Mke kagoma kujiita jina la Mumewe, mume afanyeje?

[Fixed Point]

Issue ya kubadili jina au kutobadili jina imekaa kidini zaidi. Kwa wanao fuata imani ya Kiislamu Uislam umekataza kubadilisha jina la baba na kutumia jina lolote jengine kama kutumia jina la mume.

Waiteni kwa baba zao, maana huo ndio uadilifu zaidi mbele ya Mwenyezi Mungu
Al-Ahzaab: 5

Na tabia ya mke kubadilisha jina kutumia jina la mume, mfano kuitwa Mrs Juma, ni tabia zisizolingana na maadili na mafundisho ya Kiislam kabisa!

Kufanya hivyo vile vile kuna madhara yake. Kwanza tabu ya kubadiisha pasipoti na vyeti vinginevyo kwa ajili ya utambulisho katika idara za serikali.

Pili, inapotokea kifo cha mume au talaka, inabidi mke arudie kubadilisha pasipoti na vyeti vyake vyote vingine kuweka jina la baba badala ya jina mume, hivyo ni usumbufu unaompotezea mtu fedha na wakati wake.

Kwa hiyo Muislamu ni bora kubakia katika amri na mafunzo ya dini yake ili kupata ridha ya Mola wake na pia kujiepusha na usumbufu mbali mbali.

Ila kwa wale wanao fuata kanuni za kimila na kikristo na kimagharibi ni jambo lililo zoeleka kwa mke kujiita kwa jina la ukoo wa mume wake.

...akasema, Kwa sababu hiyo, mtu atamwacha babaye na mamaye, ataambatana na mkewe; na hao wawili watakuwa mwili mmoja?
Hata wamekuwa si wawili tena, bali mwili mmoja. Basi aliowaunganisha Mungu, mwanadamu asiwatenganishe.
Matt 19:5-6

X- Paster, (hapo kwenye Red) kumbuka kanuni za kidini za kiislamu zinaruhusu kutaliki na kuolewa as much as you can. sasa kama wangesema kila mwanamke akiolewa abadilishe jina la ukoo naona ingekuwa balaa, maana kila ukiachwa unabidi jambo la kwanza uwaze kubadili jina. Imagine mwanamke anaolewa x5 katika maisha yake, kila akiolewa anababili jina, akiachwa anabadili, si inakuwa usumbufu?

 

[X-PASTER]

X- Paster, (hapo kwenye Red) kumbuka kanuni za kidini za kiislamu zinaruhusu kutaliki na kuolewa as much as you can. sasa kama wangesema kila mwanamke akiolewa abadilishe jina la ukoo naona ingekuwa balaa, maana kila ukiachwa unabidi jambo la kwanza uwaze kubadili jina. Imagine mwanamke anaolewa x5 katika maisha yake, kila akiolewa anababili jina, akiachwa anabadili, si inakuwa usumbufu?

Nimekuelewa ndugu yangu, ila hiyo red unayo sema (Waiteni kwa baba zao, maana huo ndio uadilifu zaidi mbele ya Mwenyezi Mungu...Al-Ahzaab: 5) Inawahusu hata watoto wa kulea pia, maana hao watoto yatima ambao tutawalea tuwaite kwa majina ya baba zao.

Kuhusu suwala la kuoa na kuolewa mara ya pili na tatu na kuendelea hata ukristo haukukataza talaka... Maandiko yasema mtu asimwache mkewe isipokuwa kwa habari ya uasherati. Swali linakuja Je kijana wa miaka 25 aliyemwacha mke mwenye umri wa miaka 20, hawa hawapaswi kuoa na kuolewa tena!?

 

[Noname]

tell me again why do I have to change my name? Isnt it enough I am called his wife or mother of his children... Do I have to lose my identity because I am married... what is the logic behind this concept of changing women names?

 

[Tiba]

Huyo dada hampendi mumewe, ndio wale wale wanaoolewa ili kuondoa nuksi. Kama kweli yuko proud of her marriage why is she not ready to be proud of being called ''Mrs Masaki''?

Jamani mbona kama tunachang'anya mambo? Mimi nafikiri kuna tofauti mwanamke kuitwa jina lake na ubini wa Baba yake kwa upande mmoja, lakini hiyo haizuii mtu anayetaka kumu-address kwa jina la mumewe kumwita Mrs. Masaki ingawaje yeye jina analotumia ni Ester Charambe. Kama mwanamke huyo anakataa hata kuitwa Mrs. Masaki wakati Mume wake ni Mr. Masaki basi hapo kuna tatizo.

Kwa mawazo sioni ubaya wa mwanamke kuendelea kutumia jina lake mwenyewe. Fikiria leo mwanamke anabadilisha vyeti na kwenda mahakamani kuapa kuacha kutumia jina la baba yake na kesho ndoa inavunjika halafu unaolewa na mwanaume mwingine? Are you going to change your name again?

Kuna ukisasa (modernization) kwamba mwanamke anaamua kutumia jina la baba yake na mume kwa wakati mmoja kama ubini wake. Kwa mfano jina lake ni Ester jina la baba ni kileo na ubini wa mume wake ni Tarimo. Basi anaamua kuitwa Ester Kileo-Tarimo. Hii nayo siipendi sana. Kwanini usiamue kutumia jina moja tu kati ya hayo ikaeleweka?

Tiba

 

[Tiba]

tuambie na mali ambazo ni za familia itakuwaje?haya majina kiwanja kina jina la mume na gari lina jina la mke kama amekopa yeye,akaunti ina jina la mume,ngoja uone mume atangulie kufariki au hata mke afariki na wawe na ndugu wakorofi wenye njaa uone watakavyokomaa kuwa gari ni ndugu yetu,au nyumba ni ya ndugu yetu angalieni majina ktk hati na kadi,acheni tu haya mambo yafuatwe mtawanyima mirathi ndugu zenu

Mkuu Jerome,

Solution ya tatizo hilo la ndugu kugombea mali za marehemu kwa mtizamo wangu, si mwanamke kubadili jina na kuitwa kwa jina la mumewe. Solution ni kuhakikisha umeandika wosia na umeuandikisha kwa lawyer au RITA sijui ili ukifa maelekezo yako juu ya mgawanyo wa mali ufuatwe!!!

Bahati mbaya wengi tunaogopa kuandika wosia kwa kuofia kwamba unajichulia mwenyewe matokeo yake kesho ukifumba macho tu ndugu wanasahau kwamba kuhangaika kwako kote ulikuwa unajitahidi kutengeneza future ya watoto na kubeba kila kitu!!!

Tujifunze kuandika wosia kwani hakuna ajuaye wakati au saa atakayoitwa mbele za haki.

Tiba

 

[Akili Kichwani]

tell me again why do I have to change my name? Isnt it enough I am called his wife or mother of his children... Do I have to lose my identity because I am married... what is the logic behind this concept of changing women names?

mai dia noname, i am sorry............ you have some miles to go before you can fully comprehend the meaning of being a wife............... very sory to say that............

 

[Tiba]

Nakuja

FL1,

Mbona unanitisha!!! Neno hilo wengine uwa tulisikia kwenye masuala nyeti!!!! (joke).

Tiba

 

[Noname]

mai dia noname, i am sorry............ you have some miles to go before you can fully comprehend the meaning of being a wife............... very sory to say that............

haha whatever why dont u help me and atleast answer my question... why do I have to change my name again? I am already his wife and its officially oooppps everyone who knows me knows that I am his...

 

[Akili Kichwani]

haha whatever why dont u help me and atleast answer my question... why do I have to change my name again? I am already his wife and its officially oooppps everyone who knows me knows that I am his...

ok.... knowledge alone doesint surfice, feelings matters too......... especially your man must feel you, belive in you and feel ballanced with and by you............ his name crowning your names matters alot my friend........... try it............. yeah, try it one day as a surprise, and you shall see how it works................ there is great deal of psycho-socual factors there........... you may read my earlier post in this thread.......... i tried to explain briefly.....................

but stay cautioned that just like IT, life also has both hardware and softwares.......... yah, waht you see and appreciate is only the hardware......... and the principles sorrounding them........and the software aspect are just uncapable of making any sense to you................

 

[Tshala]

Hahahahaaaaa! mkuu...Mkude!....
Lakini mbona Sauda Kilumanga mtoto wa Idd Simba kachanganya? anatumia la Mumewe na Baba yake...nadhani aliona angetumia la mumewe pekee watuy wasingemjua kuwa ni mtoto wa Idd Simba.

kuepuka shari hata mimi ilinipasa kuchanganya jina la baba likawa middle then la mume wangu. It's better that way maana ni ngumu kubadilisha vitu kama vyeti vya shule etc. Na wanaume wengine hawaelewi hii habari ya kutumia ubini wa wazazi wetu pindi tunapoolewa.

 

[Chief]

Ninachoweza kusema hapa ni kwamba kitendo cha mwanamke kubadili jina lake na kuchukua la mumewe baada ya kuolewa, speaks of something, na kitendo cha kutokufanya hivyo, also speaks of something. Ni kwa mume kuweza ku-interpret message na muhimu, kuishi na hali halisi kama mwanamke hataki kubadili jina.

 

[Tshala]

.......Hili jambo la kubadili jina baada ya kuolewa kwa sisi wadada ni issue kubwa sana siku hizi, wadada wengi hatupendi kubadili majina yetu.........hata mie mwenyewe nilikuwa nakataa kubadili jina langu, maana vyeti vyangu vya shule vyote vipo kwa jina la baba yangu, halafu leo tena nibadili niliona kama haitaleta maana.

Baada ya Mr kulalamika sana kwa nini sibadili jina, niliamua kubadili tu ili nimridhishe.......hivyo natumia majina yangu kama ilivyokuwa yaani jina la ukoo wangu halafu mwishoni ndio naongeza jina la kwake.

Hii kitu haina umuhimu sana, ila kwa kuwa ndoa ni makubaliano ya watu wawili, na kama mwanaume anataka utumie jina lake, mie naona bora tu utumie ili kulinda amani/ masikilizano yenu ya ndoa.......ukitumia jina la mr wako wala hupungukiwi chochote.

Bravo Preety,

Yani kwakweli ni bora sometimes kuwa chini (not in everthing) ili mambo ya ende. Kuna vitu vingine mwaweza argue vikakosesha amani milele..

 

[Mwedi]

Ni jirani zangu na nimeisha wasuluhisha sana lakini kila upande unadai uko sahihi..
Jamaa kaoa mwaka watano huu lakini mkewe ambaye ni mfanyakazi serikalini amekataa kutumia jina la mumewe kama ilivyo zoeleka kwa kina mama wengi wakiolewa. K.m vile Mama maria Nyrere, Magret Sitta,Hilary Clinton, Lwiza Mbutu n.k
Yaani Mrs kang'ang'nia tu kutumia jina la baba yake kitendo ambacho mume kinamuumiza mno! na anaona mkewe anampuuza eti kwa vile hana hadhi kubwa kama baba wa mke.
Jamani hii inakuwaje ni lazima mke abadili jina akiolewa na kujiita jina la mumewe?

Mnapojadili mada nyengine msikimbilie tu kuwalaumu watu,eti MKE KAGOMA KUJIITA JINA LA MUMEWE!!! Tatizo liko wapi je kuna sheria inayolazimisha kufanya hivyo?au ni lazima tu kwa sababu WAZUNGU ndivyo wanavyofanya? Kwa nini tunakua watumwa kiasi hicho?Pia ni lazima mfahamu kua kuna baadhi ya dini ZIMEKATAZA mwamke kutumia jina la mumewe kwa style ya MAMA FULANI,ukimaanisha huyo fulani kua ni Mumewe,sasa inakuaje mwamsakama mtu bila ya kujua anafanya hivyo kwa kigezo gani?Kama huyo mama ni Muislamu yuko sahihi na aendelee na msimamo huo mpaka kifo chake.

Jamani hii ni forum ya Great thinkers,tunapojadili mada tuwe na sababu na hoja za msingi na sio kukurupuka tu kutupiana lawama,otherwise neno GREAT THINKERS mtalitoa maana kabisa.

Naomba Kuwasilisha.

 

[Noname]

ok.... knowledge alone doesint surfice, feelings matters too......... especially your man must feel you, belive in you and feel ballanced with and by you............ his name crowning your names matters alot my friend........... try it............. yeah, try it one day as a surprise, and you shall see how it works................ there is great deal of psycho-socual factors there........... you may read my earlier post in this thread.......... i tried to explain briefly.....................

but stay cautioned that just like IT, life also has both hardware and softwares.......... yah, waht you see and appreciate is only the hardware......... and the principles sorrounding them........and the software aspect are just uncapable of making any sense to you................

so u r telling me I should change my name just to make him happy? its all about his feelings right? so all this name changing is about his EGO and social status..... what about my feelings? it doesnt matter at all to him? see I love my husband soo much but I will not change my name but my children will proudly carry his name. Thanks God I am a muzlim ( I love JESUS CHRIST too) so there is not pressure. I think X-PAT explained very well why muzlims should be named after their father's names.

 

[SMU]

Do I have to lose my identity because I am married...

But whether you change the name or not, marriage will change your identity!

 

[X-PASTER]

Hivi maana ya Mrs & Miss kwa kiswahili ni nini?

 

[Noname]

But whether you change the name or not, marriage will change your identity!

thats ok its better than losing it... isnt it?

 

[Zogwale]

Ndoa nyingi za siku hizi zenye matatizo na zisizodumu kwa muda mrefu zimewakatisha tamaa akina dada/mama wengi. Zamani mawazo yote yalikuwa ni ndoa kudumu milele hadi kifo na hiyo filosofi ilitawala ndoa nyingi sana na zilidumu. Leo hii mtu binti/kijana wa kiume haha hakika kama ndoa yake itadumu maana nyingi zilizomtangulia zimeshasambaratika.

Jambo lingine, akina mama wanakuwa na mali za siri ikiwemo accounts za fedha kwa kuwa hana hakika na inheritance yake pindi mume akifariki, unajua unapoona mama yako au ndugu yako wa kike aliolewa mahali mume akafariki halafu akakosa haki ya urithi then ni kama vile uking'atwa nyoka ukiona jani unashtuka.

Jambo lingine, pengine baada ya kuoana mume alibadilika na mkewe huyo kushtuka mapema!!! Hivyo ana hofu fulani zinazotokana na tabia ya mume wake. Hivyo mleta mada hebu tupe CV kidogo ya huyu jamaa kimaisha na tabia si kielimu na kazi!!! Then from there tutakupa concrete reason ya kutoaasili jina la mume. Hivi mume wako akiwa ni jambazi sugu tena limeshaua au ni bonge la misheni town ambalo kile kesi ya utapeli yuko kizimbani mahakamani, je utataka hata ukipita watu waseme yule ni mke wa fulani? Je sembuse kulitumia jina lake?

 

[Nasolwa]

Ni makubaliano (maridhiano) tu baina ya wawili hayaongozwi na sheria wala amri amasivyo kingeongezewa kwenye kiapo cha ndoa 'Bibi flani bin Flani, uk tayari kubadili jina la baba yako, uliache/kulikana na kutumia la mumeo?' watu wanacomplicate maisha utadhani hawana shughuli za kufanya ah!!

Mnapendana, mnaheshimiana na kuaminiana inatosha!! But if he think it is that necessary basi atake trouble ya kubadilisha (maana ile process ya kubadili hadi vyeti inakera).

Pengine kuna sababu ipo inayomfanya huyo mama akatae kubadilisha jina ambayo haikuwekwa wazi hapa. Hakuna ugumu/ulazima wowote wa kubadilisha jina kwenye vyeti. Mfano kabla ya kuolewa ulikuwa unaitwa miss Maria Roza John mwenye digrii B.A Ecomomics. Ukiprove kwa kuonyesha chet cha ndoa kwamba umeolewa say na bwana Mike kinacho badilika sio jina la kwenye digrii yako bali utaitwa Mrs Maria Roza Mike, B.A Economics basi. Hata hivyo kwa wanaopendana kwa dhati haina tofauti yeyote kubadili au kutobadili, muhimu ni ndoa yenye amani na upendo

 

[Mzizi wa Mbuyu]

Jamani mbona kama tunachang'anya mambo? Mimi nafikiri kuna tofauti mwanamke kuitwa jina lake na ubini wa Baba yake kwa upande mmoja, lakini hiyo haizuii mtu anayetaka kumu-address kwa jina la mumewe kumwita Mrs. Masaki ingawaje yeye jina analotumia ni Ester Charambe. Kama mwanamke huyo anakataa hata kuitwa Mrs. Masaki wakati Mume wake ni Mr. Masaki basi hapo kuna tatizo.

Kwa mawazo sioni ubaya wa mwanamke kuendelea kutumia jina lake mwenyewe. Fikiria leo mwanamke anabadilisha vyeti na kwenda mahakamani kuapa kuacha kutumia jina la baba yake na kesho ndoa inavunjika halafu unaolewa na mwanaume mwingine? Are you going to change your name again?

Kuna ukisasa (modernization) kwamba mwanamke anaamua kutumia jina la baba yake na mume kwa wakati mmoja kama ubini wake. Kwa mfano jina lake ni Ester jina la baba ni kileo na ubini wa mume wake ni Tarimo. Basi anaamua kuitwa Ester Kileo-Tarimo. Hii nayo siipendi sana. Kwanini usiamue kutumia jina moja tu kati ya hayo ikaeleweka?

Tiba

Ukisasa kuliko wa akina Michelle Obama, mke wa Obama?