Vawulence
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 4, 2009
- 1,931
- 2,114
This is a story about a
couple who had been
happily married for
years. The only friction in
their marriage was the
husband's habit of farting loudly every morning
when he awoke. The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air. Every morning she would
plead with him to stop
ripping them off because
it was making her sick. He
told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
see a
doctor. She was concerned
that one day he would
blow his guts out. The years went by and he
continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving
morning as she was
preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she
looked at the bowl where
she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard,
liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and
went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back
the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his
shorts. Some time later she heard
her husband waken with
his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a
blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into
the bathroom. The wife could hardly
control herself as she
rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her
eyes! After years of
torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good. About twenty minutes
later, her husband came
downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants
with a look of horror on
his face. She bit her lip as she
asked him what was the
matter. He said, "Honey,
you were right. All these
years you have warned
me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?"
asked his wife. "Well, you always told me
that one day I would end
up farting my guts out,
and today it finally
happened. But by the
grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two
fingers, I think I got most
of them back in.
couple who had been
happily married for
years. The only friction in
their marriage was the
husband's habit of farting loudly every morning
when he awoke. The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air. Every morning she would
plead with him to stop
ripping them off because
it was making her sick. He
told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
see a
doctor. She was concerned
that one day he would
blow his guts out. The years went by and he
continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving
morning as she was
preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she
looked at the bowl where
she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard,
liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and
went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back
the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his
shorts. Some time later she heard
her husband waken with
his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a
blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into
the bathroom. The wife could hardly
control herself as she
rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her
eyes! After years of
torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good. About twenty minutes
later, her husband came
downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants
with a look of horror on
his face. She bit her lip as she
asked him what was the
matter. He said, "Honey,
you were right. All these
years you have warned
me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?"
asked his wife. "Well, you always told me
that one day I would end
up farting my guts out,
and today it finally
happened. But by the
grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two
fingers, I think I got most
of them back in.