Msaada; Njia gani nzuri ya kuachana na mpenzi wako?

[Jimmy George]

Hello MMU,

Naomba mnisaidie ushauri juu ya hili.

Unapoamua kuachana na mtu si kwamba unakuwa umemchoka au upendo umeisha bali huweza kuwepo sababu mbalimbali zitakazoweza kukufanya uweze kumuacha.

Sababu hizo huweza kuwa tofauti ya dini, wazazi kukataa, dini kutoruhusu (mfano hairuhusiwi kuoa aliyeachika na mumewe/mkewe ambaye bado yupo hai) au ulikuwa na mpenzi zaidi ya mmoja na umeamua kuwa na mmoja muoane.

Sasa naomba mnisaidie ni njia gani au ni maneno gani unaweza kutumia ili kumfikishia ujumbe huyo unayetaka kuachana nae pasipo kumuumiza nafsi yake.

 

[mansuly]

Be Silence

 

[konhokibopa]

Duh jamaa mkatil wew....by the way binafs naamin inategemea na hatua mliyofikia since muanze relation yenu....lakin pia inategemea na aina ya maisha ya mapenz yenu(wapo ambao walijiwek sana waz kwa kila mtu tena hta kwa mbwembwe)...pia inategemea na aina ya mwenza ulienae(yan kwamba kile unachokiskia kuhus mpnz wko ktk maskio yko kinaendana na kile unachokiona machoni ju yke?..) Mf km unaskia wakimsifia ni mzur/mrembo je ukimwangalia wew binafs unaliona hilo au magumashi???..kwamba anajipenda..mstaarabu...mkalimu...mcha mungu n.k lazima uoanishe na uhalisia wake mana wew ukikosea kuevaluate au kujudge hzo qualities bas yawezkn ukajikuta unamuacha kimakosa au kihalali

Sasa ni hv km mpo dini tofaut tumia kigezo hicho kwa utulivu mueleze ila km ata act ht kubadil din duh ilo janga....ila kiukwel hakuna kaz ngumu kam kuutetea uwongo hivo nakushaur muweke waz andaa mazngra tulivu ya kumwambia then utaanza ado ado kusho actions km kujib txt kwa mkato...kuchelew kujib au kupokea simu zake au hta kutopiga evn micd cal zake...km unahakik namb yke kichwan huna bs ukiifuta ni vyema zaid...acha kumfatilia mitandaoni n.k itakusaidia

 

[luse]

Let me stop you right there, hakuna maneno utakayoweza kumwambia mtu kuwa unabreak-up nae na asikwazike/kuumia nafsi.
Kama kuna mtu unabreak up nae halafu asiumie, basi jua kuwa huyo alikuwa hana feelings zozote kwako. Alikuwa nawe kwasababu zake anazozijua yeye, lakini sio kwa mapenzi ya dhati.

So turudi kwenye swali lako, ukiachana na mtu nenda straight to the point, usi-sugar coat kitu chochote, na shikilia maamuzi yako. Anaweza akalia, akakutukana au akafanya kitu chochote kile kujaribu kubadilisha maamuzi yako. Usikubali. We mwambie sababu za wewe kuachana nae, msikilize na yeye atakujibu nini, kama anajaribu kukushawishi usifanye hivyo, Mwambie kuwa unaelewa kuwa this is hard for her, lakini tayari umeshafanya maamuzi na hakuna wakukubadilisha. Ukishamuelezea kila kitu na kumsikiliza, don't linger around anymore. Ondoka. Mpe space.

Kumbuka break-ups are hard. So ukiachana nae usim-contact, labda huko mbeleni. Hii itamsaidia ku-move on kiurahisi.

 

[fund xaa]

mwambie saizi nipo busy kidogo.

 

[Jimmy George]

Duh jamaa mkatil wew....by the way binafs naamin inategemea na hatua mliyofikia since muanze relation yenu....lakin pia inategemea na aina ya maisha ya mapenz yenu(wapo ambao walijiwek sana waz kwa kila mtu tena hta kwa mbwembwe)...pia inategemea na aina ya mwenza ulienae(yan kwamba kile unachokiskia kuhus mpnz wko ktk maskio yko kinaendana na kile unachokiona machoni ju yke?..) Mf km unaskia wakimsifia ni mzur/mrembo je ukimwangalia wew binafs unaliona hilo au magumashi???..kwamba anajipenda..mstaarabu...mkalimu...mcha mungu n.k lazima uoanishe na uhalisia wake mana wew ukikosea kuevaluate au kujudge hzo qualities bas yawezkn ukajikuta unamuacha kimakosa au kihalali

Sasa ni hv km mpo dini tofaut tumia kigezo hicho kwa utulivu mueleze ila km ata act ht kubadil din duh ilo janga....ila kiukwel hakuna kaz ngumu kam kuutetea uwongo hivo nakushaur muweke waz andaa mazngra tulivu ya kumwambia then utaanza ado ado kusho actions km kujib txt kwa mkato...kuchelew kujib au kupokea simu zake au hta kutopiga evn micd cal zake...km unahakik namb yke kichwan huna bs ukiifuta ni vyema zaid...acha kumfatilia mitandaoni n.k itakusaidia

Nimekuelewa mkuu lakini sababu yenyewe inalazimu kuachana nae tu...

 

[Jimmy George]

Let me stop you right there, hakuna maneno utakayoweza kumwambia mtu kuwa unabreak-up nae na asikwazike/kuumia nafsi.
Kama kuna mtu unabreak up nae halafu asiumie, basi jua kuwa huyo alikuwa hana feelings zozote kwako. Alikuwa nawe kwasababu zake anazozijua yeye, lakini sio kwa mapenzi ya dhati.

So turudi kwenye swali lako, ukiachana na mtu nenda straight to the point, usi-sugar coat kitu chochote, na shikilia maamuzi yako. Anaweza akalia, akakutukana au akafanya kitu chochote kile kujaribu kubadilisha maamuzi yako. Usikubali. We mwambie sababu za wewe kuachana nae, msikilize na yeye atakujibu nini, kama anajaribu kukushawishi usifanye hivyo, Mwambie kuwa unaelewa kuwa this is hard for her, lakini tayari umeshafanya maamuzi na hakuna wakukubadilisha. Ukishamuelezea kila kitu na kumsikiliza, don't linger around anymore. Ondoka. Mpe space.

Kumbuka break-ups are hard. So ukiachana nae mpe space na usimcontact, labda huko mbeleni. Hii itamsaidia ku-move on kiurahisi.

Ni kweli uliyosema mkuu asante kwa ushauri

 

[Joseverest]

Muelezee ukweli tu..kutokana na sababu A B C D... nimeona tuachane...itakuwa ngumu kukuelewa lakini inabidi hivyo..shikilia msimamo wako ila usije kujutia hapo baadae

 

[Nokia83]

Kwani wakat mnaanza mapenzi ulifanyaje?!

 

[konhokibopa]

Telling a lie is a jail of soul....thus I said kuutetea uwongo ni kazi kubwa sana mzee....honest is your freedom mueleze ukwel ila zingatia vitu vya msingi sana ktik maongez hayo c vyema km mnauwezo wa kuonana ukatumia simu just sho kwa sho ni muhim....ukimuacha kwa sabab za uwongo mungu atamlipia huyo mwanamk...choz lao huwa ngumu kupotea bure laana yake itakufata tuu....ila naamin km kuna reason strong mungu atakuongezea mbinu na hata kuirahsisha roho ya shem kukuelewa na kuibairiki safar ya kila mtu kat yenu

 

[Dam55]

Hivi mpaka sasa bado kuna watu wanaachana kwa shinikizo la wazazi?!

Mkuu hakuna neno zuri ila ni kuuma meno tu kiume halafu unamwambia tu kama ulivokuwa jasiri kumwambia kipindi kile kuwa unampenda.

Japo roho itakusuta kwasababu ulishamuahidi kuwa utakuwa nae milele.
Hasa kama hakukukosea.

Inauma sana.
Nafikilia hali ngumu atakayo kuwa nayo huyo dada unaenda kumng'o meno bila ganzi.

 

[Jimmy George]

Muelezee ukweli tu..kutokana na sababu A B C D... nimeona tuachane...itakuwa ngumu kukuelewa lakini inabidi hivyo..shikilia msimamo wako ila usije kujutia hapo baadae

Sawa mkuu nitafanya hivyo...

 

[Jimmy George]

Kwani wakat mnaanza mapenzi ulifanyaje?!

Nilimfuata na kumueleza nampenda akakubali

 

[Allan Greyvensteyn Bomani]

Heeee

 

[Jimmy George]

Telling a lie is a jail of soul....thus I said kuutetea uwongo ni kazi kubwa sana mzee....honest is your freedom mueleze ukwel ila zingatia vitu vya msingi sana ktik maongez hayo c vyema km mnauwezo wa kuonana ukatumia simu just sho kwa sho ni muhim....ukimuacha kwa sabab za uwongo mungu atamlipia huyo mwanamk...choz lao huwa ngumu kupotea bure laana yake itakufata tuu....ila naamin km kuna reason strong mungu atakuongezea mbinu na hata kuirahsisha roho ya shem kukuelewa na kuibairiki safar ya kila mtu kat yenu

Kweli mkuu nathamini sana chozi la mwanamke na ndiyo maana nimekuja kuomba ushauri.
Nitafanyia kazi uliyosema ndugu yangu.

 

[the viking]

make her understand there is no future in your relationship in a very polite and mature manner..dont just wake up one day and call her to let her know the decision you have made or text her prior to setting favourable grounds to this condition...by this i mean,you can decide to take her out somewhere you can both have time to talk...let her know you are breaking up with her for the good of you both..allow her to react and comfort her if necessary while listening to her views on that decision...by that you will have helped instil the aspect of maturity and care...good luck

 

[DiasporaUSA]

If they love you like they should, they'll appreciate what once was and accept the natural process. If not?.

 

[corasco]

Mwambie wewe una matatizo ambayo huwezi kushare nae kwamba humfai basi..simple tu

 

[Papushikashi]

na mimi nipo kwenye mchakato wa kufanya kitu hicho, ushauri nimeuona

 

[Jimmy George]

make her understand there is no future in your relationship in a very polite and mature manner..dont just wake up one day and call her to let her know the decision you have made or text her prior to setting favourable grounds to this condition...by this i mean,you can decide to take her out somewhere you can both have time to talk...let her know you are breaking up with her for the good of you both..allow her to react and comfort her if necessary while listening to her views on that decision...by that you will have helped instil the aspect of maturity and care...good luck

Thanks I will