Bujibuji Simba Nyamaume
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 4, 2009
- 74,833
- 155,780
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
*****************************
Dear Wife,
Im writing you this letter to tell you that Im
leaving you forever. Ive been a good man to you
for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These
last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to
tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home & didnt
even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your
favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You dont tell
me you love me anymore; you dont want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either youre cheating on me or you dont love me
anymore; whatever the case, Im gone.
Your Ex-Husband
P.S. dont try to find me. Your SISTER & I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a
great life!
*****************
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. Its true you & I have been married for
7 years, although a good man is a far cry from
what youve been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining &
griping Too bad that doesnt work. I DID notice
when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st
thing that came to mind was You look just like a
girl! Since my mother raised me not to say
anything if you cant say something nice, I didnt
comment. And when you cooked my favourite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that
morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we
could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10
million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you
wont get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
*****************************
Dear Wife,
Im writing you this letter to tell you that Im
leaving you forever. Ive been a good man to you
for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These
last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to
tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home & didnt
even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your
favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You dont tell
me you love me anymore; you dont want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either youre cheating on me or you dont love me
anymore; whatever the case, Im gone.
Your Ex-Husband
P.S. dont try to find me. Your SISTER & I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a
great life!
*****************
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. Its true you & I have been married for
7 years, although a good man is a far cry from
what youve been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining &
griping Too bad that doesnt work. I DID notice
when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st
thing that came to mind was You look just like a
girl! Since my mother raised me not to say
anything if you cant say something nice, I didnt
comment. And when you cooked my favourite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that
morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we
could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10
million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you
wont get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!