Mapenzi! (?)

[Mbu]

...Hakuna utamu maskioni kama siku ya siku mbele ya kaasisi, shekhe, au msajili bomani unapotamka/tamkiwa maneno haya;...

"I take you, _____, to be my husband/wife from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my husband/wife, and these things I promise you:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you;
I will respect, trust, help and care for you;
I will share my life with you;
I will forgive you as we have been forgiven;
And I will try with you better to understand ourselves,
the world, and God;
Through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live."

"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Bride: "I, _________, offer you in myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Qur'an and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon Him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife."

Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."

...iweje siku ya siku unashindwa uvumilivu?, unaporomosha matusi, kejeli, na mangumi kwa huyo huyo laaziz wako kudaiana talaka, kunyang'anyana mali, watoto na hata wengine kuuana?

Mapenzi ni nini, au ni neno linalokuzwa tu bila watu kujua maana yake?

...au ndio kama Brand?, 'tangible product'?, watu wanafuata mkumbo tu (i.e ...'na mimi pia napenda')?...

 

[Gang Chomba]

hakuna mapenzi yasiyo na mikwaruzano
kwa sababu hakuna mwanadamu aliyekamilika
so cha msingi ni kuvumiliana tu na yakizidi basi hayo mengine ni lazma yachukue mkondo wake.

 

[Malila]

MCHONGOMA;
kuna watu wanatamka maneno hayo kwa sababu tu wanataka hifadhi,au mmoja anataka hela za mwenzake,au mmoja ameambiwa bila mke/mme no promotion kazini,au umri umeshapita au anataka ngono au title au suna tu na sababu nyinginezo.

Kwa ufupi wanao maanisha ktk mapenzi ni wachache sana siku hizi.kupishana kupo,hata waliokaa miaka zaidi ya 40 ktk ndoa/mapenzi watakwambia. Ndoa/mapenzi ni taasisi yenye miiko yake na kanuni zake na ni lazima ufuate.

Girlfriend hatendewi kama mke(vice versa),sasa unapotaka kuishi na mke/mme kama girlfriend/boyfriend ndipo mziki unapoanza.

Nimechangia kidogo na wengine wachangie tupate jibu

 

[DMussa]

...Hakuna utamu maskioni kama siku ya siku mbele ya kaasisi, shekhe, au msajili bomani unapotamka/tamkiwa maneno haya;...



...iweje siku ya siku unashindwa uvumilivu?, unaporomosha matusi, kejeli, na mangumi kwa huyo huyo laaziz wako kudaiana talaka, kunyang'anyana mali, watoto na hata wengine kuuana?

Mapenzi ni nini, au ni neno linalokuzwa tu bila watu kujua maana yake?

...au ndio kama Brand?, 'tangible product'?, watu wanafuata mkumbo tu (i.e ...'na mimi pia napenda')?...

Mkuu hapa zaidi nadhani unamaanisha mapenzi ndani ya ndoa?
Katika ndoa kuna mambo mengi sana yanayoweza kusababisha wanandoa/wapenzi kutofautiana na hata kufarakana kabisa. La muhimu na ambalo nimejifunza kutoka kwa wakongwe na wazazi wetu ndoa inahitaji uelewa mkubwa sana na pia busara.

Kama unaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu unaona age mates wako wanaoa/kuolewa then ujue unapotea. Inahitaji moyo na akili zza ziada kufanya tafakari kabla hujaoa/kuolewa. Ndoa nyingi zinaishia kuharibika kwa sababu kila mmoja anaassume yeye ni mjanja na pia anaona bado kuna mambo hayapati katika ndoa hiyo na ndio maana yanatokea haya....

someni hii habari fupi hapa chini ndo mtu utaweza kujua uelewa unaotakiwa ili mtu uishi kwa amani sio kwenye ndoa tu hata katika maisha mengine....

Something to ponder….........

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive, more alluring, more thoughtful, richer, have greater appeal, and you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go all over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect, a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic (gloomy\moody) by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ."
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host. But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have! That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 1000% that represents all the years that you have been with each other; The storms you have weathered together; The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple; The many adjustments you have made to love the other; The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage:
I'm talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message.

If you start appreciating what you have/had right now, wherever you are You are in the first class!

Nawasilisha wakuu...

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

dmussa this is a very useful message to all whether you are married or still in courting relationship.... just be in the first class because they do say that ' you never know what you have until you loose it'
Thanks dmussa

 

[Haika]

dmussa,
asante kwa mchango wako. Ni kweli kabisa, ndio sababu tamaa ilimshinda fisi.

 

[NaimaOmari]

dont you know kwamba tunalazimishwa to say those words ... uniform to all married couples ...tangia enzi na enzi .... wangetuachia kila mmoja akawa na kiapo chake ... pangekuwa patamu hapo ... i swear ningefuatilia kila harusi .... tena batangulia mimi front kabisa nyuma ya shekhe au front bench kanisani kusikia hizo vows

 

[Mbu]

...Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

dmussa, maneno mazito sana hayo mkuu uliyoyaleta, uzidishiwe!!!

 

[Kungurumweupe]

dont you know kwamba tunalazimishwa to say those words ... uniform to all married couples ...tangia enzi na enzi .... wangetuachia kila mmoja akawa na kiapo chake ... pangekuwa patamu hapo ... i swear ningefuatilia kila harusi .... tena batangulia mimi front kabisa nyuma ya shekhe au front bench kanisani kusikia hizo vows

Kweli kabisa wangetuacha kila mtu aseme maneno atakayo. Pangekuwa patamu... kwani ninauhakika wanawake wangesema hawakotayari kuendelea na mahusiano ya ndoa wakati wa family financial calamity!

 

[Mbu]

Kweli kabisa wangetuacha kila mtu aseme maneno atakayo. Pangekuwa patamu... kwani ninauhakika wanawake wangesema hawakotayari kuendelea na mahusiano ya ndoa wakati wa family financial calamity!

...dah, naona wengi mna advocate mikataba tofauti na hivyo viapo vya asili. au ndio sababu ya ndoa nyingi kuvunjika siku hizi, maana vile viapo vya asili havitekelezeki kwa mfumo wa maisha ya siku hizi.

imagine; "...until death do us apart we marry for better but NOT for worse!, ...NO WAY, and i insist, Big NO!"

Hivi mmegundua baina ya wanawake na wanaume, ni kina nani kwa asilimia kubwa sasa wanakosa uvumilivu zaidi ndani ya nyumba?

we acha tu!

 

[Shishi]

Mkuu hapa zaidi nadhani unamaanisha mapenzi ndani ya ndoa?
Katika ndoa kuna mambo mengi sana yanayoweza kusababisha wanandoa/wapenzi kutofautiana na hata kufarakana kabisa. La muhimu na ambalo nimejifunza kutoka kwa wakongwe na wazazi wetu ndoa inahitaji uelewa mkubwa sana na pia busara.

Kama unaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu unaona age mates wako wanaoa/kuolewa then ujue unapotea. Inahitaji moyo na akili zza ziada kufanya tafakari kabla hujaoa/kuolewa. Ndoa nyingi zinaishia kuharibika kwa sababu kila mmoja anaassume yeye ni mjanja na pia anaona bado kuna mambo hayapati katika ndoa hiyo na ndio maana yanatokea haya....

someni hii habari fupi hapa chini ndo mtu utaweza kujua uelewa unaotakiwa ili mtu uishi kwa amani sio kwenye ndoa tu hata katika maisha mengine....


Nawasilisha wakuu...

Aisee safi sana..... hiyo story ya first class, jamani ukiwaona wamenyoosha miguuu..... nyie mwafifinyana tu huko coach class.....

if you keep comparing yourself with other pple u will be miserable kabisa,...... we actually forget that we are better off than a million other pple.......

 

[NaimaOmari]

Kweli kabisa wangetuacha kila mtu aseme maneno atakayo. Pangekuwa patamu... kwani ninauhakika wanawake wangesema hawakotayari kuendelea na mahusiano ya ndoa wakati wa family financial calamity!

Go away man!!! .... ni nyumba ndogo tu ndizo tusizovumilia lakini shida ... tena tunavumilia kweli kweli ... maana unakuta mwanaume anakuachia hela kidogo tu ya matumizi ilhali anajua vyema kwamba familia yake yote inategemea kila kitu hapo hapo ...

hakika wanawake tuna moyo hasa .. tupeni pongezi wanaume wote humu JF

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

...dah, naona wengi mna advocate mikataba tofauti na hivyo viapo vya asili. au ndio sababu ya ndoa nyingi kuvunjika siku hizi, maana vile viapo vya asili havitekelezeki kwa mfumo wa maisha ya siku hizi.

imagine; "...until death do us apart we marry for better but NOT for worse!, ...NO WAY, and i insist, Big NO!"

Hivi mmegundua baina ya wanawake na wanaume, ni kina nani kwa asilimia kubwa sasa wanakosa uvumilivu zaidi ndani ya nyumba?

we acha tu!

mchongoma unazungumzia uvumilivu wa kitu gani?..... Kama ni uvumilivu wa maudhi ya kwenye ndoa basi tujiulize nani is more likely kufanya makosa na maudhi ndani ya ndoa so as to be able to judge nani ni mvumilivu.

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Go away man!!! .... ni nyumba ndogo tu ndizo tusizovumilia lakini shida ... tena tunavumilia kweli kweli ... maana unakuta mwanaume anakuachia hela kidogo tu ya matumizi ilhali anajua vyema kwamba familia yake yote inategemea kila kitu hapo hapo ...

hakika wanawake tuna moyo hasa .. tupeni pongezi wanaume wote humu JF

You said it all da naima.

 

[Maindainda]

Mchongoma,

Mimi nadhani nashangaa kama wewe ila si sana.
Kuna nguvu kubwa sana inayompeleka mtu altareni, na nadhani maharusi wanapogeuka kutoka kwa padri anayefungisha ndoa kurudi nyumbani nguvu hiyo hupungua taratibu hadi kufa kabisa kama hakuna uangalifu na tahadhari kuchukuliwa. Hiyo nguvu ni upendo. Ikiisha hapo ndipo mtu anaanza kumuona mke/mume kama colleague wa ofisini na anapata ujasiri wa kumtusi na kutokumvumilia kama awali. Ndio wengine hata huuana kwasababu upendo hamna tena.

Wanandoa wengi hujisahau. Wangapi wenu hamkumbuki ni lini mmewapa full attention wake/waume zenu kwa at least saa moja ktk kipindi cha mwezi mmoja uliopita? Hapa simaanishi kwenda party/bar pamoja, au kazini. Namaanisha kumwangalia mwenzio machoni, kumsikiliza bila interruption yoyote na kumpa maneno matamu!

Ndoa ni gharama na watu wengi hawapendi kuilipa hiyo gharama. Ndio watu wanaishia nyumba ndogo, maofisini, kulewa maana nyumbani si mahali pazuri tena, ile nguvu iliyowapeleka altare imekufa, imekwisha.

Hakuna mwanadamu asiyependa kupendwa, na pia ni wachache ambao hawa respond unapowapenda kwa dhati. Ila penda unapopendeka, mapenzi ya upande mmoja yanachosha na jamii yetu imekuza kuwapenda sana wanaume na kuwaenzi bila kuwaambia wao wawapende na kuwajali wake zao, na ndio maana kitchen party haziishi.

 

[DMussa]

Mchongoma,

Mimi nadhani nashangaa kama wewe ila si sana.
Kuna nguvu kubwa sana inayompeleka mtu altareni, na nadhani maharusi wanapogeuka kutoka kwa padri anayefungisha ndoa kurudi nyumbani nguvu hiyo hupungua taratibu hadi kufa kabisa kama hakuna uangalifu na tahadhari kuchukuliwa. Hiyo nguvu ni upendo. Ikiisha hapo ndipo mtu anaanza kumuona mke/mume kama colleague wa ofisini na anapata ujasiri wa kumtusi na kutokumvumilia kama awali. Ndio wengine hata huuana kwasababu upendo hamna tena.

Wanandoa wengi hujisahau. Wangapi wenu hamkumbuki ni lini mmewapa full attention wake/waume zenu kwa at least saa moja ktk kipindi cha mwezi mmoja uliopita? Hapa simaanishi kwenda party/bar pamoja, au kazini. Namaanisha kumwangalia mwenzio machoni, kumsikiliza bila interruption yoyote na kumpa maneno matamu!

Ndoa ni gharama na watu wengi hawapendi kuilipa hiyo gharama. Ndio watu wanaishia nyumba ndogo, maofisini, kulewa maana nyumbani si mahali pazuri tena, ile nguvu iliyowapeleka altare imekufa, imekwisha.

Hakuna mwanadamu asiyependa kupendwa, na pia ni wachache ambao hawa respond unapowapenda kwa dhati. Ila penda unapopendeka, mapenzi ya upande mmoja yanachosha na jamii yetu imekuza kuwapenda sana wanaume na kuwaenzi bila kuwaambia wao wawapende na kuwajali wake zao, na ndio maana kitchen party haziishi.

Maindainda,
Point noted.....
bado wengi wetu tunaoa/kuolewa kwa sababu tunafikiri kuwa kwenye ndoa tunabadilisha status!! Pete kuuubwaa kwenye kidole inatufanya tudhanie kila mtu anaetuona atatupa heshima kwa sababu tumeoa/kuolewa. This is not the case!! Ile nguvu inayompleka mtu altareni/msikitini/kwa mkuu wa wilaya inastahili kuwa nguvu ya kweli!!! Mke/Mume mwema anatoka kwa Mungu lakini na sisi pia tunachangia sana kupata wake/waume wasio wema kwa sababu ya tamaa zetu.

 

[Mbu]

Go away man!!! .... ni nyumba ndogo tu ndizo tusizovumilia lakini shida ... tena tunavumilia kweli kweli ... maana unakuta mwanaume anakuachia hela kidogo tu ya matumizi ilhali anajua vyema kwamba familia yake yote inategemea kila kitu hapo hapo ...

hakika wanawake tuna moyo hasa .. tupeni pongezi wanaume wote humu JF

...dada'ngu hivi hao wanaume wa hivyo mnawapata wapi, ulipendana nae kabla ya kuoana au ndio mambo ya kutafutiwa mchumba?

haijalishi mtu wa namna hiyo kuwa ni yule yule uliyekula nae kiapo, "tunaoana kwa heri, tutaishi kwa heri,... kuhurumiana, kuheshimiana..."

...au nawe umechangia katika mmomonyoka wa ndoa hiyo dada'ngu jamani?

 

[NaimaOmari]

...dada'ngu hivi hao wanaume wa hivyo mnawapata wapi, ulipendana nae kabla ya kuoana au ndio mambo ya kutafutiwa mchumba?

haijalishi mtu wa namna hiyo kuwa ni yule yule uliyekula nae kiapo, "tunaoana kwa heri, tutaishi kwa heri,... kuhurumiana, kuheshimiana..."

...au nawe umechangia katika mmomonyoka wa ndoa hiyo dada'ngu jamani?

Mchongoma ... wanaume wenye shida au wenye kupenda nyumba ndogo??? ... viapo ni vile vile mwenzangu ... kibaya zaidi huwezi kujua yaliyo moyoni mwa mwenzako huenda anahapa toka mdomoni na si moyoni

Wanaume wengi siku hizi wanavitabia vya ajabu .. ajabu .. kila kona wanawake wanalalama....

Mimi nafanya yaliyo ndani ya uwezo wangu nikishindwa sibebi mzigo miye.. na ubwaga puuuuu ... na talaka itanikuta mbele ya safari

 

[Triplets]

hivi viapo vya kuapa kama kasuku navyo vina walakini, kwa kweli itakuwa ni jambo la maana sana kwa wale ambao bado hawajaingia kwenye ndoa kupewa hicho kiapo mapema na kukisoma, kukitafakari, kujadiliana, kuchanganua kwa undani yaliyopo kwenye kiapo hicho miezi kabla ya siku ya harusi, ili wanapotoa hizo ahadi mbele ya Mungu na kadamnasi angalau wawe wanamaanisha wanachoongea yaani kutoka moyoni

na wenye ndoa nao wavipitie hivi viapo tena mara kwa mara na kwa pamoja ili kujikumbusha yaliyoandikwa humo kwa sababu ni maneno mazito sana, ukiyatafakari kabla ya ndoa unaweza hata kuahirisha harusi kama kweli uko serious na maisha

oohh...naapa kuishi nae kwenye shida na raha, ugonjwa na uzima...halafu baadae tuna ondoka eti mume/mke wangu ana kichaa... kwani kichaa sio ugonjwa?

 

[VURU]

dmussa, maneno mazito sana hayo mkuu uliyoyaleta, uzidishiwe!!!

MCHONGOMA hayo ni maneno umetoa.shukuru ulichonacho na kama jamani kuna matatizo ndani ya ndoa watu tuongee na partners wetu na kufindishana tunapendelea nini