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New employment rules for serious companies. Je tanzania zitatufaa????

Discussion in 'Jukwaa la Sheria (The Law Forum)' started by Maarifa, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. Maarifa

    Maarifa JF-Expert Member

    Jul 11, 2012
    Joined: Nov 23, 2006
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    New Employment Rules
    For serious Companies to adopt

    We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    Kort Kort pregnant is banned. You must first apply to your superiors and with their approval you’ll then be allowed to be pregnant. It will only be allowed once in 10yrs and you only get 1 month maternity leave. No male shall get leave related to his wife’s pregnancy, sickness o even death (he is not a midwife, a doctor nor an undertaker).

    Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

    Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

    This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends or relatives. Every effort should be made to have non-employees to attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled for the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch-hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

    This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks’ notice to allow time for you to train your own replacement.

    Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance: All employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8.00 to 8.20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8.20 to 8.40 and so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both workers' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing.
    In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the toilets. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, and the door will open..

    Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim fast and take a diet pill.

    It is advised that you must come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing designer clothing we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.
    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.

    Have a nice day
    Yours senior HRM Expert
  2. Mkirua

    Mkirua JF-Expert Member

    Jul 11, 2012
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
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    Na kuhusu migomo je?

    SOLOMO JF-Expert Member

    Jul 15, 2012
    Joined: Jun 28, 2012
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    the present situation is moreless the same to some working places! Trade Unions should be tougher otherwise ....!
  4. Kimbori

    Kimbori JF-Expert Member

    Jul 15, 2012
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    Which kind of company is use such strick and humilative by-laws? Its safe to have self employment.
  5. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    Jul 16, 2012
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    teh teh, mara ya kwanza kuisoma hii nlicheka sana! meipenda ya maternity leave. . .