Gwynne Dyer TONY Blair (or the Winston Churchill of our times, as he was known in the Bush White House) is not going to be the first president of the European Union (EU). And Iceland is not going to join the EU either. This sort of story only gets traction in the summer holidays, when all the movers and shakers are away at the cottage/villa/yacht and there is very little real news to hold the ads apart. Yet somehow or other, something resembling news must be inserted between the ads. Iceland, we are told, is going to join the EU, and it is also going to start using the single currency, the euro. Indeed, the Icelandic parliament, the Althing, has just voted to start the negotiations, and the EU says it would be happy to have the big island as its 28th member or 29th or 30th or 31st, depending on whether Croatia and/or Macedonia and/or Albania make it into the EU first. Do not believe it. The Icelanders want to join the EU now because the country is dead broke, the Icelandic krona is worth less than the Lower Slobbovian gugulev, and they are scared for the future. When there is only 320,000 of you and the bottom falls out of your economy, the shelter of big, seemingly solid institutions like the EU and the euro has an irresistible appeal. It has been a fast, steep fall for the Icelanders, who were among the most prosperous people in the world only one year ago. Hardly any of them wanted to join the EU, suspecting that its member countries only wanted access to Icelandic waters so they could vacuum up all their fish. Besides, Icelandic banks, which had practically taken over the economy, were among the most profitable in the world. It was the banks that caused Icelands downfall. The country radically deregulated its banking system some years ago, and the small, previously humble Icelandic banks suddenly became major international players. With government backing, they grew rapidly until they were 10 times the size of the real economy, yet all of the Icelandic bank directors had a total of about 25 minutes of international banking experience. The island had become a giant hedge fund sitting in the middle of the North Atlantic, and when the bubble burst last October, it promptly morphed into a soup-kitchen. The currency collapsed, unemployment soared and the government fell. The new government, headed by Social Democratic prime minister Johanna Sigurdardottir, saw no other option than to seek shelter within the EU. But Arni Thor Sigurdsson, chair of Icelands parliamentary committee handling EU issues, reckons that the entry negotiations will take at least four years. Then, probably in 2013, there will have to be a referendum. By that time, the world economy will have recovered and Icelanders will have regained their usual confidence or at least, enough of it to reject membership in the EU, whose only plausible motive for wanting them to join is to steal their fish. So it will not happen. Then there is Tony Blair, who was prime minister of Britain for 10 years before his Labour colleagues finally got him out in mid-2007. He was only 54 when he finally left office, and the make-work job they found him afterward as Middle East envoy of the Quartet (the US, Russia, EU and the United Nations) does not really fill his time. So why not President of the EU? Well, for one thing, the job does not exist yet. It will come into existence if and when the Lisbon Treaty is ratified, which can only happen if Ireland votes yes in a second referendum in October. (The Irish voted no in their first referendum in mid-2008, but opinion polls suggest that they have changed their minds). Even if the Irish vote yes, however, the Poles and the Czechs also have to ratify it. Both the Czech and Polish parliaments have approved the Lisbon Treaty, but both presidents dislike it and have not yet signed it. If one of them stalls until there is an election in the UK and the Conservatives take power, the latter would then hold a British referendum on the treaty, and the British might reject it. It would, therefore, be a bit premature for any of the candidates for EU president to give up their day jobs. Blair has not even admitted that he is a candidate. As an ally explained: He wants it, but he does not want to be humiliated by failing to get it. He should stick with that position, because he is not going to get it. It is six years since Tony Blair illegally invaded Iraq, siding with George W. Bush and against most of the other large EU states. The British public turned against his war, but most of his western European neighbours were against it from the start. A significant number even think of him as an unindicted war criminal. The EU frequently shoots itself in the foot, but it will not discredit its new presidency from the start by putting Blair in the job.