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My gay son wants his boyfriend to stay over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Rutashubanyuma, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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    My gay son wants his boyfriend to stay over


    Dear Coleen,

    Last year, my son confessed to my husband and I that he was gay. It took a lot of courage for him to admit this and we told him we’d support him and love him whatever his sexuality.

    The thing is, although outwardly I behave like it’s the most normal thing in the world, I can’t help feeling so disappointed and worried about what the future might hold for him. He’s our only child and I suppose I imagined he’d have a wife and a family, and now those dreams have been crushed.

    He’s 19 and at university and seems to be having a great time. He called me last week to ask if he could bring his boyfriend home in a few weekends’ time. He wants us to meet him and says their relationship is serious.

    I said yes, but I’d rather his boyfriend didn’t stay in the same room. I just don’t think I’m ready to accept him sleeping with another man under my roof – I’m not sure I ever will.
    I feel guilty for thinking this as he’s a lovely boy and a credit to us – intelligent, sensitive and caring. I’m not sure how to cope with these feelings or how I’m going to react when they do come to stay. Any advice?

    Coleen says..

    You’ve handled the situation brilliantly. It’s wonderful that your son feels able to confide in you but, as a mum myself, I understand where you’re coming from.

    You’re probably grieving for the future you’d imagined for your son. It’s wrong, but from the moment our children arrive, we start imagining how their lives are going to be – jobs, weddings, kids and so on. When it doesn’t work out like that, you have to give up those hopes and dreams.

    It must have been hard for him to get up the courage to tell you – but it’s hard for you, too and it’s OK to admit that.

    As far as him staying at your house with his boyfriend, I wouldn’t treat that any differently than if he wanted to bring a girl to stay. If you wouldn’t want him sleeping in the same bed as a girl he’d just met under your roof then this shouldn’t be any different.

    Just be honest with him and say you’re not ready to see him going to bed with his lover in your home. He might not be expecting that anyway. He probably assumes it’ll be separate beds!

    I’m sure your son understands it’ll take you some time to get used to the situation but I’m sure he feels grateful to have such great parents.

  2. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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    Hapa wazazi walifikiri wametatua tatizo kumbe ndipo walipolikaribisha vizuri sasa hawajui la kufanya......................walipoambiwa kuwa ni "gay" na kijana wao walitakiwa kuanza maombi maalumu kwa Bwana Yesu amtoe huko kwa nguvu za Mwenyezi Mungu tu kulikuwa hakuna njia nyingine...............................Have your say.................what do you think?
  3. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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    This is very zungu mkuu.....
  4. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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  5. M

    Mkare JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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    I see, hii kitu we need to pray too hard kwa kweli...!
  6. Pearl

    Pearl JF-Expert Member

    Jan 19, 2011
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    I real dnt thing my lover of my soul{JESUS} anaingia kwenye upuuzi kama huu hapa!,will cme mida for sme comments