Nini kinachowasukuma baadhi ya kinadada/kinamama kukubali kuwa 'nyumba ndogo'?

[Maty]

Afu nawatamani saana hao nyumba ndogo wababe wakutane na nyumba kubwa mie ndiyo watajua kama MWIZI ana power or not.

Hahaha nyumba kubwa umenifurahisha sana leo hujakutana na wataalamu wa kubeba waume wa watu mama, mume unabebewa na ukileta za kuleta unachezea kichapo huku mumeo kakaa pembeni anakushangaa. Omba Mungu mumeo tu awe mtulivu mama kwa sababu wanaume ndio hawana adabu kabisa, mtu anajijua ana mke lakini anakutongoza hata mwaka mzima. Usikufuru mama wanaume hawana mana kabisa

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Nilishasema before. Hata wahathirika wa ukimwi wanadunda mpaka pale wanapopewa majibu ndio wanaanza kujihisi ni wagonjwa. As long as I don't know kwa nini nijali?
Or are you trying to advise all wives kuishi na mashaka kwa kuwa 100% ya men ni cheaters????

Unaongea kwa kujiamini,yaelekea mumeo ni mtaalam wa kukufool kiasi kwamba unaamini yeye ni clean,hata mimi mke wangu hawezi amini kuwa nina nyumba ndogo,lakini...

 

[Gaijin]

Nyumba Kubwa
There is no where, I have said anything of the sort,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,when you get a chance, please do take a few minutes to review my comments !

Side Note

• Be advised that, I do not condone, nyumba ndogo but feel no symphathy and have zero respect for wives who fail to take into task their cheating husbands, and instead wanaenda kugombana na hizo nyumba ndogo!
• All the arguing, at least from my part was to try and make you a wife, and hopefully other wives in here see that the problem is not the other woman, as much as the man involved in the triangle!He is the who OWES you FIDELITY
• Even if its the case where the woman made an advance, shouldnt the man , knowing that he is married refuse? My dear it is this type of inferiror thinking and silly excuses, that you wives allow that encourages and perpetuate hizi nyumba ndogo.

Nemo you are on point.

Mume akichukua nyumba ndogo, nyumba kubwa a deal na mume wake, huyo mwanamke mwengine hajamhusu.

Akiwa mwanamke alijilengesha au mwanamme alimfata mwenyewe, yote hayo yanaonyesha tatizo ni la mwanamme mliekubaliana nae kuishi pamoja bila kucheat na mengineyo.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Kama umeoa afu una uliza swali kama hilo naomba nikushangae. Ila kama huko single ngoja wanaume waje wakujibu.

Sanahani wanajamvi naomba kujuzwa haya yafuatayo.
1.Nani anayetoa maamuzi kuwa hii ni nyumba kubwa na hii ni nyumba ndogo
2.Utaitambuaje nyumba kubwa na nyumba ndogo,kwa mtu usiyehusika na mmoja kati ya wahusika wa hizo nyumba.

Nimeuliza hivi kwa kuwa kuna wanaume wamejenga nyumba ambazo wanaishi na hawa waitwao nyumba ndogo na nyumba kubwa,huku utamwona na kule pia,utatambuaje kuwa nyumba kubwa ni ipi na nani mwenye mamlaka ya kugawa ukubwa wa nyumba ?

 

[Freema Agyeman]

Nilishasema before. Hata wahathirika wa ukimwi wanadunda mpaka pale wanapopewa majibu ndio wanaanza kujihisi ni wagonjwa. As long as I don't know kwa nini nijali?
Or are you trying to advise all wives kuishi na mashaka kwa kuwa 100% ya men ni cheaters????

Kuna msemo usemao ni wao akiwa kwako akitoka nje si wako. Na pia leo si jana, siku pendo lake kwako likichuja utaelewa wanachokiongelea kina dada wengi humu. Honeymoon does not last for ever.

NB; sikushauri kabisa kuishi kwa mashaka kuwa mumeo aweza kuwa anacheat.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

That is what I call LOW SELF_ESTEEM. Unatembezewa kichapo mbele ya mumeo and you still call yourself a WIFE????

Hahaha nyumba kubwa umenifurahisha sana leo hujakutana na wataalamu wa kubeba waume wa watu mama, mume unabebewa na ukileta za kuleta unachezea kichapo huku mumeo kakaa pembeni anakushangaa. Omba Mungu mumeo tu awe mtulivu mama kwa sababu wanaume ndio hawana adabu kabisa, mtu anajijua ana mke lakini anakutongoza hata mwaka mzima. Usikufuru mama wanaume hawana mana kabisa

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Hao wanaoishi na wanaume chupi mkononi hata niki comment the whole page sitaweza kuwasaidia; kwani ndivyo walivyo na ndiyo maana nikwahita low self esteem. Naongelea mwanamke anayejua position yake kama MKE.

Nimeshakuelewa NK, role ya mwanamke anayejua position yake kama MKE ni kumprotect mumewe kwa kufight na nyumba ndogo!

 

[Gaijin]

Na ukimkuta nyumba ndogo anaejiamini huwezi kamwe abadan kumvaa na kumzushia varangati.

Atakuuliza kwa misingi ipi? Who are you? Mumeo ndo nani? Na masuala mengine yote atakurefer kwa huyo huyo mume. Utampiga?

 

[H1N1]

Kwa research gani ulofanya ku conclude kuwa watu wamekuwa WIFE by chance. Give me a break!

Nyie ndio mnaoendeleza discourses zile zinazo justify vimada. Ooh mume wake wala hakumpenda wazazi walimlazimisha. Ooh Alijishikisha mimba ndio kaolewa. Oooh wanalala tu kama kaka na dada.

Kama alijishikisha mimba na unaona ndiyo njia ya ku force ndoa na wewe umekatazwa; ni tasa? Kama wanalala kama kaka na dada kwa nini asiamie kwako wewe kimada anakolala kama mke na mume.

Nipo asili ya mahusiano yako na huyo mmeo,je ni mume wako wa maono yako ? au ni jamaa alitaka hit and run ukamg'ang'ania tu...

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Will my answer make you change your mind set???

Nipo asili ya mahusiano yako na huyo mmeo,je ni mume wako wa maono yako ? au ni jamaa alitaka hit and run ukamg'ang'ania tu...

 

[H1N1]

Nilishasema before. Hata wahathirika wa ukimwi wanadunda mpaka pale wanapopewa majibu ndio wanaanza kujihisi ni wagonjwa. As long as I don't know kwa nini nijali?
Or are you trying to advise all wives kuishi na mashaka kwa kuwa 100% ya men ni cheaters????

waishi wakiamini kuwa hakuna tatizo kwani hakuna mume atayemwambia mke kuwa ananyumba ndogo.

 

[Kaizer]

Aisee..hii habari ya nyumba ndogo hii....isijelete balaa hapa ngoja niwaconsult magwiji ODM and co.....:confused2:

 

[daughter]

Na ukimkuta nyumba ndogo anaejiamini huwezi kamwe abadan kumvaa na kumzushia varangati.

Atakuuliza kwa misingi ipi? Who are you? Mumeo ndo nani? Na masuala mengine yote atakurefer kwa huyo huyo mume. Utampiga?

apo sasa,hii maneno ya kucheat watu hukoseaga sana kwa kudeal na 'mwizi' wakati hao hao wenza wao waliofunga nao mkataba wa kuwafaithful ndio wenye maamuzi ya mwisho ya 'kuibwa'.

 

[Kaizer]

Hao wanaoishi na wanaume chupi mkononi hata niki comment the whole page sitaweza kuwasaidia; kwani ndivyo walivyo na ndiyo maana nikwahita low self esteem. Naongelea mwanamke anayejua position yake kama MKE.

Hivi NK mtu mwneye low self esteem sijui...inakuwaje hasa....mi hata sielewi maana yake hebu do ze nidiful apo basi...kish tuendelee

 

[Kaizer]

apo sasa,hii maneno ya kucheat watu hukoseaga sana kwa kudeal na 'mwizi' wakati hao hao wenza wao waliofunga nao mkataba wa kuwafaithful ndio wenye maamuzi ya mwisho ya 'kuibwa'.

daughter naombe nikuulize msimamo wako hapo ni upi......

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Maty my dear; embu tuweke kando mambo ya nyumba ndogo turudi kwenye woman to woman chat; Hivi inawezekana mwanaume akakufuatilia mwaka?? Na wewe huna hata feelings nae??? Am sure kuna signs za matumaini zinazo mfanya aendelee kukusumbua mwaka.


Nikikumbuka ujana wangu sikuwahi kuruhusu usumbufu wa muda mrefu kwani if you are not the one siumi umi maneno nakupa live na hutakuwa na hamu ya kuendelea kunifuata hata three months nini mwaka.

Hahaha nyumba kubwa umenifurahisha sana leo hujakutana na wataalamu wa kubeba waume wa watu mama, mume unabebewa na ukileta za kuleta unachezea kichapo huku mumeo kakaa pembeni anakushangaa. Omba Mungu mumeo tu awe mtulivu mama kwa sababu wanaume ndio hawana adabu kabisa, mtu anajijua ana mke lakini anakutongoza hata mwaka mzima. Usikufuru mama wanaume hawana mana kabisa

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

That is what I call LOW SELF_ESTEEM. Unatembezewa kichapo mbele ya mumeo and you still call yourself a WIFE????

Even if u choose to abandon that name WIFE and decide to walk away......ila kichapo umechezea! Habari ndo hiyo!

 

[Gaijin]

Kaizer suala lako la msingi sana. Manake wengine tunashindwa pia kutofautisha high self esteem na egoism even.

Mtu asiyekubali kuwa mumewe amemtaka mwanamke mwengine (bila ya mwanamke kujitakisha awali) huyu ana high self-esteem au ni egoism inasumbua?

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Haya nime copy hayo maelezo ya maana ya self-esteem

DefinitionsThe original normal definition presents self-esteem as a ratio found by dividing one's successes in areas of life of importance to a given individual by the failures in them or one's "success / pretensions".[SUP][10][/SUP] Problems with this approach come from making self-esteem contingent upon success: this implies inherent instability because failure can occur at any moment.[SUP][11][/SUP] In the mid 1960s, Morris Rosenberg and social-learning theorists defined self-esteem in terms of a stable sense of personal worth or worthiness.[SUP][12][/SUP] Nathaniel Branden in 1969 defined self-esteem as "...the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness". According to Branden, self-esteem is the sum of self-confidence (a feeling of personal capacity) and self-respect (a feeling of personal worth). It exists as a consequence of the implicit judgement that every person does about, on one side, his/her ability to face life's challenges, that is, to understand and solve problems, and, on the other side, his right to achieve happiness, or, in other words, to respect and defend his own interests and needs.[SUP][8][/SUP] This two-factor approach, as some have also called it, provides a balanced definition that seems to be capable of dealing with limits of defining self-esteem primarily in terms of competence or worth alone.[SUP][13][/SUP]
Branden's description of self-esteem includes the following primary properties:

• self-esteem as a basic human need, i.e., "...it makes an essential contribution to the life process", "...is indispensable to normal and healthy self-development, and has a value for survival."
• self-esteem as an automatic and inevitable consequence of the sum of individuals' choices in using their consciousness
• something experienced as a part of, or background to, all of the individuals thoughts, feelings and actions.

Branden's concept of self-esteem is graduated, involving three main levels:

• To have a high self-esteem is to feel confidently capable for life, or, in Branden's words, to feel able and worthy, or to feel right as a person.[SUP][8][/SUP]
• To have a low self-esteem corresponds to not feeling ready for life, or to feeling wrong as a person.[SUP][8][/SUP]
• To have a middle ground self-esteem is to waver between the two states above, that is, to feel able and useless, right and wrong as a person, and to show these incongruities in behavior, acting at times wisely, and at rashly others, thus reinforcing insecurity.[SUP][8][/SUP]

Implicit self-esteem refers to a person's disposition to evaluate themselves positively or negatively in a spontaneous, automatic, or unconscious manner. It contrasts with explicit self-esteem, which entails more conscious and reflective self-evaluation. Both explicit self-esteem and implicit self-esteem are subtypes of self-esteem proper. Implicit self-esteem is assessed using indirect measures of cognitive processing, including the Name Letter Task[SUP][14][/SUP] Such indirect measures are designed to reduce awareness of, or control of, the process of assessment. When used to assess implicit self-esteem, they feature stimuli designed to represent the self, such as personal pronouns (e.g., "I") or letters in one's name.[SUP][citation needed][/SUP]
[h=3][edit] Variations[/h]Level and quality of self-esteem, though correlated, remain distinct:

1. in terms of its constancy over time (stability)
2. in terms of its independence of meeting particular conditions (non-contingency)
3. in terms of its ingrained nature at a basic psychological level (implicitness or automatized)

[h=2][edit] Measurement[/h]For the purposes of empirical research, psychologists typically assess self-esteem by a self-report inventory yielding a quantitative result. They establish the validity and reliability of the questionnaire prior to its use.
Whereas popular lore recognizes just "high" self-esteem and "low" self-esteem, the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (1965) and the Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory (1967/1981) both quantify it in more detail, and feature among the most widely used systems for measuring self-esteem. The Rosenberg test usually uses a ten-question battery scored on a four-point response system that requires participants to indicate their level of agreement with a series of statements about themselves. The Coopersmith Inventory uses a 50-question battery over a variety of topics and asks subjects whether they rate someone as similar or dissimilar to themselves.[SUP][15][/SUP]
[h=3][edit] Levels[/h]Self-esteem is a graduated concept. Taking this into consideration, people may essentially have three main degrees of self-esteem:

• To have a high self-esteem is to feel confidently capable for life, or, in Branden's words, to feel able and worth, or to feel right as a person.[SUP][8][/SUP]

• To have a low self-esteem corresponds to not feeling ready for life, or to feeling wrong as a person.[SUP][8][/SUP]

• To have a middle ground self-esteem is to waver between the two states above, that is, to feel able and useless, right and wrong as a person, and to show these incongruities in behavior, acting, at times, wisely, and rashly at others, thus reinforcing insecurity.[SUP][8][/SUP]

In practice, and according to Nathaniel Branden's experience, everybody is able to develop positive self-esteem, and nobody has a totally undeveloped self-esteem. The more flexible is a person, the better he can resist everything that would otherwise make him fall into failure or desperation.[SUP][8][/SUP]
[h=2][edit] Positive self-esteem[/h]
Pyramid of Maslow.


People with a healthy level of self-esteem:[SUP][16][/SUP]

• firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others don't like their choice.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future, but live in the present intensely.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask others for help when they need it.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige or financial standing.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• take for granted that they are an interesting and valuable person for others, at least for those with whom they have a friendship.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• are sensitive to feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted social rules, and claim no right or desire to prosper at others' expense.[SUP][9][/SUP]

[h=3][edit] Importance[/h]Abraham Maslow states that no psychological health is possible unless the essential core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by others and by his self. Self-esteem allows people to face life with more confidence, benevolence and optimism, and thus easily reach their goals and self-actualize.[SUP][8][/SUP] It allows oneself to be more ambitious, but not with respect to possessions or success, but with respect to what one can experience emotionally, creatively and spiritually. To develop self-esteem is to widen the capacity to be happy; self-esteem allows people to be convinced they deserve happiness.[SUP][8][/SUP] Understanding this is fundamental, and universally beneficial, since the development of positive self-esteem increases the capacity to treat other people with respect, benevolence and goodwill, thus favoring rich interpersonal relationships and avoiding destructive ones.[SUP][8][/SUP] For Erich Fromm, love of others and love of ourselves are not alternatives. On the contrary, an attitude of love toward themselves will be found in all those who are capable of loving others.
Self-esteem allows creativity at the workplace, and is a specially critical condition for teaching professions.[SUP][17][/SUP]
José-Vicente Bonet reminds us that the importance of self-esteem is obvious when one realizes that the opposite of it is not the esteem of others, but self-rejection, a characteristic of that state of great unhappiness that we call "depression".[SUP][9][/SUP] As Freud put it, the depressive has suffered 'an extraordinary diminution in his self-regard, an impoverishment of his ego on a grand scale....He has lost his self-respect'.[SUP][18][/SUP]
The Yogyakarta Principles, a document on international human rights law adress that discriminatory attitude toward LGBT peoples make their self-esteem low to be subject to human rights violation including human trafficking.[SUP][19][/SUP] And World Health Organization recommends at "Preventing Suicide" published in 2000 the strengthening student's self-esteem to protect children and adrescents against mental distress and despondency, and emable them to cope adequately with difficult ans stressful life situations.[SUP][20][/SUP]
[h=2][edit] Low self-esteem[/h]A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following symptoms:[SUP][21][/SUP]

• Heavy self-criticism, tending to create a habitual state of dissatisfaction with oneself.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Hypersensitivity to criticism, which makes oneself feel easily attacked and experience obstinate resentment against critics.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Chronic indecision, not so much because of lack of information, but from an exaggerated fear of making a mistake.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Excessive will to please: being unwilling to say "no", out of fear of displeasing the petitioner.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Perfectionism, or self-demand to do everything attempted "perfectly" without a single mistake, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Neurotic guilt: one is condemned for behaviors which not always are objectively bad, exaggerates the magnitude of mistakes or offenses and complains about them indefinitely, never reaching full forgiveness.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Floating hostility, irritability out in the open, always on the verge of exploding even for unimportant things; an attitude characteristic of somebody who feels bad about everything, who is disappointed or unsatisfied with everything.[SUP][9][/SUP]
• Defensive tendencies, a general negative (one is pessimistic about everything: life, future, and, above all, oneself) and a general lack of will to enjoy life.[SUP][[/SUP]
  

  Hivi NK mtu mwneye low self esteem sijui...inakuwaje hasa....mi hata sielewi maana yake hebu do ze nidiful apo basi...kish tuendelee

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Na unaweza kupima self esteem yako on line ingia hapa:
Discovery Health "Health Guides"=

Hivi NK mtu mwneye low self esteem sijui...inakuwaje hasa....mi hata sielewi maana yake hebu do ze nidiful apo basi...kish tuendelee