Kwahiyo unataka kuoa single mama?

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Basi fahamu haya:

Mwanamke aliyezaa huhamishia mapenzi kwa mwanaye. Hali huwa hivyo hata ndani ya ndoa, kiasi kwamba ndoa nyingi hupoteza mvuto pale tu mtoto anapozaliwa. Kwako wewe kijana unayetaka kujitwika mabomu uoe single mother.

Mwanamke anatakiwa aolewe katika ubikira wake ili mwanamume kujisikia kwamba kweli amepata mtu mwaminifu. Lakini kama hata hilo halikutosha kukushawishi, usithubutu kuoa mwanamke ambaye ni single mama, labda kama una uvumilivu usiopimika. Yako mambo kadhaa ambayo yanamfanya single mama asiwe sehemu ya mtarajiwa wa ndoa.

1. Single mama wengi ni matokeo ya uzinzi ama uasherati. Binti anapojiingiza kwenye mapenzi kabla ya ndoa kwa kigezo cha kutafuta kuolewa ni dalili mbaya hata kama ataolewa kweli. Hii inaonyesha kuwa ana udhaifu kwenye eneo la ndoa kiasi kwamba yuko tayari kuutumia mwili wake kama rushwa ili kufanikisha ndoa. Hii haitofautiani na mwanamke aliye ndani ama nje ya ndoa kutumia tigo yake kama kishawishi cha kumshika mwanamume. Unapotumia ngono kama sehemu ya ushawishi, ama kama silaha ya kumteka mwanamume ujue kwamba unaondoa thamani yako na kuingia kwenye kundi la makahaba. Ni kweli uchi wa mwanamke ndio silaha yake kwenye mahusiano, lakini si kwa kuigawa hovyo, bali kwa kuwanyima wanaoitamani ili apatikane mwenye nia thabiti ya ndoa.

Inapotokea binti kajiingiza kwenye mapenzi mpaka kupata mimba, tayari keshapata muunganiko mwingine na mwanamume aliyempa mimba hiyo, tayari wameunganishwa na mtoto huyo, ingawa bado mwanamume aliona huyu mwanamke hafai kuwa mke, alikiwa anamtumia tu kukidhi kiu yake mpaka pale atakapompata mtu sahihi. Sasa wewe ni nani hata ukajiingize kuoa mwanamke wa aina hii?

2. Single mama hawezi kukupenda kwa jinsi ulivyo, bali kutakuwa na sharti la mtoto. Kwamba iwapo utamtunza mtoto kama single mama atakavyo basi utapewa mapenzi matamu. Ni ukweli usiopingika kuwa mwanamke apatapo mtoto mapenzi yote huhamia huko, hivyo wewe jiandae kuwa chaguo la pili kwake. Haya sio mapenzi na ujue tu kuwa huwezi kuwa na amani kamwe.

3. Mtoto si wako. Hata kama utampenda na kumhudumia kwa namna yoyote ile, ukweli utabaki kuwa huyo si mwanao, sio damu yako. Ni kwamba umejitwika jukumu la kumhudumia mtoto wa mwanaume mwenzako ambaye ndiye ataendelea kutambulika kama baba mzazi. Siku akikua ataanza kumtafuta aliyechangia mbegu mpaka akaja dunuani, sio aliyechangia ugali. Ikitokea mmeachana na single mama, ujue ndio mwisho wa kuonana na mwanao mpenzi uliyekuwa ukimtunza kwa nguvu zako zote.

4. Utatumia nguvu kubwa kulilinda penzi. Ili ujihakikishie kuwa single mama anatulizana na wewe, utahitaji kuishi maisha ya kumfurahisha yeye, kumpa atakacho ili asije akamkumbuka mume wake wa kwanza. Namna pekee ya kumfurahisha ni kuhakikisha mtoto wa mwanamume mwenzako anapata maatunzo mazuri, nguo nzuri, elimu nzuri n.k. Utalazimika kuwa karibu naye kuliko hata baba mzazi anavyokuwa, yote haya ni kutafuta kumfurahisha single mama. Utaishi maisha ya kujipendekeza, yenye stress nyingi.

5. Huna sauti juu ya mtoto. Hata kama utataka umchujue mtoto huyu kuwa mwanao kamili, umpe malezi halisi ya mzazi, kuna mahali utakwama tu. Huwezi kumwadabisha kwa mikono miwili, lazima mmoja utakuwa nyuma na mwingine utakuwa mbele. Mara zote utakaa ukijiuliza, labda nikimfanya hivi mama yake atadhani namchukia, jamii nayo itanifikiria vingine. Utajikuta wewe mwenyewe unajiwekea mipaka hata kabla pilato hajakuhukumu kwa kuvuka mstari!! Pigo kubwa zaidi ni pale single mama atakapokutamkia kuwa unamtendea hivyo kwa sababu mtoto sio wako. Hapo utabaki kama mjinga fulani aliyepigwa bumbuwazi asijue aukabili vipi ukweli huu mchungu.

6. Chanzo cha vurugu kwenye familia. Hata ikitokea mmezaa watoto wengine, bado mapenzi hayawezi kuwa sawa. Single mama wana kawaida ya kuwaandalia mazingira watoto wa baba wengine tofauti hao wa baba waliye naye wakati huo. Hufanya hivyo kwa hofu kuwa watoto hawa mara nyingi hawana urrithi kwa baba aliyewalea. Hii huleta mgawanyiko mkubwa kwenye familia kiasi cha watoto wenyewe kuchukiana. Hata ndugu wa mwanamume hawawezi kamwe kumhesabu mtoto huyu kama sehemu ya familia kwa sabubu sio damu yao na anao ukoo mwingine kabisa. Hawezi kujitambulisha kwa jina la baba wa kambo kwa sabubu hana muunganiko wowote naye. Hata ikitokea baba mlezi amekufa, ukoo wake hauwezi kumhesabu mtoto huyu kama sehemu ya urithi. Tunajifunza kwa wanyama wengine pia kama simba, ambapo anapoinuka dume mwingine kuongoza majike, huua watoto wote àliowakuta kisha huanza upya kusaka watoto wake. Sasa sisi hatuwezi kuua, bali tunaweza kuepuka taabu hii kwa kutokuoa mwanamke mwenye watoto.

7. Mume wa kwanza ana nafasi ya kuendelea kumtafuna single mama atakavyo. Kwa kawaida mwanamke akishazaa na mwanamume, ule muunganiko huwa haufi. Tayari ni mzazi mwenza na hana cha khmficha tena, hivyo kupasha kiporo ni jambo la kawaida tu. Pia mama atataka mtoto amjue baba yake halisi kwa ajili ya siku zijazo, hivyo hawezi kujiweka mbali na mzazi mwenzake. Sasa mzazi mwenza ni juu yake kuamua kuendelea kumla ama la, kwani hakuna kutongozana tena, ni kupanga miadi tu na kukutana kuserebuka. Kidume wewe utageuzwa baba mlishi huku haki nyingine zote zikielekezwa kwa mwenye mwanaye.

Ukweli ni kuwa single mama anapopata mume, focus yake sio ndoa bali ni malezi ya mwanaye. Anataka uhakika tu kuwa mwanae ataishi na atapata matunzo bora ili siku za usoni aje kumsaidia yeye.

Ewe kijana, usijiingize kwenye mtego utakaoharibu maisha yako. Tafuta bikira atakayefunga kiapo nawe, achana na wanawake waliozaa hovyo kwa kukosa mwelekeo.

Hapa sijazungumza juu ya walioolewa kisha waume zao kufariki, kwani kwao hawa yako mambo mengi pia nyuma ya pazia ya kuchunguza.
 

Karma

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Tatizo huelewi kinachoongelewa ama unapindisha ukweli. Mimi nikisema kulala mlango wazi kumesababisha wezi kuiba, mbu kujaa ndani, vumbi kujaa ndani n.k. halafu wewe unauliza kwa hiyo wezi wanaoingia kuiba wako sahihi?
Ndiyo lazima niulize kwa sababu unawatetea kama kitu kingekuwa siyo sahihi usingekitetea maana haiwezekani useme na wanaume nao wanakosea halafu hapo hapo unawatetea maana yake nini si maana yake wako sahihi au??

Halafu kumbuka kufunga milango ya nyumba siyo suluhisho la wezi kuacha kuiba maana kuna wezi wanavunja milango na kuna raia wanaishi kwenye nyumba mbovu kutokana na hali duni ya maisha kwahiyo wezi wasipokemewa kuacha tabia yao ya wizi wataendelea kujiona wako sahihi siku zote na hata mtu ajikinge nao vipi bado watatafuta kila mbinu ili waje waibe kwa sababu wanajiona hawana makosa na ndicho nilichokuwa nakisemea pale juu na hata hivyo maandiko si yanakata wizi au sasa iweje tusiwakemee wezi!!
 

Nyenyere

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Ndiyo lazima niulize kwa sababu unawatetea kama kitu kingekuwa siyo sahihi usingekitetea maana haiwezekani useme na wanaume nao wanakosea halafu hapo hapo unawatetea maana yake nini si maana yake wako sahihi au??

Halafu kumbuka kufunga milango ya nyumba siyo suluhisho la wezi kuacha kuiba maana kuna wezi wanavunja milango na kuna raia wanaishi kwenye nyumba mbovu kutokana na hali duni ya maisha kwahiyo wezi wasipokemewa kuacha tabia yao ya wizi wataendelea kujiona wako sahihi siku zote na hata mtu ajikinge nao vipi bado watatafuta kila mbinu ili waje waibe kwa sababu wanajiona hawana makosa na ndicho nilichokuwa nakisemea pale juu na hata hivyo maandiko si yanakata wizi au sasa iweje tusiwakemee wezi!!
Suluhisho la kwanza funga milango kila wakati kama haupo nyumbani. Ndiovyo ninavyomwambia binti. Suluhisha la pili jamii ianzishe ulinzi shirikishi ili kuwabaini wezi kabla hawajaiba na kuwadhibiti. Ndivyo ninavyoiambia jamii. Kw wezi, hao ni kuwawekea mazingira magumu ili waogope kutiwa mikononi ama kuuawa. Hakuna serikali duniani inayopambana na wizi kwa kuwasihi wezi waache kuiba, bali huwaonya raia kuchukua tahadhari huku ikiviagiza vyombo vya usalama kuwasaka wezi hao.

Sasa wewe unataka watu walale milango wazi huku wezi wakihubiriwa waache kuiba!! Funga mlango mama, wezi wapo tu ila usiwape urahisi. Wanaovunja ni sawa na wabakaji, hao nao wapo tu, ila kuna namna ya kushughulika nao.
 

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Suluhisho la kwanza funga milango kila wakati kama haupo nyumbani. Ndiovyo ninavyomwambia binti. Suluhisha la pili jamii ianzishe ulinzi shirikishi ili kuwabaini wezi kabla hawajaiba na kuwadhibiti. Ndivyo ninavyoiambia jamii. Kw wezi, hao ni kuwawekea mazingira magumu ili waogope kutiwa mikononi ama kuuawa. Hakuna serikali duniani inayopambana na wizi kwa kuwasihi wezi waache kuiba, bali huwaonya raia kuchukua tahadhari huku ikiviagiza vyombo vya usalama kuwasaka wezi hao.

Sasa wewe unataka watu walale milango wazi huku wezi wakihubiriwa waache kuiba!! Funga mlango mama, wezi wapo tu ila usiwape urahisi. Wanaovunja ni sawa na wabakaji, hao nao wapo tu, ila kuna namna ya kushughulika nao.
Mimi sijasema watu walale milango wazi sijui kama unaelewa, yaani wewe umeng'ang'ania kudhani kwamba mimi sitaki wanawake wajitunze.

Watu wafunge milango ndiyo lakini na wezi pia waache kuiba, vivyo hivyo wanawake wajitunze ndiyo lakini wanaume nao waache kutongoza hovyo na siyo eti mnasingizia wanawake wanawatega wakati hata wanaovaa mabaibui kila siku nao wanatongozwa kwa nia ovu.
 

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aymatu

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Inawezekana.
Single mother anapaswa kuolewa na single father au Mgane au mwanaume wa makamo au mzee. Kamwe kijana usijaribu kuchukua single mother, utakuwa unabahatisha mnoo, na huenda ukateseka sana.

Single mother hawana shida, shida ni vijana wanaokimbilia kuwaoa single mother wakati vigezo na masharti hawawezi kuvizingatia.
 

Nyenyere

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Mimi sijasema watu walale milango wazi sijui kama unaelewa, yaani wewe umeng'ang'ania kudhani kwamba mimi sitaki wanawake wajitunze.

Watu wafunge milango ndiyo lakini na wezi pia waache kuiba, vivyo hivyo wanawake wajitunze ndiyo lakini wanaume nao waache kutongoza hovyo na siyo eti mnasingizia wanawake wanawatega wakati hata wanaovaa mabaibui kila siku nao wanatongozwa kwa nia ovu.
Pole sana. Wanawake mnatoa ya chumbani nje halafu mnataka wanaume wasiwake tamaa? Kwa kuwa mmeikataa hekima mtadumu kuwa vyombo vya starehe, mwanaume huamshwa hisia zake kwa mwonekano wa kikahaba wa mwanamke. Sasa endelerni kubisha hata penye ukweli mkitafuta usawa.
 

Karma

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Karma

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Pole sana. Wanawake mnatoa ya chumbani nje halafu mnataka wanaume wasiwake tamaa? Kwa kuwa mmeikataa hekima mtadumu kuwa vyombo vya starehe, mwanaume huamshwa hisia zake kwa mwonekano wa kikahaba wa mwanamke. Sasa endelerni kubisha hata penye ukweli mkitafuta usawa.
Nadhani niishie hapa tu kwa sababu imekuwia vigumu kwako kunielewa, usiku mwema.
 

mama D

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mama D

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Single mother anastahili kuishi lakini hafai kuolewa na anayeanza ndoa. Mwenye kuanza ndoa anastahili kupata mke fresh wapate uzoefu pamoja, sio single mother. Weka nukta hapo. Mengine blah blah tu.
Huyo mke fresh anapimwaje mkuu? Unaweza chagua unayedhani ni fresh ila maisha yake alopitia na mambo yake kiujumla single mama anasubiri
 

Rebeca 83

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Rebeca 83

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Mshindwe mnaopreach hatred towards single mothers, wengine hata baba zenu halisi/ biological hamuwajui kisa mmezaliwa ndani ya ndoa mnajiona mna right ya kuwasema vibaya single mothers!

Kama ni umalaya ulikuwepo kuanzia enzi vitabu vinaandikwa ungekuwa sio advantageous ungekufa natural death,,,
 

Nyenyere

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Huyo mke fresh anapimwaje mkuu? Unaweza chagua unayedhani ni fresh ila maisha yake alopitia na mambo yake kiujumla single mama anasubiri
Mke bikra sio fresh tu. Kwa wakristo biblia imeagiza hivyo pia. Mwanamke aliyelala na wanaume ndio yale yale, na hii ndio sababu mnakuja na kauli za kudai single mothers wametuloa kuliko hao. Mke amepaswa kuolewa akiwa bikra na si kwa kigezo cha kutokuzaa
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Mshindwe mnaopreach hatred towards single mothers, wengine hata baba zenu halisi/ biological hamuwajui kisa mmezaliwa ndani ya ndoa mnajiona mna right ya kuwasema vibaya single mothers!

Kama ni umalaya ulikuwepo kuanzia enzi vitabu vinaandikwa ungekuwa sio advantageous ungekufa natural death,,,

Pigeni kelele humu JF ukimaliza zima laptop yako ulale!
Ukweli utasemwa no matter what. Turejee kwenye misingi ya asili. Najua neno hili ni gumu na sio kila mtu aweza kulipokea. No hatred, no nothing, tuwakanye binti zetu waepuke ukahaba waitunze bikra kwa ajili ya kufunga mkataba wa ndoa
 

Rebeca 83

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Rebeca 83

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Ukweli utasemwa no matter what. Turejee kwenye misingi ya asili. Najua neno hili ni gumu na sio kila mtu aweza kulipokea. No hatred, no nothing, tuwakanye binti zetu waepuke ukahaba waitunze bikra kwa ajili ya kufunga mkataba wa ndoa
Hio misingi ya asili ndio ipi na ilienda wapi mpaka sasa hivi ndio tuirejee? Bikra kila mtu alikuwepo nayo.. Malay.a sio Malay,a..wote walizaliwa nazo ... no big deal..bikira imekua overrated in this topic ... ingekua kweli bikira inaserve function watu wangeziweka, unfortunately bikira hai determine uhai wa ndoa, wala wanaume kuchepuka haiwazuii.. which leaves bikira to useless piece of shit!

Nenda katafute submissive wife huko..mwenye bikira na asie na mtoto,, mimi nawaheshimu single mothers it’s because of Love and Sacrifice they have THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE SOMEONE LIFE ..they are strong not cowards like some of you people sit on your computer na kuwaacha feeling worthless!
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Hio misingi ya asili ndio ipi na ilienda wapi mpaka sasa hivi ndio tuirejee? Bikra kila mtu alikuwepo nayo.. Malay.a sio Malay,a..wote walizaliwa nazo ... no big deal..bikira imekua overrated in this topic ... ingekua kweli bikira inaserve function watu wangeziweka, unfortunately bikira hai determine uhai wa ndoa, wala wanaume kuchepuka haiwazuii.. which leaves bikira to useless piece of shit!

Nenda katafute submissive wife huko..mwenye bikira na asie na mtoto,, mimi nawaheshimu single mothers it’s because of Love and Sacrifice they have THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE SOMEONE LIFE ..they are strong not cowards like some of you people sit on your computer na kuwaacha feeling worthless!
Umeona tafiti au unaongea kwa sababu tu umeumia? Kushabikia ukahaba eti kwa sababu bikra unaiona haina maana ni mtazamo w ajabu zaidi. Kwamba single mothers ni strong, hiyo ni misemo ya kwenye social media lakini uhalisia ni tofauti kabisa.

Uhai wa ndoa unakuwa determined na bikra, research zinaonyesha hivyo na sio kauli za walioshindwa kutunza bikra zao. Mwanamke asiyetambua thamani ya bikra yake hafai kuwa mke, I am sorry to say this.
 

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mama D

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Mke bikra sio fresh tu. Kwa wakristo biblia imeagiza hivyo pia. Mwanamke aliyelala na wanaume ndio yale yale, na hii ndio sababu mnakuja na kauli za kudai single mothers wametuloa kuliko hao. Mke amepaswa kuolewa akiwa bikra na si kwa kigezo cha kutokuzaa
Sawa mkuu

Ila hakuna mstari kwenye biblia umesema mwanamke aliyekwisha zaa asiolewe imetoa hata muongozo kwenye hilo
Na bikra zipo madukani siku hizi nyingi tuu kila mwanamke anaweza kuwa nayo

Cha maana mwombe Mungu akupe mwanamke sahihi
 

Rebeca 83

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Rebeca 83

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Umeona tafiti au unaongea kwa sababu tu umeumia? Kushabikia ukahaba eti kwa sababu bikra unaiona haina maana ni mtazamo w ajabu zaidi. Kwamba single mothers ni strong, hiyo ni misemo ya kwenye social media lakini uhalisia ni tofauti kabisa.

Uhai wa ndoa unakuwa determined na bikra, research zinaonyesha hivyo na sio kauli za walioshindwa kutunza bikra zao. Mwanamke asiyetambua thamani ya bikra yake hafai kuwa mke, I am sorry to say this.
Eti uhai wa ndoa unakua determined na bikira hahaaa ingekua it is that important wanawake woote wangeziacha zibaki mpaka waolewe ili wadumu ndoani, acha kuishi ulimwengu wa kufikirika ndugu! ,,, ni kwa vile tu hatuna alama usoni km huyu ni bikira ama not ila ingekua una alama usoni ukiwa bikira sijui ungefanyaje baada ya kugundua labda dada zako wote hawanazo , bado ungepreach hapa JF ubikira??

Single mothers wako veeery strong eti social media sijui zimefanyaje...uhalisia upi unaoongea?? Si tunaona mitaani wakipambana kuhakikisha wao na watoto wao wanapata chakula.. kuwa strong ni ku FACE RESPONSIBILITIES,,,,

Kisha ukahaba upo sababu jinsia zote mbili zimeridhia unacholalamikiwa in this topic ni kuwalaumu wanawake tu ndio wako responsible, ukweli km wanaume wangebaki bikra then wanawake nao wangebaki bikra end of!

Mwisho research jiongeze mwenyewe kuna watu wanafanya research wakiwa biased,,,anyway I also found this research have a look lol https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/ideal-number-sexual-partners-before-settling-down-sex-man-woman-marriage-study-a7717571.html?amp
 

mama D

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mama D

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Ukweli utasemwa no matter what. Turejee kwenye misingi ya asili. Najua neno hili ni gumu na sio kila mtu aweza kulipokea. No hatred, no nothing, tuwakanye binti zetu waepuke ukahaba waitunze bikra kwa ajili ya kufunga mkataba wa ndoa
Mkuu Nyenyere I hope wewe ni bikira ndio maana unasisitiza kuoa bikira.... it's a good thinking😁😁

Biblia imetoa miongozo mingi katika maisha ya wanadamu nikukumbushe tuu ✍signature yangu hapo chini 👇 muongozo wa biblia. Acha kuwasemea vibaya wanawake waliozaa
 

Nyenyere

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Nyenyere

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Hio misingi ya asili ndio ipi na ilienda wapi mpaka sasa hivi ndio tuirejee? Bikra kila mtu alikuwepo nayo.. Malay.a sio Malay,a..wote walizaliwa nazo ... no big deal..bikira imekua overrated in this topic ... ingekua kweli bikira inaserve function watu wangeziweka, unfortunately bikira hai determine uhai wa ndoa, wala wanaume kuchepuka haiwazuii.. which leaves bikira to useless piece of shit!

Nenda katafute submissive wife huko..mwenye bikira na asie na mtoto,, mimi nawaheshimu single mothers it’s because of Love and Sacrifice they have THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE SOMEONE LIFE ..they are strong not cowards like some of you people sit on your computer na kuwaacha feeling worthless!
Huu uzi umefika page ya 120! Anyways, najua nachukiwa humu JF, ila nawaombea single mothers, Mungu awafanyie wepesi. So much hatred.
Mimi sijasema watu walale milango wazi sijui kama unaelewa, yaani wewe umeng'ang'ania kudhani kwamba mimi sitaki wanawake wajitunze.

Watu wafunge milango ndiyo lakini na wezi pia waache kuiba, vivyo hivyo wanawake wajitunze ndiyo lakini wanaume nao waache kutongoza hovyo na siyo eti mnasingizia wanawake wanawatega wakati hata wanaovaa mabaibui kila siku nao wanatongozwa kwa nia ovu.
Nikisema ukweli halisi, mara nyingi single mother ni dalili ya mwanamke asiyefaa kuwa mke wa ndoa. Why?

1. Kama kazaa na mwanamume mwenye ndoa unajiuliza iweje mwanamke anayefaa kwa ndoa ajihusishe na mume wa mtu? Ni dalili mbaya kwake

2. Kama kazaa na kijana mwanafunzi unajiuliza akili ya huyu mwanamke kama anaweza kumudu pressure za ndoa

3. Kama kazaa na kijana asiye na mbele wala nyuma ........

4. Kama kazaa na mtoto wa mama ......

5. Kama hana uhakikababa ni yupi.....

6. Kama kazaa na mwanamume single kisha kamkataa maana yake hatoshi kuwa mke...

Na kadhalika
 

rikiboy

JF-Expert Member
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rikiboy

JF-Expert Member
Joined Feb 19, 2017
11,511 2,000
Mkuu Nyenyere I hope wewe ni bikira ndio maana unasisitiza kuoa bikira.... it's a good thinking

Biblia imetoa miongozo mingi katika maisha ya wanadamu nikukumbushe tuu signature yangu hapo chini muongozo wa biblia. Acha kuwasemea vibaya wanawake waliozaa
Mama D kuwa mpole bila bikra nyie mnapasha sana viporoo
 

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