference.

Partnership rule#11

Don't be drunk

For women who want to make the first step and are incredibly shy a drunk man may be welcome. But for most women a drunk man is a no-go. The alcohol stench and the slavering is usually UNWANTED. Moreover you may also get a bad fame.

Partnership recommendation#12

Dress nicely

Wear good clothes, e.g. a good shirt and a tie. Probably you should ask some girls what clothes they like a man to wear or you should go clothes-shopping with a female relative or a female co-worker.

Important note: A lot of women pay a lot attention to SHOES.
Don't wear those clothes at all costs even when they are inappropriate or don't suit you. Example: Don't wear a tie and your new shoes while swimming. OK, this is an exaggeration, but imagine yourself going bowling and you wear beautiful but uncomfortable clothes that make you sweat? Or going to the movies with a Hawaiian T-shirt.

On the other hand (since you are looking for a girl-friend anywhere) dress well whenever and wherever you go. You go shopping? Shave and dress well! You go to an exhibition? Shave and dress well. You go to a football match? Shave and dress well!

Another important thought: Woman are usually very "clothes-aware". In fact they communicate thru clothes and thru make-up (they wear shorter skirts and redder lipstick to show they are datable). Thus by wearing good clothes YOU establish immediately a communication line, too.

Partnership recommendation#13

Stay fit

Be fit. Do some sport.
If you are fit it will make you look better
If you are fit it will increase your self-esteem
If you are fit it will help you in the bedroom department
Now what can happen if you are not looking fit and healthy? Two major things:

Others may think you are ill and this will cause a repulsive reaction
You yourself may think you are ill and thus you may walk around with the "hidden wish" that "others should stay away"
In this sense: Do some walks, take some vitamins and lose some pounds.

Love advice#14

Future Father

The difference in thinking of a man and a woman can produce great misunderstandings but can help you to date more women.
Imagine the following situation: You sit alone at the bar. A woman comes along and wants to stand you a beer and go home with her. You would go most probably. Most men would.

Now consider the opposite: You are a man and you go around and ask other women directly to stand them a beer and come home with you. Most probably they won't go with you! The reason is a difference in thinking. For you as a man an offer must make "logical sense" or "sexual sense". For a woman it must make "emotional sense" and "friendship sense".

That means every approach to a woman should have the ingredient of "Look, lady, I could be the father of your children. I am well-dressed, discreet, humorous and understanding".

Would you (as a man) ever refuse a sex offer from a woman just because a) she is not well-dressed b) she is not humorous c) she often talks about sex d) she is not understanding? Most probably you wouldn't. You see? A total differing perception system "Woman vs. Man".

Even if she wants a one-night-stand only you should approach her as the "future father of her children". I am not talking about cheesy pick up lines as "Wanna be pregnant by Christmas?". I am talking about the "approaching attitude".

Love rule#15

Serious Boy-friend

Another theme related to the Future father is that of the Serious boy-friend. Although a woman wants probably merely a short affair it doesn't mean that you should not take her seriously. I don't mean to pounce on her with statements like "We will stay together forever". I am talking about a "serious attitude". I am talking about "not treating her as a day fly". Treat her politely, don't take her for granted. Treat her as a potential partner for a longer lasting relationship.

You can corroborate your serious intentions by mentioning future plans: Plan to go out next Friday to X, and next week to Y and next month to Z.

This also applies to the time AFTER you have established a relationship (or after sex). Reassure her, that you still like her. If you go, then tell her where to and when you will meet again. Make her breakfast and read Little Things for big Love.

Partnership tip#16

Don't be a shock for parents
The Future Father rule also explains why you have to dress nicely: The girl has to be sure that she can introduce you to her parents (or to close friends) without making a fool out of herself. OK, this is not a strict motif but why shouldn't you dress well anyway?
Please also read: Be presentable.

Relationship advice#17

Don't shout, don't interrupt

If you watch TV talks closely you will notice that women are nearly always interrupted by men but not vice versa. Try to be different in that regard. Do not shout, do not interrupt a woman.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Partnership rule#18

Don't be a Crybaby

If you give vent to your feelings this can tell the woman that you are weak and she needs to be your talk friend. But to date her you need to show the direct opposite: That YOU are HER strong shoulder; that you are self-confident; that you know what to do; and that SHE can rely on YOUR emotional strength to be a help for HER.
Thus starting to talk about "your past mistakes", about "your problems", about "why girls have left you" is the wrong thing to do.

Dating tip#19

Let women talk and help

Women love to talk (just think of how long they talk on the telephone). Women like to help (just think of a typical "female" job: nurse, kindergarten teacher, geriatric nurse...). Combine those attributes and you got a talk up and running by asking the woman: "Could I ask you for help? Could you tell me why/what/how/...". Ask her any question you like as long as the question is non-answerable by a simple "Yes" or "No".

Believe it or not, but maybe you have failed in your last dating attempt because you maneuvered yourself into dead-end answers. If you ask a girl "Have you been long here?" then practically anything she can answer is a dead end. She could answer "No, not long" or "A couple of minutes" but both answers do not lead into a nice conversational flow.

Many men (since men are practical-minded) want a "clear and simple" answer. For dating purposes that kind of "questioning strategy" is absolutely wrong.
Train by simply re-phrasing some of your question. Wrong: "Do you like this place?", right: "What do you think about this place?". You get the idea. In other words: Let her TALK. (This is just a simple example and I am not telling you to ask women that question).
Or ask her something like: "What do you think is the most common flaw men have?" or "I am writing for dating-forum.com. Could you help me by telling me what feature your ideal man should have?". Let her talk for hours.

Typical "open questions" start with

You get the idea.

Relationship advice#20

Be a Friend

There is an important side note to Let women talk and help: Women need good friends. Start to be her understanding friend and she will be grateful and rewarding. She may even introduce you to her other girl-friends. This Be a friend rule is also a side rule of Future father and Serious boyfriend.

Partnership tip#21

Trust barrier

Women have the fear to "open up" too much. To "invest too much emotions". To be "hurt too easily". That is a barrier you must overcome by making her TRUST you.
Imagine a world where women had more muscles than men and were taller and were known to be more aggressive. Now additionally add the need to have a real friend and the urge to share emotions. I bet in such a world men would build these "trust barriers", too.

Partnership tip#22

Don't touch a Woman

Don't touch. Being touched without having agreed to be touched IS a real turn-off for women. You can spoil everything.

However you can touch her by accident after a certain relaxed atmosphere has been established: While reaching to something, while sitting down...
Moreover you can use "excuses" to touch her, e.g. when slow dancing. Read also Learn how to palm read.

Touching shows her that you are a man. A possible boy-friend. And not one of those too-friendly-nice-guys. Moreover a touch cuts directly thru her social barriers (= bypasses her defense system) and thus is a form of heavy non-verbal communication.

Partnership recommendation#23

Touch softly

If you touch her, then very softly. Hug, snuggle, cuddle. Women love soft touches. So once you managed to be more intimate with her (dancing, holding hands) don't spoil that by being "too blatantly sexual".
You can hold her hands and let her feel that she is admired.

Relationship rule#24

Magnetic Mystery Man

Many women don't simply date YOU. They date a mysterious man who actually happens to walk by with your body. Thus clouding yourself in a mystery can help. If you walk in and the girl thinks "Wait a minute, who is this man??" then you have already hit the first target. "Aroused by curiosity" so to speak.
You could tell things from your life, but without giving the full background just to "mysteriousify" yourself . You could say, "I saved many lives of stray cats... these poor little creatures." (only if it's true, of course) but not telling WHY. She wouldn't know whether you are a veterinarian or a fireman or whatever. Woman LIKE to be in a wonderworld with their fantasies going (= too much information spoils fantasies).

Partnership rule#25

Fascinating non-answers

As a continuation of the Magnetic Mystery Man rule you can fascinate a girl by making incomplete sentences: "Hey, you know whom you remind me of? By the way I am John. Do you like this place here?"

Relationship rule#26

Learn how to palm read

This is a highly interesting technique because is combines several tips on this site: Learn how to read the future from her palm:
You can hold her hand while reading.
Reading palms is always good for fun, smiles and a relaxed atmosphere. Women love that.
You can get sexual without actually being sexual ("You will have three children and many love affairs"). You just tell the "facts" as an "independent" third party. It will put her in a sexual mood anyway.
You get her fantasies going
You make her interested (everybody wants to know the future)
You make her feel interesting (since you even want to "read her life's destiny")
You do her a favor (since palm reading usually costs something)
You show that you are something special (not many people can read palms)
You show her that you are empathic and spiritual and non-materialistic (not many boys are esoteric-minded)
You learn a lot of things about her (since she will be telling you "Yes, this is true" or "No, I don't think so")
You show her that she can be your friend (since she already tells you her secrets)
You are surrounded by a mystery ("Hey, does this boy really know everything about me? Who is he anyway?")
Nearly automatically she will propose (after you have finished to read her palm) to read the palms of her girl-friends.
It takes only a palm reader book and a one or two days of reading.

One of the best methods ever.

Dating advice#27

Have that something special
Would you (as a man) EVER wear those fancy fashion clothes women wear? Would you ever color your eyelids green? Would you ever walk around in tight high heels?
You see, this is another example of different thinking between a woman and a man: Women love that "special something". Woman love to look attractive.
This gives you advantages if you
wear a hat, neckerchief, necklace....
wear new designer clothes. Even if a women is not a style-addict your new clothes will make an impression
wear a, say, teddy bear with you. As stupid as it may sound, but you will get attention and women will probably ask you questions. You can start a talk by saying that you repair the teddy bear, or what the bear's name is etc
Having something "quirky" shows that you are self-confident. Self-confidence is another thing women love. Please read Be successful and self-confident.

In fact some women are so fixated to wear something special themselves that they begin to HATE the other girl on a formal party who by accident wears the same dress.

Relationship rule#28

What your Outfit symbolizes to a Woman

Combine Shaved face + Dress nicely + No hunchback and the woman sees in you
a man who is self-confident
a man who takes care of himself
a man who looks good (shaved, clean, non-smelling)
These are features women LOVE to see in a man. Even if they themselves run around shabby you WILL make an impression.

In other words: These are things you could apply immediately (today!) without much hassle or money.

Love rule#29

Don't be too polite

Times changed. Opening every door for a woman is inappropriate. It can make them think that you treat them as helpless little girls.
Moreover be careful: If you meet a woman who expects you to behave with these outdated "good manners" she can be fond of exploitation: You do everything for her, you pay everything for her and everything she does for you is soooo valuable.

Relationship recommendation#30

Know who you are

If a woman asks questions who you are and what you do and what you want to achieve in life, then you should know what to answer. If you begin to stutter, flush red and say "Well, I have no clue, I am too helpless for this world" then this is NOT what they want to hear.
By mentioning your hobbies, your job, sport interests you describe yourself as someone with a stable background whom she can classify and trust. And trust is important to give you her telephone number.

Please also read Use Business Cards.

Dating recommendation#31

Use Business cards

You should have business cards with your contact information. Try fancy cards or simple cards, but at least you can give her something to remember you. Maybe you can use a business card with your face on it.

Dating recommendation#32

Little Things for big Love

After you established a relationship and after you decided to continue it show the woman that you love and appreciate her. You can do this by little things as buying flowers from time to time.

Love tip#33

Don't stare, don't stalk

If you see a woman you want to make the first contact with then don't stare and don't follow her around corners. Eye contact is very good and important as long as you don't behave as a pervert staring at her body only. Don't scare the girls off by being a creepy guy watching them from behind a corner!
Oh, and by the way: Telling a girl on a first date "I love you" or "You are my dream girl" is so ridiculous that you can easily be interpreted as potential prospective stalker.

Partnership advice#34

Close your zipper

If you see that your shirt is lurking out of your trousers then correct it. Even in front of a woman. Women do this the whole time. Even checking in a hand mirror whether they need to re-make-up. So don't stand there with an open zip and hope she won't recognize it.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Relationship recommendation#35

Women thruout all countries and ethnical groups LOVE men who can dance. If there are some steady rules of attraction on planet Earth then it is "happy attitude" and "dancing".
Have you recognized how even "stupid" boy-groups make young girls crazy? Or Michael Jackson? Did you ever see such an effect on males with girl-groups or Janet Jackson?

If you can dance and women see what a flexible body you have then you are already melting them. Maybe it is a glimpse of how flexible you are during sex. But who knows?

However there's a drawback: BAD dancing can be one of the worst turn offs. So it's a dangerous game.

Partnership advice#36

Things you need to know

Each conversation with a new woman should result in
Knowing her (first) name
Knowing common ground and mutualities
Knowing her telephone number (plus know WHEN you can call her = the day time)
If you don't get her number you have lost. You can try to give her yours. But it is highly unreliable that she will call you back.
See also Use a business card.
Knowing whether she has a boy-friend (don't bring this up until the very last minute) or if she is even married.
Knowing what she dislikes (this is not that necessary, but can save you headaches)

Dating recommendation#37

Conversation suggestions

Here are some suggestions how you can keep the conversation starting/going:
Say "Hi" and smile at her (pretty simple, isn't it?)
Ask her for the time, the date, the time the bus comes etc.
Comment on her. Examples can be to make a note about clothes she wears or to compare her with a movie star. That shows that it's not the standard "Can I stand you a beer?"-talk
Compliment her. See Make compliments.
Follow up by asking her a question like: "Is there any secret behind your shiny hair?". This keeps the conversation going.
Talk about food (e.g. when you meet her in a restaurant/coffee shop). This gets the senses going and creates a "stimulated" atmosphere.
In the end, it's up to you and the kind of woman you talk to.

Partnership rule#38

Make Compliments
Woman have a deep fear that they are ugly. Just think of how women buy ANY cosmetic product on the market. Just think of all the make-up they have in their handbags. I was once in Hong Kong (China) and the owner of a fruit juice shop told me: "Men will never drink unsavory juices. They only drink sweet juices. But many women will drink them as soon as you tell them that it makes them prettier."
In fact this desire in women to look attractive is so strong that women in Afghanistan (although the Taleban introduced the death penalty for using make-up) still colored their eyes/lips secretly.


Women love compliments. It eases the fear of being rejected because of her outlook.
Moreover: If you compliment her she feels confirmed that somebody actually noticed her outfit and comments on it rather than the notorious "Can I stand you a beer" teaser.
You can make compliments on anything you notice: Her skin, her hair, her clothes...
BUT: Don't make a great deal about it. Don't start to write poems and name flowers after her. Because the No sex talks rule and the The irresistible Resistible rule still apply: You can make a "casual" compliment (as if it just slipped into your mind) and then continue to talk about something else.

Relationship advice#39

Be successful and self-confident

"Success makes sexy" and "Sexy smell of success", they say. Women love men who know what they want. Women love men who achieve their goals. Taking risks and breaking rules CAN be a turn-on, even driving too fast. (This is one of the reasons why hard rockers date models). And men know that women want powerful men. In secretly observed female-male flirt encounters scientists found out that most men start to list their "life achievements" shortly after the first "Hello": Where they have been, what they have achieved, what cars they have etc. In other words: Production & seduction go hand in hand.
Thus you should "work and progress" in your life. It is the wrong dating strategy to look shaken up by life and "merely surviving". It is wrong to hope that a woman takes pity on you. Instead of the pick up line "Can I buy you a beer?" the pick up line "Can I buy you a car?" could work better (I didn't try it myself).

Moreover you should mention signs of bravery in your life: You organize seminars and speak in front of a lot of people? Mention it. You are a skydiver? Mention it. You are a fireman and saved a lot of women? Mention it.

This is a side rule of Dress nicely, because clothes emulate success.

Partnership advice#40

Don't symbolize a loser

This is a very important note to many tips on this site:
Being friendly can send out the wrong secret signal to a woman.

Being friendly can make a woman think that you are a loser who has been conditioned by life to knuckle under. Or that there are so many men stronger than you that you have to be subservient to merely survive. This could be the deep "genetical" reason why the "nice guys" may be considered as lie-down-dogs. Thus this rule emphasizes related rules on this site:
  • No sex talks (because you are a loser if you need sex so badly and couldn't get it nowhere else)
  • Be successful and self-confident (because you have to symbolize a winner not a loser)
  • The irresistible Resistible (because you show your strength by resisting. Moreover if she can seduce you then she triumphs over a winner)
  • Don't be a Crybaby (because crybabies are losers)
  • Be brave and fast (because slowness and shyness show that you knuckle under to a "weak" girl)
  • Dress nicely (because clothes make losers or winners)
  • Smile (because a few well placed jokes show that you are not afraid of talking)
In other words: Women seek the combination of "safe+dangerous". Dangerous for others (= you win against others) but safe for herself (this is a reason why some life sentenced criminals get proposals from female strangers).

Maybe the term "dangerous" is a bit misleading. Maybe "stable" describes it better. Stable in the sense of "He can hold his position no matter what". This combo is what women mean by "Nice guy". Please read What "nice" in "Nice guy" means and What a woman asks & what a woman wants.

Relationship advice#41

What "nice" in "Nice guy" means

There is a misconception about the term "Nice guy". Women often talk about "How much they want a nice man". However, "nice" doesn't mean "friendly". The following are the real meanings in a woman's sense:
nice = normal
You have a stable background (work, family, hobbies) and are no psycho
nice = presentable
She can show you her parents, friends
nice = desireable
Other girls want you, too = She won't be laughed at
nice = not grim
She can have fun with you and laughs and a relaxed atmosphere
nice = discreet and trustable
You won't tell anybody her sexual kinkiness
nice = helpful and friendly
You can be her friend and her "crying shoulder"

Love recommendation#42

How to survive though a nice guy?

I think I made myself clear in Don't symbolize a loser that "being nice" alone doesn't get you anywhere. It is the COMBINATION of "being safe" and "being stable/dangerous" that matters. So what should you do to be more successful with women?

Don't be too friendly. Don't make too many compliments. Act as if you don't have to, and those which you make are really meant and casual.
Tell her normal stable things from your life/work/family: What you do, some interesting adventures etc.
YOU decide where to go.
She: "So what shall we do?"
You: "Errrr, mmmmm, it's ladies' choice"
She: "Let's take a walk"
You: "OK" (thinking what a friendly guy you are, but the girl thinks you have no clue and are an insecure loser)

You: "Let's take a walk, shall we?"
Please also read It is your Duty start the action and "No sex" Step by Step.

Dating tip#43

What a woman asks & what a woman wants
Since some women are kind of "complicated" when it comes to express their wishes in clear words (please read It is your Duty to use Words) there CAN BE A REAL DIFFERENCE in what a woman says and what she wants. Thus when you are too friendly (= make her every wish come true) while dating for the first time, it may symbolize that you simply do what she asks for and not what she needs.

There are even some jokes regarding this:
What she says What she means
"Maybe" "No!"
"We need" "I want!"
"I am too fat" "Tell me I'm beautiful!"

In other words: She knows very well that sometimes she wants you to read her real mind. She knows that she needs to cry sometimes or that she has ups and downs. If you are too friendly (= sensitive) it can mean that her everchanging mood involves you so deeply that you won't be her stable rock, who KNOWS what to do. You have to show that whatever happens YOU keep an eye on the overall situation. That you can hold your position. That you can have your OWN opinion of what she needs and what not. That you know when a "yes" is a "no". That you know when her "oh, nothing" is in reality "something really bad".

Partnership advice#44

Your apartment

If a girl comes into your apartment it should look mature:
  • Take off the pin-up girls posters from the fridge door
  • Put away your Star Wars toys
  • Lock away your Hustler collection
  • Buy a big bed
  • Buy some plants
  • Buy some pictures to hang on the wall
  • Buy candles
  • I don't advise you to buy alcohol (wine, champagne...) because it's a drug. But since you will probably drink it anyway, you can buy some wine.
  • Buy coke, chocolate, popcorn, thus something to create a relaxed atmosphere.
  • Keep your flat clean and tidy
  • Keep the bathroom non-smelling/well-smelling
  • Put the latrine cover down
How would you like a girl who has yellow puppets and orange teddy bears sitting in dozens on her bed and wants you to eat with her and her barbies from pink plastic plates?
You see? A non mature girl can be a turn-off.

Love advice#45

Be brave and fast

Women love bravery and enterprise. Bravery is a reason why women like successful and self-confident men (because they proved they are brave) [Be successful and self-confident] and why wearing something quirky works (because they prove they are not afraid of others' opinion) [Have that something special].

So if women like brave men do they dislike boring cowards then? YES.

If you show that you are too shy to talk to her then you have already made the wrong impression BEFORE YOU EVEN SPOKE ONE WORD. For example if you wait too long to talk to her: She sees you, you see her, she sees that you see her and then...... you shy away for minutes or hours. Wrong behaviour, wrong impression. There is even a "Fast Eddie" rule: 1) you see her 2) she sees you 3) you have to approach her fast. As simple as that. THIS SPEED ALONE makes an impression.
Do you have a dating advice? Any comment? Write us!

Love advice#46

Outfit & Behaviour warning
Please keep in mind that you can spoil the best outfit by behaviour and the best behaviour by words. After all YOUR WORDS make it or break it. Imagine a beautiful woman: Attractive, dressed well and she says to you "I cannot stand your face and I am a lesbian". You see? What is more important? The dress or her words+attitude?

Love recommendation#47

Seduction by words
There are ways (= communication strategies) to achieve wanted results. These strategies apply to
any personal relationship
Following strategies are highly effective:

If a person is asked 2 times (or more) a question and agrees 2 times then the person is more willing to agree to the 3rd question, too.


John: "We are having fun, haven't we?"
Jane: "Yes"
John: "Do you want something to drink?"
Jane: "Yes"
John: "Hey, I know a nice cafe. Let's go there, shall we?"
Jane: "Yes".

Don't ask often questions that can be answered with a simple "No". Even if it's a question like "Do you like Coca Cola?" it can produce a defensive attitude towards you. Please also read Let women talk and help.

A person doesn't buy products because of obtrusiveness but because of honesty and sympathy. Thus you have to establish an "affinity line", e.g. "Hey, I have a cat, too". Read also Opposites attract?

Leave her the freedom of choice or the illusion of freedom of choice. It's very good that the woman feels unpressured by you but instead thinks SHE is leading.

Love recommendation#48

The Michael Jackson example

I want to give Michael Jackson as a "dating example" because he is a phenomenon. Since years his female fans shout and cry although it may seem unexplainable for other men. He combines several features mentioned here on this site that makes this more understandable:
  • Dance
  • Have that something special (this applies to his face and clothes)
  • Be successful and self-confident
  • Shaved face
  • Magnetic Mystery Man
  • Dress nicely
  • The irresistible Resistible (he is quite non-sexual, neither man nor woman)
  • No sex talks
  • Impotent homosexual
  • Do something for others (he sings "Save the world"-songs and engages in charity organizations)
  • Don't symbolize a loser (he is one of the top earners and one of the best dancers)
  • He fails however at Deep voice (but he has a strong voice)

Partnership tip#49

Calling her via Telephone

When you have the telephone number of the girl and want to call her for the first time there are some things to consider:
  • Don't call her too soon. This could scare her away. Please also read The irresistible Resistible and Don't stare, don't stalk.
  • Call her 2 to 4 days after you met her. These are reasonable numbers but you can try different ones. You could even tell her when you will call her in the very moment when she tells you the telephone number. Stick to your word then!
  • If you get her answering machine then you can leave a message saying WHEN you call her back.
  • Have a plan of what to say. A blank head and stuttering give the wrong impression.
  • Turn off any TV set or any music.
  • Do a little bit of small talk
  • After a conversational flow is established offer to meet her.
  • Try to find out whether she is really your type.
  • make a few suggestions where you could go together, but don't force her to a specific place and don't criticize her if she doesn't want to go there.
  • A few places where you can go on the first date:
  • Cinema/Movies
  • Bowling, ice-skating
  • Restaurant/Coffee shop
  • Something special (Circus, theatre, local events)
Dating recommendation#50

The first meeting

On the first date all other rules apply: No sex talks, Shaved face etc.
You want to have great fun on the first date and know each other a little better. Don't be so formal, don't be too serious, have a lot of laughs together. Say good-bye when you feel you had a great time. You can ask her to meet you again. Be patient. Don't confuse your own feelings with hers.

If she had a good time, she would be foolish to not to go out again.

Partnership tip#51

Make memories vs. Take memories

When you meet a girl then use your chance to make it memorable. Talking for hours is just sharing/taking memories. But doing something special is MAKING memories: In other words: Do something unusual. I am talking about action. This could be something small as a walk around the block instead of spending the whole night in a bar. Or invite her for next week to go to the circus or a flea market.

By the way: MAKING memories is also one of the best ways to keep a long relationship going. Even during hard times you have a "full pack of mood enhancing old experiences" that protects you from easily splitting up. It can be a small habit like: Going to a restaurant every Friday night. Or going on holidays every year.
have some interesting news for you...

Attractive women know within SECONDS of seeing and/or interacting with you if you're a sexually aware, confident man. And they make the UNCONSCIOUS decision of whether or not you're a possible sexual partner within a maximum of a few minutes of interacting with you. These unconscious decisions are made mostly on the basis of body language and voice tone.

And since we know that "Attraction Isn't A Choice", we can generalize the following:

1. If you don't know what types of body language communicate that you're one of these "sexy beast" guys, you're probably not doing the right things "by accident".

2. The words you say actually don't matter much. What matters is HOW you say them, both with your voice and with your body language.

3. It is possible to learn how to communicate that you're a "sexually aware, confident man" using your body language and voice tone. Learning this skill will make attracting women MUCH easier. Unfortunately, most men are too caught up in the idea of being macho and independent to work on this area of their life... and as a result, they waste most of their time in "quiet desperation", never seeing any real improvement because they don't seek help and use the help to improve.

In short, if you don't know whether or not you project the kind of body language and voice tone that makes women feel that emotional jolt of sexual attraction, then you can bet your last dollar that you aren't. What's a guy to do? Learn it, then use it.

When I first started learning about how to meet women, I can remember thinking that I needed to learn pick up lines and other tricks. I had no idea that this stuff was basically useless without the all-important understanding of how body language works.

After a lot of trial and error, I started to realize that when my body language and voice tone were correct, I could say ALMOST ANYTHING to women, and they would feel ATTRACTION.

Like most guys, you probably want to know WHY this is, as well as how to do it. Well, if you want to REALLY get a deep understanding of this topic, I suggest that you check out my new CD Audio Program. I spend several hours working on the "why".

So in this newsletter, I'm going to focus on some of the "How To"...

Here are three things you can do to IMMEDIATELY increase your attractiveness to women:

1) Learn how to hold eye contact for longer than her.

If you see a woman that you find attractive, and she looks back at you, DON'T LOOK AWAY. Most guys become very self conscious and look away as soon as a woman notices them looking. This is a HUGE mistake.

If you want to communicate all the right things, you need to show IMMEDIATELY that you're not afraid, and that you're not at all self conscious about the fact that you are checking her out.

A good exercise is to walk through a mall for a few hours and look DIRECTLY at every woman you see. Walk into every store, and look directly into the eyes of every single woman you encounter... and DON'T LOOK AWAY UNTIL AFTER SHE DOES.

Do yourself a huge favor, and don't open your eyes really wide and smile like a serial killer while you're doing this exercise. Women don't tend to enjoy that.

Just learn how to hold eye contact with a woman until she looks away...

This is very important.

2) Use confident posture.

Most men I see hold themselves in a way that says "I am not very confident about myself or anything I'm saying".

And most of the guys I know who are chick MAGNETS hold themselves in a way that says "I'm the dominant male in this situation... I own this place".

Suck in your stomach, hold your head up and back, pull your shoulders back, arch your back... and generally hold yourself like you're the most powerful person you've ever seen or heard of.

Yea, I know this sounds dorky, but do it anyway.

You'll probably feel strange and self conscious at first, but not to worry.

If you continue to practice your confident posture, you'll soon become comfortable with it. And more important, you'll attract attention from women.

Remember, women aren't interested in finding another average Wuss Boy. Women aren't ATTRACTED to WUSSIES.

Carry yourself like a manly man, and attractive women will notice and have INSTANT positive unconscious reactions to you.

3) Use SLOW, CALCULATED movements and gestures.

Watch a few James Bond films. And while you're at it, check out "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels".

Have you ever noticed that James Bond never looks like he doesn't know how to act? And that he never fidgets or behaves nervously?

Everything James does is a little slower than is should be. He's just too cool.

Try learning how to turn your head slowly, how to blink slowly, how to change facial expressions slowly... and how to gesture slowly.

This makes a huge impact on how others perceive you.

This kind of body language transmits the message: "I'm so comfortable in my own skin, it hurts".

4) Confident voice tone.

Most people speak with weak, squeaky voices that convey the message "I'm not confident... I have no self esteem".

This turns women off. Big time.

If you want to attract beautiful women, you're going to need to take a few lessons from Barry White.

Learn how to speak with a deeper voice. Learn to speak from down in your chest and stomach. Add more bass to your voice.

Also, learn how to speak slower... and how to articulate every word better. Become comfortable pausing... it creates anticipation. Most guys talk too much, too fast, and feel like they need to talk because they're nervous. Don't do it! Learn to lean back, relax, and become comfortable with the tension that comes from silence.

If you work on communicating with your BODY AND VOICE that you're a confident, sexually aware, stud-muffinly guy, then all the techniques you're learning from me will work TEN times better. Really.

As you know, I really believe that it takes a DEEP understanding of how and why ATTRACTION works between men and women before you will actually begin to "GET IT" at that deep level in your GUT... which leads to ACTION.
Unajua wanaume wengi huwa hawawa kojoleshi mademu wao na ndio maana mademu huchukuwa watu wengine. Hapa ni baadhi yamambo ya kufanya kabla hamjaingiliana. Enjoy.
How to make a woman orgasm!

Attention all men!

If you"re looking to go beyond just satisfying your woman... AND if you want to give her a mind-blowing orgasm keep on reading....

These love-making tips are going to enhance your sex life completely for both you and your girlfriend.

First of all breathe;

1. Breathing

Breathing deeply can increase your sexual desire because it will relax you and heighten your senses. During intercourse learn to breath with your woman, this a sexy way to feel a connection and bond with her, this will turn you both on!

When you do it, you will see it will lead to fantastic, mind- blowing orgasms.

2. The art of foreplay

You should spend plenty of time with foreplay, firstly it will relax both of you, secondly it"s fun but most importantly it will make your orgasm so much more pleasurable and it will last much longer! This is mainly because you will be extremely turned-on and you"ll be desperate to climax, this will heighten your sexual urge!

Most women find foreplay essential for orgasm, so do some men in fact. But remember guys if you want your woman to climax you need to heighten her arousal with foreplay!

3. Kissing, it may sound obvious but in a recent poll 90% of both men and women wanted more kissing from their partner.

It is a very passionate way to show affection, so tease her with sexy kissing or French kissing. (To learn how to french kiss, read my other article)

4. Explore all the erogenous zones;

Of course explore all the obvious ones, but go for the zones that are forgotten by most men.

For example; the most sensitive zone for women is usually her neck, you should lick, kiss and gently bite her neck and throat to arouse her.

Other erogenous zones are the scalp and hair - tugging, Stroking or running your hands over her scalp, most women find this highly erotic!

4. Learn the art of massage

If you learn how to massage you will have much hotter sex-fact!

It"s not difficult, just buy some sensual oils and get her lie on her front and massage her back, shoulders and lower back, by rubbing the oils into your hands and slowing but firmly start rubbing her body.

This will feel great for her, because you will be stimulating her senses, which will turn her on. The benefit for you of course is you get to rub her oily body and rub your hands all over her which will turn you on too! This will relax both of you, and it"s a proven fact that sex is much better when you"re both relaxed

5. Communication

I know this sounds silly but talking about sex is something that a lot of us just don"t do enough of, talk to her and ask her what turns her on, ask her what she doesn"t like, and vice versa, tell her what turns you on.

If you both communicate you will know exactly what both of want and you will maximize your orgasms by doing this because you will press all the right buttons-for her and you!

6. Talk

Sex is communication. Talk during sex!

Tell her how much you want her and how much you love what she"s doing! If we feel we are pleasing our partners it turns us on even more!

7. Variety is the spice of life!

If sex is the same every single time it can become boring, so add a little bit of spice and spontaneity!

The excitement will turn you both on, take her somewhere and have sex in a place you wouldn"t normally even dream of! Live out each others fantasies! Try different positions!

There is plenty to learn with sex, so practice different things- practice is fun!

But whatever you do, do it with desire and passion and show her how much you want her, other wise it"s not even worth starting! You both need to feel the desire, love and passion!

So follow these tips and you will enjoy great sex and she will be begging for more...

Autor: Terri Bennett
Added: January 21, 2007
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/
DEMU.. .. silipendi hili neno.....sijui ni kiwakilishi.....sijui kivumishi. .sijui nomino yaaani sijui na silipendi
DEMU.. .. silipendi hili neno.....sijui ni kiwakilishi.....sijui kivumishi. .sijui nomino yaaani sijui na silipendi
Bora hata siku hizi zamani wakati ndio tunakua ilikuwa issue kweli, kwanza ilikuwa kama udhalilishwaji.
But ukweli ni kwamba linatokana na neno zuri tu “madam” so ni “dam” ambalo kwa swaga likawa “demu”
Bora hata siku hizi zamani wakati ndio tunakua ilikuwa issue kweli, kwanza ilikuwa kama udhalilishwaji.
But ukweli ni kwamba linatokana na neno zuri tu “madam” so ni “dam” ambalo kwa swaga likawa “demu”
sio kwa swagger hio
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