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Laughter series: Words of Wisdom

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kwetunikwetu, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    Apr 27, 2009
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    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

    It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

    No one is listening until you make a mistake.

    Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

    Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

    If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

    If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

    If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

    You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

    Who gossips to you will gossip of you.

    When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?" - it's always a negative one.

    The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

    The trouble with work is - it's so daily.

    The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

    Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
  2. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    May 4, 2009
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    1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
    2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
    3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
    4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
    6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
    7. Plagiarism saves time.
    8. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
    9. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
    10. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
    11. We waste time, so you don't have to.
    12. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
    13. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
    14. Succeed in spite of management.
    15. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
  3. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    May 11, 2009
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    If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

    He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest

    He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit

    I Haven't Lost My Mind - It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
  4. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    May 22, 2009
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    [FONT=&quot]If he [/FONT][FONT=&quot]calls[/FONT][FONT=&quot] you and your phone is [/FONT][FONT=&quot]off[/FONT][FONT=&quot], he thinks you're [/FONT][FONT=&quot]cheating….[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]then he sends a sms saying [/FONT][FONT=&quot]"don't tell me the battery story coz I know that line"[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​
    [FONT=&quot]If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are TOO IN LOVE, moving too fast;
    If you DON'T, he says you are PROUD .

    If you DRESS NICELY, he says you are trying to LURE other men;
    If you DON'T, he says you are RURAL.

    If you ARGUE with him, he says you are STUBBORN, too manly;
    If you keep QUIET, he says you have no BRAINS, a walkover

    If you are SMARTER than him, you're a SHOW-OFF;
    If he's SMARTER than you, he is GREAT.

    If you don't LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS u;
    If you LOVE him, He takes you FOR GRANTED. (very true huh?)

    If you don't MAKE LOVE to him, he says you DON'T LOVE him;
    If you DO, he says you are CHEAP.

    If you tell him your PROBLEMS, he says you are TROUBLE;
    If you DON'T, he says you don't TRUST him.

    If you SCOLD at him, you are treating him like a CHILD;
    If he SCOLDS at you, it's because he CARES for u.

    If you BREAK your promise, you cannot be TRUSTED;
    If he BREAKS his, it is circumstances beyond his CONTROL.

    If you SMOKE, you are BAD girl;
    If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

    If you do WELL in your career, it's LUCK ;
    If he does WELL, it's definitely BRAINS.

    If you HURT him, you are CRUEL;
    If he HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE !!


    If you send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......

    but if you don't, they say you are selfish.....
    The moral of the story is.......

    Send it to girls also,
    make them feel good, coz its very true
  5. Jaden

    Jaden Member

    Jul 25, 2009
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    I love that topic of men!its real true!i have been reading it with my boyfriend he also chose his own behaviours!
  6. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    Aug 2, 2009
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    Yap yap yap ebana eeeh..!