- Jun 25, 2007
Let's talk ‘bout DATING & MARRIAGE: Speed Vs Traditional Dating -Technique & Acceptance
The world is changing at alarming pace, economically, climatically and socially to name but few. Tanzania and Africa as a whole are part if not victims of this synonymous movement, globalisation. Like it or not we've to get engaged. But question arises, where, on what and how?... Good questions, since globalisation is rather a holistic theory terminology; therefore I'll regress.
I want us to discuss the concepts in dating and marriage. As intrinsic things, dating and marriage are entwined in our cultural fabrics, i.e. one usually has to follow techniques and principles best known to his or her culture. For instance, if I happened to be Mkinga, traditionally I'll have to undergo through customs best known to Wakinga in order to date someone and thereafter get married to (well, theoretically). And if you are Mshashi, similarly, you have to follow your close traditions. And the case I believe is the same for many other communities.
The question of love is too personal to many, yet a mundane societal affair and its products (positive and negative alike) have enormous impact to the community around.
Since we agree this is part of our lives, then talking about it is also ideal and luckily we have JF to provide us with the right platform.
It is interesting to see or try to understand the perceptions of people on issues related to dating and marriage. Because of many changes around us, communities seem confused telling what is wrong or what is right in these matters. They are confused as to what to do when family values become the subject of encroaching metropolitan-urbanised cultures, of which, to many are subjects of perverted culture. The infusion of technology in our surroundings is kick-starting the ‘new versus old' debates. Inescapably, dating and marriage as a component of society is a great victim of new cultures.
Now, we can't let it go unnoticed; let's talk about it. Those lucky enough to live in westernized countries are well aware of dating agencies, both multicultural and those catering for specific segments of the community. As an icebreaker question, what do you think of them?....It is at this juncture my first argument about globalisation thence evoked. Are we going to shun away those embracing these new modalities in mating or are we going to accept them as part of us and facilitate their course?
Personally, I fundamentally believe that, speed dating, as long as is done purposely for meeting someone that you can end up getting married to is acceptable and a way forward, be it online at JF, Michuzi blog or some dating agency office in downtown Dar or indeed her suburbs. The reason being, under the current circumstances even in the traditional way (whatever that may be), things to do with dating and marriage are neither guaranteed.
I believe so due to changes in our life patterns. We are hardly meeting one another, and if chances to meet in person become available, time becomes a hindrance due to many commitments that we seem to have instantly acquired. Not only that, but our interests and hobbies are also varying dramatically because of the dynamic environment. To know a person the traditional way is becoming a monstrous task. These coupled with technological advancement, speed dating, especially online could be the norm, well, soon or later that is. Having said that, one thing I'm certainly sure of - ‘people hate change' myself included, but through discussion I believe things are more bearable.
JF Disclaimer: I'm not a speed dating agent nor a marriage counsellor, msije niporomoshea maswali na maombi nisiyoweza kuyakimu wala kuyamudu . These are just my personal views; there is no empirical study to it………. I however welcome all your views. Thank you.