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Married? - the 80/20 rule!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by SMU, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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    I hope this article will be helpful for some of us:

    In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or woman) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT.

    And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

    But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.

    But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

    Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

    Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'

    Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

    Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.

    You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ...'

    Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

    But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

    Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

    That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

    Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

    But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

    But I'm not just talking about marriage.

    I'm talking about life!

    About your jobs.
    About your friends.
    About your children.
    About your lifestyles.

    Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? 'They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!'

    I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

    The main message???

    If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
  2. Brooklyn

    Brooklyn JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
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    Ooh what a wonderful message!! But its kinda hard to forego the 20% and concerntrate with the 80% coz as you noted, the 20% you get from "nyumba ndogo" inaweza ikakufanya uone 80% ni upuuzi na inakupotezea muda wa kula maisha!
  3. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
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    In most cases the 20% unayoweza kupata kutoka 'nyumba ndogo' ni mambo ya kupita tu. Naamini tukijifunza kuridhika na kuweka nia thabit ya kuridhika tunaweza kabisa kuziepuka nyumba ndogo.
  4. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
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    Muumba akikujalia kuridhika,nakuhakikishia utakuwa na utajiri mkubwa sana.Kuridhika,sina hakika kama mtu anaweza kujifunza ila inawezekana kama ni muumini mzuri wa dini yako.
  5. M

    Maamuma JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
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    Yataka moyo sana ndugu yangu. Dunia ya sasa vishawishi ni vingi. Mitego kila kona. Majaribu kila siku. Mungu atusaidie!
  6. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    Apr 22, 2009
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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    Inawezekana kujifunza. Njia mojawapo ni kujaribu kutizama zaidi kwenye positive attributes za mwenza wako. Kwa mfano, kuna watu wengine ni wagumu kweli kutoa compliment kwa wenza wao anapofanya kitu kizuri lakini haohao ni wepesi kweli ku-critisize, kulaumu kama ikitokea mwenza amekosea. Wengi wetu tunapenda kutizama mabaya tu na hili ni tatizo ambalo linarekebishika kama mtu anayo nia.