Dude walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a broken nose. The doctor asks him what happened. "Well," says Dude, "I was having a nice round of golf with my wifee. She sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around, I noticed that one of the cows had something protruding from its rear end. Sure enough, when it lifted its tail, there was my wife's golf ball." "And?" asked the doctor. "Well," Dude said, "that's when I lifted the cow's tail, pointed, and yelled to the mamsap, 'Hey, honey - this one here looks like yours!'"