Kwahiyo unataka kuoa single mama?

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Basi fahamu haya:

Mwanamke aliyezaa huhamishia mapenzi kwa mwanaye. Hali huwa hivyo hata ndani ya ndoa, kiasi kwamba ndoa nyingi hupoteza mvuto pale tu mtoto anapozaliwa. Kwako wewe kijana unayetaka kujitwika mabomu uoe single mother.

Mwanamke anatakiwa aolewe katika ubikira wake ili mwanamume kujisikia kwamba kweli amepata mtu mwaminifu. Lakini kama hata hilo halikutosha kukushawishi, usithubutu kuoa mwanamke ambaye ni single mama, labda kama una uvumilivu usiopimika. Yako mambo kadhaa ambayo yanamfanya single mama asiwe sehemu ya mtarajiwa wa ndoa.

1. Single mama wengi ni matokeo ya uzinzi ama uasherati. Binti anapojiingiza kwenye mapenzi kabla ya ndoa kwa kigezo cha kutafuta kuolewa ni dalili mbaya hata kama ataolewa kweli. Hii inaonyesha kuwa ana udhaifu kwenye eneo la ndoa kiasi kwamba yuko tayari kuutumia mwili wake kama rushwa ili kufanikisha ndoa. Hii haitofautiani na mwanamke aliye ndani ama nje ya ndoa kutumia tigo yake kama kishawishi cha kumshika mwanamume. Unapotumia ngono kama sehemu ya ushawishi, ama kama silaha ya kumteka mwanamume ujue kwamba unaondoa thamani yako na kuingia kwenye kundi la makahaba. Ni kweli uchi wa mwanamke ndio silaha yake kwenye mahusiano, lakini si kwa kuigawa hovyo, bali kwa kuwanyima wanaoitamani ili apatikane mwenye nia thabiti ya ndoa.

Inapotokea binti kajiingiza kwenye mapenzi mpaka kupata mimba, tayari keshapata muunganiko mwingine na mwanamume aliyempa mimba hiyo, tayari wameunganishwa na mtoto huyo, ingawa bado mwanamume aliona huyu mwanamke hafai kuwa mke, alikiwa anamtumia tu kukidhi kiu yake mpaka pale atakapompata mtu sahihi. Sasa wewe ni nani hata ukajiingize kuoa mwanamke wa aina hii?

2. Single mama hawezi kukupenda kwa jinsi ulivyo, bali kutakuwa na sharti la mtoto. Kwamba iwapo utamtunza mtoto kama single mama atakavyo basi utapewa mapenzi matamu. Ni ukweli usiopingika kuwa mwanamke apatapo mtoto mapenzi yote huhamia huko, hivyo wewe jiandae kuwa chaguo la pili kwake. Haya sio mapenzi na ujue tu kuwa huwezi kuwa na amani kamwe.

3. Mtoto si wako. Hata kama utampenda na kumhudumia kwa namna yoyote ile, ukweli utabaki kuwa huyo si mwanao, sio damu yako. Ni kwamba umejitwika jukumu la kumhudumia mtoto wa mwanaume mwenzako ambaye ndiye ataendelea kutambulika kama baba mzazi. Siku akikua ataanza kumtafuta aliyechangia mbegu mpaka akaja dunuani, sio aliyechangia ugali. Ikitokea mmeachana na single mama, ujue ndio mwisho wa kuonana na mwanao mpenzi uliyekuwa ukimtunza kwa nguvu zako zote.

4. Utatumia nguvu kubwa kulilinda penzi. Ili ujihakikishie kuwa single mama anatulizana na wewe, utahitaji kuishi maisha ya kumfurahisha yeye, kumpa atakacho ili asije akamkumbuka mume wake wa kwanza. Namna pekee ya kumfurahisha ni kuhakikisha mtoto wa mwanamume mwenzako anapata maatunzo mazuri, nguo nzuri, elimu nzuri n.k. Utalazimika kuwa karibu naye kuliko hata baba mzazi anavyokuwa, yote haya ni kutafuta kumfurahisha single mama. Utaishi maisha ya kujipendekeza, yenye stress nyingi.

5. Huna sauti juu ya mtoto. Hata kama utataka umchujue mtoto huyu kuwa mwanao kamili, umpe malezi halisi ya mzazi, kuna mahali utakwama tu. Huwezi kumwadabisha kwa mikono miwili, lazima mmoja utakuwa nyuma na mwingine utakuwa mbele. Mara zote utakaa ukijiuliza, labda nikimfanya hivi mama yake atadhani namchukia, jamii nayo itanifikiria vingine. Utajikuta wewe mwenyewe unajiwekea mipaka hata kabla pilato hajakuhukumu kwa kuvuka mstari!! Pigo kubwa zaidi ni pale single mama atakapokutamkia kuwa unamtendea hivyo kwa sababu mtoto sio wako. Hapo utabaki kama mjinga fulani aliyepigwa bumbuwazi asijue aukabili vipi ukweli huu mchungu.

6. Chanzo cha vurugu kwenye familia. Hata ikitokea mmezaa watoto wengine, bado mapenzi hayawezi kuwa sawa. Single mama wana kawaida ya kuwaandalia mazingira watoto wa baba wengine tofauti hao wa baba waliye naye wakati huo. Hufanya hivyo kwa hofu kuwa watoto hawa mara nyingi hawana urrithi kwa baba aliyewalea. Hii huleta mgawanyiko mkubwa kwenye familia kiasi cha watoto wenyewe kuchukiana. Hata ndugu wa mwanamume hawawezi kamwe kumhesabu mtoto huyu kama sehemu ya familia kwa sabubu sio damu yao na anao ukoo mwingine kabisa. Hawezi kujitambulisha kwa jina la baba wa kambo kwa sabubu hana muunganiko wowote naye. Hata ikitokea baba mlezi amekufa, ukoo wake hauwezi kumhesabu mtoto huyu kama sehemu ya urithi. Tunajifunza kwa wanyama wengine pia kama simba, ambapo anapoinuka dume mwingine kuongoza majike, huua watoto wote àliowakuta kisha huanza upya kusaka watoto wake. Sasa sisi hatuwezi kuua, bali tunaweza kuepuka taabu hii kwa kutokuoa mwanamke mwenye watoto.

7. Mume wa kwanza ana nafasi ya kuendelea kumtafuna single mama atakavyo. Kwa kawaida mwanamke akishazaa na mwanamume, ule muunganiko huwa haufi. Tayari ni mzazi mwenza na hana cha khmficha tena, hivyo kupasha kiporo ni jambo la kawaida tu. Pia mama atataka mtoto amjue baba yake halisi kwa ajili ya siku zijazo, hivyo hawezi kujiweka mbali na mzazi mwenzake. Sasa mzazi mwenza ni juu yake kuamua kuendelea kumla ama la, kwani hakuna kutongozana tena, ni kupanga miadi tu na kukutana kuserebuka. Kidume wewe utageuzwa baba mlishi huku haki nyingine zote zikielekezwa kwa mwenye mwanaye.

Ukweli ni kuwa single mama anapopata mume, focus yake sio ndoa bali ni malezi ya mwanaye. Anataka uhakika tu kuwa mwanae ataishi na atapata matunzo bora ili siku za usoni aje kumsaidia yeye.

Ewe kijana, usijiingize kwenye mtego utakaoharibu maisha yako. Tafuta bikira atakayefunga kiapo nawe, achana na wanawake waliozaa hovyo kwa kukosa mwelekeo.

Hapa sijazungumza juu ya walioolewa kisha waume zao kufariki, kwani kwao hawa yako mambo mengi pia nyuma ya pazia ya kuchunguza.
 

Tuttyfruity

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Tuttyfruity

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Dada zangu nisikilizeni. Swala la kumzalia mwanaume hajakuoa life. Pata mimba toa ibaki siri yako moyoni.Yani ua kizazi chake Mpaka siku atakuoa na kukufanya mke. Hawa wanaume ni wa###nzi sana. Kwanini umzalie mtu atakuacha, kukutukana, utaharibu mwili wako na ku dissapoint wazazi wak na kujipa majukumu ya kulea kitoto cha mtu maisha yako yote.No ndoa no watoto. Piga game tumia usichana wako unavyotaka.
 

Rebeca 83

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Rebeca 83

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Ok, tuseme basi suala la uzazi halihitaji kuwa jinsia mbili, hata mwanamke peke yake aweza kujenga familia. Basi hhakuna haja ya malalamiko ya single mothers kutelekezwa, it is natural. Single mothers mmeshinda, zaeni for as much as you wish
naona umepindisha hoja yangu makusudi,ni hivi.. single mazas wataendelea kuwepo..whether wanapata support ama kutelekezwa..hiki kitu is bound to happen..sasa wewe kazana kutoa mshipa wa shingo kudhani utasaidia lolote usingle mother usitokee..soo naïve.
 

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Single mother anapaswa kuolewa na single father au Mgane au mwanaume wa makamo au mzee. Kamwe kijana usijaribu kuchukua single mother, utakuwa unabahatisha mnoo, na huenda ukateseka sana.

Single mother hawana shida, shida ni vijana wanaokimbilia kuwaoa single mother wakati vigezo na masharti hawawezi kuvizingatia.
Jibu hili liwafikie single mothers wote na watetezi wao. Kuolewa sawa lakini vigezo na masharti vizingatiwe. Nje ya vigezo hivi ni kwamba mwanaume ameamua kujisulubu mwenyewe, yatakayompata shauri yake, asiseme hakuonywa.
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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naona umepindisha hoja yangu makusudi,ni hivi.. single mazas wataendelea kuwepo..whether wanapata support ama kutelekezwa..hiki kitu is bound to happen..sasa wewe kazana kutoa mshipa wa shingo kudhani utasaidia lolote usingle mother usitokee..soo naïve.
Mkuu, tunaposema jamii iepuke uzinzi na uasherati ni kuwakumbusha tu kwani wapo wenye akili njema (wasioharibika akili bado) wanaweza kunufaika na ushauri huo. Sasa kama wewe umeona hoja hizi ni za kuudhi kwako basi, ujue mada hii si kwa ajili yako. Hata imani za kidini zinapohubiriwa si wote wanaokubaliana na mwelekeo wake. Ila tu si busara hata kidogo kudai eti nikomaze mshipa kwamba siwezi kusaidia lolote, wapo wengi tu walionishukuru PM, tena wanawake, hao nawaita wanaojitambua. Nikutakie sex revolution njema, ila daima kumbuka ndege mjanja hunaswa na tundu bovu.
 

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Rebeca 83

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Mkuu, tunaposema jamii iepuke uzinzi na uasherati ni kuwakumbusha tu kwani wapo wenye akili njema (wasioharibika akili bado) wanaweza kunufaika na ushauri huo. Sasa kama wewe umeona hoja hizi ni za kuudhi kwako basi, ujue mada hii si kwa ajili yako. Hata imani za kidini zinapohubiriwa si wote wanaokubaliana na mwelekeo wake. Ila tu si busara hata kidogo kudai eti nikomaze mshipa kwamba siwezi kusaidia lolote, wapo wengi tu walionishukuru PM, tena wanawake, hao nawaita wanaojitambua. Nikutakie sex revolution njema, ila daima kumbuka ndege mjanja hunaswa na tundu bovu.
uasherati na uzinzi ni jukumu la wote wanawake na waume,ungekataza both wanaume na wanawake ili masingle mazas wasitokee ningekuelewa..ila wewe umekazana jisome tena the whole topic ni wanawake as if hizo mimba wanajitunga wenyewe..mbaya Zaidi nimekuona pale juu umempa 'like' mtu aliyesema wanawake tufanye 'abortion' ili tusiwe single mazas...yaani nimeshangaa huku unahubiri usafi..ubikira mpaka ndoani huku una advocate uuaji...huna usafi wowote!.

.hao wanaokufuta PM kwa ajili ya huu 'ushauri' wana matatizo nao..message yangu kwako na kwao..mambo hayako that strict..anzeni kuona mambo with open eyes...

nilikosea pale juu sio revolutionary ni evolutionary..ukipata muda pitia mwenyewe ..it is fascinating...
 

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Karma

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uasherati na uzinzi ni jukumu la wote wanawake na waume,ungekataza both wanaume na wanawake ili masingle mazas wasitokee ningekuelewa..ila wewe umekazana jisome tena the whole topic ni wanawake as if hizo mimba wanajitunga wenyewe..mbaya Zaidi nimekuona pale juu umempa 'like' mtu aliyesema wanawake tufanye 'abortion' ili tusiwe single mazas...yaani nimeshangaa huku unahubiri usafi..ubikira mpaka ndoani huku una advocate uuaji...huna usafi wowote!.

.hao wanaokufuta PM kwa ajili ya huu 'ushauri' wana matatizo nao..message yangu kwako na kwao..mambo hayako that strict..anzeni kuona mambo with open eyes...

nilikosea pale juu sio revolutionary ni evolutionary..ukipata muda pitia mwenyewe ..it is fascinating...
Asante
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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uasherati na uzinzi ni jukumu la wote wanawake na waume,ungekataza both wanaume na wanawake ili masingle mazas wasitokee ningekuelewa..ila wewe umekazana jisome tena the whole topic ni wanawake as if hizo mimba wanajitunga wenyewe..mbaya Zaidi nimekuona pale juu umempa 'like' mtu aliyesema wanawake tufanye 'abortion' ili tusiwe single mazas...yaani nimeshangaa huku unahubiri usafi..ubikira mpaka ndoani huku una advocate uuaji...huna usafi wowote!.

.hao wanaokufuta PM kwa ajili ya huu 'ushauri' wana matatizo nao..message yangu kwako na kwao..mambo hayako that strict..anzeni kuona mambo with open eyes...

nilikosea pale juu sio revolutionary ni evolutionary..ukipata muda pitia mwenyewe ..it is fascinating...
Evolutionary!! Nothing is evolutionary bali ni kujidanganya. Majuto ni mjukuu, hiyo sex evolution ni mind programming. Ni aibu baadhi ya watu wasiojitambua wameambukizwa fikra hizi za hovyo kabisa. Mwisho wake huwa ni mbaya no matter what!
 

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Rebeca 83

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Evolutionary!! Nothing is evolutionary bali ni kujidanganya. Majuto ni mjukuu, hiyo sex evolution ni mind programming. Ni aibu baadhi ya watu wasiojitambua wameambukizwa fikra hizi za hovyo kabisa. Mwisho wake huwa ni mbaya no matter what!
Wa kujidanganya ni wewe, naona unaishi kwenye ulimwengu wa kufikirika..ulimwengu ambao kila mtu anaconform to the rules!..hasa wanawake ,, lazima wafate rules!...hata wale religious extremists huwa wanaanzaga kama wewe kufikiri kila mtu lazima a conform to their ways!..nakuvuta uone the real world naona bado mzito,,,kwa heri!

Evolution and mind mapping..ukipata muda tafuta mwenyewe....very interesting,,,ni kwa vile tayari uko biased...nyekundu utasema nyeusi hata kama unaiona kabisaa kuwa ni nyekundu...

Naona usingle mothers na uuaji unabariki uuaji,,, doh! Watoto walikufanya nini hutaki kuwasikia?
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Wa kujidanganya ni wewe, naona unaishi kwenye ulimwengu wa kufikirika..ulimwengu ambao kila mtu anaconform to the rules!..hasa wanawake ,, lazima wafate rules!...hata wale religious extremists huwa wanaanzaga kama wewe kufikiri kila mtu lazima a conform to their ways!..nakuvuta uone the real world naona bado mzito,,,kwa heri!

Evolution and mind mapping..ukipata muda tafuta mwenyewe....very interesting,,,ni kwa vile tayari uko biased...nyekundu utasema nyeusi hata kama unaiona kabisaa kuwa ni nyekundu...

Naona usingle mothers na uuaji unabariki uuaji,,, doh! Watoto walikufanya nini hutaki kuwasikia?
Sina cha kujifunza kwenye hizo sexual evolution. Nimetafiti yote hayo na si hivyo tu, sasa hivi hata hao waliokulisha matango pori huko kwao wanajuta. Ulaya na marwkani sasa hivi wako kinyume na huo upuuzi, wakati nchi zisizojitambua ndio zinajidai kufuata hayo. Wewe ndio unaishi katika ulimwengu wa kufikirika, umepote kweli kweli, umekaririshwa mambo ambayo ni theoretical kwani katika practoce yameshindwa vibaya mno.

Waafrika tunaiga bila kuchuja, tumegeuzwa misukule tukizolewa na kila upepo wa kimagharibi, halafu tunajidai kuelewa zaidi kumbe tumegeuzwa misukule. Hao watoto unaojidai kuwahurumia ndio kwanza unawahujumu. Mimi napigania wapate malezi sahihi ya baba na mama, wewe unapigania sexual evolution ambapo mwanamke aweza kumwoa mwanamke halafu wakajifanya wazaz. This is disgusting na siwezi kamwe kuikubali, huu ni ukengeufu wa kuvuka mipaka.
 

Rebeca 83

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Rebeca 83

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Sina cha kujifunza kwenye hizo sexual evolution. Nimetafiti yote hayo na si hivyo tu, sasa hivi hata hao waliokulisha matango pori huko kwao wanajuta. Ulaya na marwkani sasa hivi wako kinyume na huo upuuzi, wakati nchi zisizojitambua ndio zinajidai kufuata hayo. Wewe ndio unaishi katika ulimwengu wa kufikirika, umepote kweli kweli, umekaririshwa mambo ambayo ni theoretical kwani katika practoce yameshindwa vibaya mno.

Waafrika tunaiga bila kuchuja, tumegeuzwa misukule tukizolewa na kila upepo wa kimagharibi, halafu tunajidai kuelewa zaidi kumbe tumegeuzwa misukule. Hao watoto unaojidai kuwahurumia ndio kwanza unawahujumu. Mimi napigania wapate malezi sahihi ya baba na mama, wewe unapigania sexual evolution ambapo mwanamke aweza kumwoa mwanamke halafu wakajifanya wazaz. This is disgusting na siwezi kamwe kuikubali, huu ni ukengeufu wa kuvuka mipaka.
...nilivyokuambia dig it yourself sikumaanisha uende kwenye matabloids...again tafuta muda ujiongeze mwenyewe sina muda wa kukaza shingo kumfundisha mtu nyeusi wakati keshakariri ni nyekundu...

kwamba ni theoretical sio practical..hii sentensi imenionyesha hujui unachoongea..pole sana..you are soo lost..

Muuaji wewe unajificha kwenye kivuli cha kupigania malezi sahihi wakati ume ignore life of a child,a child that has a right to live..inashangaza hurespect life of a child at first bali baadae kwenye malezi ndio unakua uko concerned...mkuu hujitambui….

Second hayo malezi ya baba na mama mbona hujaweka wanaume kwenye hii topic?... au hujui wanaume's responsibilities kwenye ku create single mothers?..wanawake wangebaki bikira kama nyie wanaume mngebaki pia na bikira na tatizo la usingle mother lisingekuwepo .Fact!..sema na wanaume wenzio..sababu hili linawahusu,sio sisi!...

hahaaa eti tumegeuzwa misukule na wamagharibi...mkuu hao wamagharibi wanafananaje??..mtume mmoja huku vikindu nimsalimie..lol..huwezi kuprove lolote Becky nawajua wamagharibi 😁 😁 ;)

Endelea kuishi kwenye dunia ya kufikirika...maana hata ukivutwa hujiongezi..lol
 

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Ndiyo, sababu Mungu ni wa wote.
Including sisi tuliokataa kuoa single mothers na tunaendelea kuhimiza wengine wafuate mfano huo. Single mother hapana, hilo nimelipiga marufuku kwenye familia yangu na jamii yangu yote na nasisitiza kwa wote ninaowapenda waepuke hiyo laana.

Hata wanaokunywa madawa ya kulevya watasema Mungu ni wa wote! Kwahiyo endelea kutetea single mothers, sisi wengine tunakataza na kupinga kabisa laana hiyo.
 

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Including sisi tuliokataa kuoa single mothers na tunaendelea kuhimiza wengine wafuate mfano huo. Single mother hapana, hilo nimelipiga marufuku kwenye familia yangu na jamii yangu yote na nasisitiza kwa wote ninaowapenda waepuke hiyo laana.

Hata wanaokunywa madawa ya kulevya watasema Mungu ni wa wote! Kwahiyo endelea kutetea single mothers, sisi wengine tunakataza na kupinga kabisa laana hiyo.
Laana right?? Vipi na wale single mothers wanaohangaika na watoto peke yao hadi mwisho wa siku watoto wao wanakuja kufanikiwa kielimu na kiuchumi??

Halafu tusingewaona wanafiki kama mngekuwa mnawashutumu na hao wanaume wanaosababisha uwepo wa single mothers kwa sababu za kipumbavu
 

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adolay

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Laana right?? Vipi na wale single mothers wanaohangaika na watoto peke yao hadi mwisho wa siku watoto wao wanakuja kufanikiwa kielimu na kiuchumi??

Halafu tusingewaona wanafiki kama mngekuwa mnawashutumu na hao wanaume wanaosababisha uwepo wa single mothers kwa sababu za kipumbavu
Uko sahihi 100% blaming should be casted kwa wote. ...male & females

To be realistic could be more males maana ndio wanaokimbia nakuzikataa mimba
 

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adolay

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Including sisi tuliokataa kuoa single mothers na tunaendelea kuhimiza wengine wafuate mfano huo. Single mother hapana, hilo nimelipiga marufuku kwenye familia yangu na jamii yangu yote na nasisitiza kwa wote ninaowapenda waepuke hiyo laana.

Hata wanaokunywa madawa ya kulevya watasema Mungu ni wa wote! Kwahiyo endelea kutetea single mothers, sisi wengine tunakataza na kupinga kabisa laana hiyo.
Practically huwezi kusema hapana Single mothers

1. Je wanaojikuta kupeana mimba na baba anafaliki kwa bahati mbaya?

2. Wanaoachwa kwa sababu pengine za msingi na mama kubakia single na mimba yake

3. Wanaobakwa nakujikuta wanabeba mimba zisizotarajiwa

4. Wanaotapeliwa na wanaume kisha kukimbiwa baada ya mimba

A) Single mothers hawawezi kulaumiwa bila kuwepo lawama kwa watia mimba yaani wanaume

B) Binadamu tunamapungufu yetu, hakuna aliyemkamilifu 100%. Kujikwaa kupo na sio kosa la anayebeba mimba tu....usimsahau mtiaji mimba.....

Duniani tuwe na genuine finger pointing than unrealistic one. Sio sahihi mama kubebeshwa lawama za u-single mothers bila kubebisha lawama watia mimba na kuzikimbia au kuzikataa au kuwakataa waliowatia mimba.
 

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