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The Dirtiest man in the world

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Bubu Msemaovyo, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. Bubu Msemaovyo

    Bubu Msemaovyo JF-Expert Member

    Nov 20, 2007
    Joined: May 9, 2007
    Messages: 3,436
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    Huyu bwana amefagilia uchafu alionao utadhani kitu cha maana sana. Lakini kwa wenzetu kuwa mchafu sana ni mtaji kwani unakuwa umejiajiri, watu wanaingia kukuona kwa dollar. You become a private Museum. Huo ni ubunifu tosha.

    The Dirtiest Man In the World by Shel Silverstein

    Oh I'm Dirty Dan, the world's dirtiest man,
    I never have taken a shower.
    I can't see my shirt – it's so covered with dirt,
    And my ears have enough to grow flowers.
    But the water is either a little too hot,
    Or else it's a little to cold.
    I'm musty and dusty and patchy and scratchy
    And mangy and covered with mold.
    But the water is always a little too hot,
    Or else it's a little too cold.
    I live in a pen with five hogs and a hen
    And three squizzly lizards who creep in
    My bed, and they itch as I squirm, and I twitch
    In the cruddy old sheets that I sleep in.
    If you looked down my throat with a flashlight, you'd note
    That my insides are coated with rust.
    I creak when I walk and I squeak when I talk,
    And each time I sneeze I blow dust.
    The thought of a towel and some soap makes me howl,
    And when people have something to tell me
    They don't come and tell it – they stand back and yell it.
    I think they're afraid they might smell me.
    The bedbugs that leap on me sing me to sleep,
    And the garbage flies buzz me awake.
    They're the best friends I've found and I fear they might drown
    So I never go too near a lake.
    Each evening at nine I sit down to dine
    With the termites who live in my chair,
    And I joke with the bats and have intimate chats
    With the cooties who crawl through my hair.
    I'd brighten my life if I just found a wife,
    But I fear that that never will be
    Until I can find a girl, gentle and kind,
    With a beautiful face and a sensitive mind,
    Who sparkles and twinkles and glistens and shines –
    And who's almost as dirty as me.